


Unpredictable

by Riya3



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:46:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 75,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riya3/pseuds/Riya3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto never suspected that his simple mission could end in this badly. On the bright side, at least his lazy, perverted sensei was there to suffer with him. Meanwhile, Sakura and Sai go through equals amounts of exasperation in their quest to help their teammates out and, more importantly, see Kakashi's face. (This work has just been imported).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fifteen Million Ryo

**Prologue - Fifteen Million Ryo**

Naruto usually tried his best to stay alert during his missions. But when the sun above Sunagakure seemed like it had something against his existence and all he wanted to do was peel his sweaty clothes from his body and lie in a freezer somewhere, focus was a rather difficult thing to ask of him.

"Do you understand?" Kakashi asked him, "we have to deal with this delicately. There are people around.  _Civilian_ people." He looked pointedly at the Suna civilians drifting lazily through the streets under the midday sun.

"So…hot…" Naruto managed. He hiked up the bottom of the rough robe that was  _supposed_ to shield him from the sun but was actually giving him a rash, and tried to un-stick his shirt from his chest. Kakashi watched tiredly as the bright orange clothing underneath was exposed.

They were standing outside a rather small teahouse that boasted to serve the most calming tea in Wind Country. At this time of day when all the respectable people were off working, it was mostly empty. Naruto peered through the dirty windows and spotted two figures in Suna jonin-flak jackets sitting inside, at a private table in one corner. They were both wearing loose cloth tied around their faces, which made it hard to identify so much as their gender. But that was common during the summers of Wind, when the sun bore down with a vengeance and skin protection was a priority. He vaguely realized that this was one of the only places where his masked sensei didn't look out of place at all.

"I'll take that as a yes," Kakashi sighed, "focus, Naruto. This is an important mission, and we have to meet up with Sakura and Sai in three hours after we find the hideout. I'll retrieve the information; all you need to do is follow wherever they go without making yourself known."

Naruto nodded, "Right. You can count on me, sensei." He remembered catching some words here and there, and made up the rest in his head. Kakashi-sensei went in, beat up the rebel jonin until they told him where their rebel leader was, and then they went to his hideout and beat him up too. Simple enough. He didn't know why Gaara had asked for Konoha nin to take the mission.

Kakashi looked like he wanted to stay and explain further, but he nodded and quietly entered the teahouse, leaving his student outside. Naruto watched through the window as he went directly for the lone occupied table and paused in front of it. The two Suna jonin who were suspected of being part of the rebel group Kazekage Gaara had asked them to take out looked up at him sharply.

Naruto turned to lean back against the windowpanes of the building, looking out onto the street. He absently continued pulling at his sweaty shirt, drawing strange looks from people who saw the burst of orange under the typical drab cloak, and wondered what he was doing wearing something so bright in the desert heat. Some glanced at his Konoha forehead protector.

He sighed in frustration and dug a hole in the sand with his shoe. After proving himself worthy by defeating that Kakuzu person with rasen-shuriken, he'd thought that he would be assigned another Sasuke retrieval mission, and that he would finally be able to try to bring his teammate back. But it had only served to show Tsunade baa-chan that he was ready to do higher ranked missions. Normally this would have been great news. But it was taking away from potential Sasuke-retrieval time.

She'd decided to begin by sending him on a mission with his sensei, Sakura, and Sai. The four of them made a good team; Kakashi and Sakura had been frequent mission partners during the days Naruto had been away, and Sai just took some getting used to.

He heard a vague thud behind him and turned quickly. Naruto's eyes widened at the sight inside the teahouse.

One of the two figures was swinging Hatake Kakashi's limp body over his shoulder. They were heading to leave through the back door of the building.

Without a second thought, Naruto burst into the shop, sending the door crashing into the wall. Thoughts of the unbearable heat were replaced by anger at what was being done to  _his_ sensei. Anger, and slight confusion. Why on earth was Kakashi-sensei being bested by two lesser jonin?

At the sound, both Suna shinobi turned around with kunai in their hands. Their eyes narrowed, and the larger one's grip over the unconscious Copy-Nin's waist tightened.

"Who are you?" The shorter one demanded. Naruto could make out a female voice, even though it was muffled by the cloth around her face.

"Let go of him," Naruto growled back. His fingers itched to leap into the clone seal.

"Sorry kid, this man knows some dangerous information," she replied. Then her eyes flicked up to his forehead protector, which proudly boasted the symbol of a leaf, "and maybe  _you_ do too…"

"What information? We were just…passing through the area," Naruto faked, forcing himself to think a little rationally. Kakashi-sensei had always told him that a shinobi's brains were more important than his jutsu. Frankly, Naruto preferred to simply rush forward into things, but he recognized the value of some restraint. Especially when his unconscious sensei had just been taken by an enemy.

The taller man, who still had Kakashi over his shoulder, was looking at him incredulously, as if questioning that someone with such a lame excuse could actually be any danger to them at all. "Oh yeah? And let me guess, this person's your father?"

Well, not unless he'd had Naruto at fourteen. The blond boy tilted his head to one side briefly for a few seconds. "He's my older brother," he said firmly, the effect ruined by his obvious momentary thought.

"Kuroda, let's go," the woman whispered, drawing back, "looks like this boy's probably just a genin," she turned to him, "get away, kid. This doesn't concern you."

"Yes it does!" He told her, "he's my teammate, and I can't just leave him behind!" Even though he was technically a genin, he figured he had a good chance against two lower-end jonin. Rasen-shuriken might have been declared a kinjutsu, but they would taste his Oodama rasengan instead. If it came to it, he would just have to forget about the people around and use his tajuu kage bunshin to take them out.

The two jonin simply turned towards the back door with the unconscious Kakashi, prepared to ignore the loud blond boy.

"You're not going anywhere with my sensei!" Naruto yelled. He pushed his fingers into the clone seal, oblivious to the small group of people wondering who had broken the teahouse door.

"Kage bunshin!"

Almost immediately, two Narutos rushed forward. As they went, one scratched at the other's hand, creating a whirling blue ball. They leapt up over the tables and sent various wooden chair legs flying. Naruto smirked as the two Suna nin started at the sight of the rasengan. Kakashi-sensei was totally going to owe him ramen for this.

But before they could get close, the shorter figure pressed her hands to the ground.

"Doton: Doryuuheki!"

With a large creak, the ground in front of Naruto burst upwards, and he had to leap back as a wall of earth rose in the middle of the shop. The clone beside him burst, but he pressed on, slamming the rasengan into the earth wall in front of him. The ball of blue chakra crashed into it, sending stones flying as it easily cut through the doton jutsu. Naruto put his hands at the ends of the hole he had made, prepared to leap through it and pursue the two figures who were making away with Kakashi.

"Get back here!" He yelled, "I won't let you take Kakashi-sensei!"

At that moment, a firm hand landed on his shoulder. Naruto blinked at the familiar weight and turned around sharply. Behind him stood Hatake Kakashi, solid and  _not_ being kidnapped by two rebel jonin.

Behind  _him_ stood a small group of civilians, curiously looking into the ruined teahouse.

"Maa, Konoha's Number One Unpredictable Ninja strikes again," Kakashi sighed, patting his student's shoulder, "well I suppose I should have made the plan more clear, since it was obvious that you were being distracted by your heat rash."

"…plan?" Naruto blinked, "that was a…"

"They were going to take 'me' to their hideout," his sensei explained patiently, "and we were going to follow them there."

"Oh."

"Although I suppose that's no longer possible, seeing as they just escaped in the commotion you made."

"You look surprisingly not worried, Kashi-sensei," Naruto observed. Seeing that the Copy-Nin's mission record was almost impeccable, he had expected him to be a little more….

Without missing a beat, his sensei patted the pocket of the flak jacket he wore underneath the brown desert robes, and Naruto heard the crinkle of paper. "They had a map with them when I first came in," he explained, "I figured I'd just take it in case any loyal students of mine decided to run in to my rescue."

"Aha…sorry," Naruto managed. He couldn't help it; it was an inbuilt response. After all, he was the student of the one shinobi who was known for  _never_ letting his teammates die.

"I looked over it while you were busy trying to rescue me, and they've marked the hideout. We'll just collect Sakura and Sai and head straight there," his sensei finished. He then looked back at the group of people who were eyeing them curiously, "alright, we should go before we attract any more attention-"

"My shop!"

Naruto jumped a foot in the air at the shrill voice behind him. He turned to see a middle-aged man rush forward out of the crowd, regarding the ruined building in absolute horror.

"Er, sorry about that-" He tried.

"I leave for two minutes and  _this_ is what happens?! I'm going to report you two to Kazekage-sama!" The man went on yelling, "and-"

Kakashi pulled Naruto behind him as he ran.

* * *

Two hours later, they were standing in front of a destructed hideout in River Country, watching plumes of smoke emerge from the top. A stream of four  _loyal_ Suna jonin entered the hideout, and some of them came out carrying the rogues who were still alive, presumably to take them to questioning. Above them, the sun was just beginning to lose the bulk of its intensity, and Naruto no longer wanted to drown himself in ice water. Instead, he hopped on one foot while shaking pebbles out of his shoe.

"That's done, then," Kakashi stated, eyeing their handiwork appreciatively. He turned to Sakura and Sai, "you two did well catching the messenger. I was worried about having to split apart, but you seemed to handle yourselves."

Sakura brightened with the praise, "we did what we could, sensei."

"Indeed, he was only an C-rank jonin at most," Sai added, "and Suna's standards for jonin seem to be lower than those in Konoha." He looked across at the shinobi exiting the ruined hideout.

It seemed that they had finished retrieving all the rebels for questioning. It had been important that the ones taking them out were not Suna nin, since that could escalate into political misunderstandings. There was also the fact that their leader was rather strong. Suna was the youngest of the Five Countries, and so it didn't have too many strong legacies.

"Mou, don't let Gaara hear you say that," Kakashi smiled under his mask, "he's done very well helping this country grow; it's shinobi force has gone up by almost forty percent since he became Kazekage."

"Suna's awesome," Naruto agreed firmly, "the fact that these people can survive the heat is evidence enough that they're strong."

" _Your_ standards are even lower, Naruto," Sakura muttered. She turned back to the masked jonin, "how did it go on your end, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi reached up to rub the back of his head sheepishly, "it went…smoothly."

* * *

 

That evening, the four members of Team Kakashi were gathered in the Kazekage's office. They were all still dressed in their desert robes apart from Sai, who was sporting some interesting tan lines across his stomach that were revealed whenever he lifted his arms. Kakashi had his small green book in his hand, which he had read and re-read at least twenty times since Naruto had returned from his training with it. Gaara sat behind the desk, fingers steepled beneath his chin.

"Mission completed, Gaara," Kakashi reported casually. He reached into his jonin flak jacket and pulled out the scroll, tossing it onto the desk, "this was the location of their hideout, in case you need it for the report." Mission finished, he delved back into his book, allowing his students to take care of the rest of the diplomacies.

"Good." Gaara pulled open a drawer under his desk and dropped the scroll into it, "it was necessary to call help from you since these rebels consisted of a few of our own jonin. Konoha has not disappointed us."

"Of course not!" Naruto grinned, "anytime, Gaara!"

Sakura stepped on his foot, "idiot, you have to treat him as the Kazekage while he's in this office," she hissed.

"You didn't do anything when Kashi-sensei said it," he mumbled back, rubbing his toe.

"She seems to enjoy harming you more, dickless," Sai added helpfully.

Naruto fumed silently over Sai's continued use of his nickname while his masculinity went ahead and dropped by thirty percent. Unfortunately, it seemed that even Sakura had gotten used to it. It seemed that he would be 'dickless' for a long while to come.

Gaara cleared his throat, "nevertheless, there are a few other things that should be taken care of before you leave. Firstly, there is a rather disgruntled civilian who is charging you both for major property damage, Naruto, Kakashi-san."

Sakura raised an eyebrow, "what does he mean, sensei? You didn't destroy any property…"

Kakashi sighed and looked up from the enticing scene on page ninety-four, "it happened while you and Sai were away taking care of the messengers," he explained.

"Sensei!" Sakura said, slightly shocked, "how could you let that happen?" She ran a distressed hair though her pink hair. Unlike the rest of her teammates, she had spent quite a long time working with their current Hokage. As such, she knew the repercussions for a shinobi being charged in a foreign country.

"It wasn't my jutsu anyway!" Naruto huffed, "it was that Suna kunoichi's doton jutsu! I only broke a few tables, I swear!"

At this point, that wasn't very reassuring news.

"Well, most of the rebels are either dead or arrested, so there's no way to know," Gaara replied, "on the other hand, there are around twenty civilians who claim to have seen a boy wearing orange and a grey-haired man both with Konoha forehead protectors come out of a ruined teahouse."

"I'd like to add that I had nothing to do with the actual collapse," Kakashi put in smoothly.

"Then why did you not stop dickless from causing it?" Sai asked. He struggled to keep his hands away from itching the heat rashes over his exposed middle, and was starting to question the wisdom of his attire.

The masked jonin shrugged, "I was busy looking over the maps. If they hadn't revealed anything, I would have taken out the two nin from behind while they were distracted."

"So what's going to happen?" Sakura turned to Gaara and bit her lip nervously.

The red-haired boy looked on calmly, "the civilian man submitted his charges a few hours ago. Baki was the one who responded to his requests for an audience, and as a council member, he has the right to make decisions like this."

Naruto waited impatiently for their verdict.

"He was lenient," Gaara went on, "he knows about our strengthening alliance, and has decided that the shinobi charged need only pay for the rebuilding of the man's business."

"Oh?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "how much is it?" His head swam with memories of being an exemplary shinobi and refusing pay whenever the clients weren't very rich. He lived in a one-room apartment, after all. Money was not something he generally cared for.

"Fifteen million ryo," Gaara informed them.

There was silence for a while.

"Wow," Sakura commented, "that's almost as much as my parents' house is worth."

"It's a good fifth of the bounty on my head," Kakashi added.

"Fifteen million?" Naruto lamented, "Ero-Sennin takes all my money! Gama-chan is starving himself to death, and you want  _fifteen million_?" He drew out the small green frog-purse from underneath his cloak and shook it upside down over the desk. A pitiful five hundred ryo spilled out, and Naruto felt like bursting into tears.

"That's not even enough to buy dinner," Sai put in, "maybe you could sell your apartment."

"Even  _that_  wouldn't make up for it," the blond boy mumbled, "why don't we go trade sensei in for his bounty, and use that to pay?" He suggested half-heartedly.

"Maa, don't I get a say in this?"

"Nope. Come on Sakura-chan, let's go for his head."

Kakashi sighed in mock sadness, "and after you so valiantly went in to rescue me, too."

His blond student huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, "sorry, but this is my financial future we're talking about. Some sacrifices have to be made, sensei."

Gaara looked over each member of the Konoha team they had sent for. The pale boy he had never met before had a bland smile on his face. Sakura looked like she wanted to strangle someone. Naruto had now given up his worryingly semi-serious attempt to collect his sensei's bounty, and was hopelessly trying to spill more non-existent money out of his frog-thing.

He sighed. "if you cannot pay for his inconvenience, you will have to spend time in prison as punishment. I will use my influence to bring it down to two weeks instead of the month that is usually given for these offenses, but Suna cannot be seen allowing such things to go unpunished."

Sakura nodded sadly in understanding. She understood that since he was such a young kage, some regarded him as soft. Of course, the truth was far from that, but he could not be seen allowing them to leave unscathed.

"Of course, I'm aware that you could escape," Gaara went on, "but I would ask you not to. Tsunade-sama may be very agreeable to our alliance, but some of my council is still hesitant, and they may see it as an act of aggression."

"We understand," Sakura spoke up for her teammates, "will it be alright for us to remain here as well?" She gestured to herself and Sai, "we can't go back without the rest of our team."

"That is permissible," Gaara nodded, "you may choose any inn you wish, Suna will add it to mission expenses."

"Why can't they add our debt to mission expenses?" Naruto whined.

"Because destroying that poor man's business was not part of your mission," the Kazekage stated matter-of-factly, "I am sorry, Naruto. Suna's prisons are not as ideal as those in Konoha, but I'm confident that you'll both be fine."

"Stupid politics," Naruto muttered. His eyes lit up suddenly as he had an idea. He turned to look into his Kakashi's revealed eye. "Sensei, we don't need to worry, right? Tsunade baa-chan is the Hokage, so she'll pay for us, right? She's got lots of money cause of her work, right? And we can go back to Konoha and focus on finding Sasuke, right?"

Sakura sighed in defeat.

The masked jonin didn't reply. He instead took great interest in an old sculpture of the Shodai Kazekage, which was balanced in the corner of the office, before burying his nose back into the comforting pages of Icha Icha Violence.

"Right, sensei? Right?" Naruto pushed.

Kakashi looked up and turned to Gaara. "Tsunade-sama is…not very good with money," he admitted stiffly, "if you could put us in the same cell, that would be nice."


	2. Under Sensei's Mask

**Chapter 2 – Under Sensei's Mask**

"Alright, take off that orange monstrosity and we can start," a guard said gruffly. He looked rather unimpressed at the boy standing in front of him wearing a color that should've been made illegal in the drab village of Sunagakure. The kid stood out like a sore thumb; if it weren't for the forehead protector, he would've thought he was some travelling performer.

Naruto blinked. He took a large step backwards, away from the two men in Suna flak jackets. They were tall, very tall. It seemed that there was some kind of minimum height requirement of everyone who worked in the area, because he felt like a six year old around them.

They had brought him to the front room of the large shinobi prison. It was a rather drab area, filled with equally drab jonin who had evidently chosen the short straws of their careers. Nevertheless, Gaara had assured him that they were very capable, and that if he attempted to break the no-chakra rules they would hunt him down and put him somewhere far less agreeable.

The second guard sighed and walked over to him. Naruto pressed himself back against the stone wall of the room, refusing to relinquish his precious jumpsuit as he tangled his arms into the orange cloth.

"You can't take it!" He yelled, "Ero-Sennin gave this to me!"

"You'd think a present from someone he calls 'Ero-Sennin' wouldn't mean all that much," the jonin commented, slightly amused. He held one arm out, and there was grey cloth draped over it. Naruto recognized it as the prison uniform he would be wearing. It looked horribly scratchy. He decided to inform Gaara that Suna needed to invest more money in these things.

"You'll get it back when you leave," the first guard replied, "now strip."

Oh. Well, that was ok. As long as they weren't gone permanently. Naruto slowly untangled his limbs from around himself and pulled off the orange jacket. Once it was off, he lovingly folded it into a neat square and set it aside, ignoring the guard's patronizing glances. He did the same with his pants, and then with the mesh undershirt. Finally, he stood in his orange, polka dotted underwear, not cold at all due to the evening heat that permeated even the stone walls of the room.

The guards watched him expectantly.

"What?" Naruto asked, annoyed, "you're going to give me a prison uniform, right? Hand it over," he held his hand out, eyeing the grey cloth in the second guard's hand. It didn't look nearly as comfortable as his jumpsuit, but he supposed he could survive for two weeks.

"Sorry kid," the man told him, "you're gonna have to learn how to go commando here. Don't worry, these are nice, soft pants."

"What?" The blond boy reached down to gather the folded clothes on the floor and hugged them to his chest, slightly mortified, "why? Don't I even get prison-underwear?"

"Nope. It's to prevent you from escaping," the guard replied, scratching the back of his head in amusement.

"What does that have to do with my underwear?!"

"Well if you do escape, you'll freeze in the night before you can get anywhere," he explained, "and then we can find you and drag you back. And maybe if you're lucky we'll toss you to the medics to see if you'll ever be able to pass on your genes."

"That's silly," Naruto grumbled, "how am I going to freeze? It's like an oven out there!" Nevertheless, he told himself that Gaara was counting on him not making any trouble, and set the folded orange clothes aside once again. He took one last, mournful look at his crotch and then hooked his fingers into the waist of his boxers. Before pulling them down, he glared back up at the guards.

"Turn around and leave the pants on the ground," he instructed, trying to sound stern. Somehow it didn't work. It could have been because the guards literally towered over him.

"What are you, five?" One of the jonin grumbled, "you've got nothing we haven't seen before, kid. We have to make sure you aren't hiding anything in there."

"Well clearly he's hiding  _something_ ," the other one snickered.

Naruto reddened furiously, "I'm not trying to hide! I just like my privacy!" He inched the boxers down further, torn between protecting his dignity and…well…protecting his dignity. "Fine!" He finally spat out, pushing his boxers down and allowing the underwear to pool around his ankles. He stood with his hands on his hips, in all his naked glory.

The guards looked completely unimpressed.

"Yeah," one of them drawled, "nothing we haven't seen before."

"Above average at best," the other one added helpfully. He threw the grey clothing at him, "dress up, kid. Your cellmate is waiting for you."

"Don't know why he got to choose the guy," the first one mumbled, "I would've loved to put this kid in with the lifers. That could've been interesting." There hadn't been a prisoner this young in a long while.

"Gaara wouldn't do that to me, he's my friend," Naruto retorted. He reached down to gather the clothes on the floor, identifying the loose grey pants. He slipped his legs into them and tied the strings around his waist, wincing at the strange feeling of being exposed to the elements.

"Kazekage-sama is your friend? Yeah, and I'm his lover," the second jonin drawled.

"It's true! I saved his life!" Naruto protested while pulling on the shirt.

"Of course you did," the guards went to the other side of the room and pushed open the door. It revealed a long corridor, presumably leading to the cells. Naruto gulped and followed them in.

When imagining prisons, Naruto had always thought of dark, gloomy lighting and unforgiving odors. The prisons of Suna were rather different. As they stalked down hall over a floor littered with sand, the entire area was strangely clear. Light came down from windows on one side, casting dim shadows as they walked. There wasn't a single person in sight all around, and most of the cells they passed were empty.

"So why aren't there any prisoners?" he questioned, looking up at the back of the guards' heads.

"There are," the first one replied, "Kazekage-sama requested that you're put in a new block."

Naruto grinned widely. "See? I told you Gaara was my friend."

"You and your cellmate are high-riskers. It's more likely he doesn't want you being too close to the other prisoners if you try to escape," the other one told him, glancing back with annoyed green eyes, "too bad. You won't get to make any new friends."

"I don't need to make friends in a stupid prison," Naruto huffed, "I've got Kakashi-sensei to keep me company."

"One-eighty-four? Yeah, we heard of that one, he came in a few hours earlier than you. Not very talkative. Won't be great company. Plus, the guards almost tried to kill him. On his first day, too."

"Yeah, that one will be a bit troublesome, from what I've heard."

Naruto stopped walking, and gave them incredulous looks. They both turned around, raising they eyebrows. "Get moving. We don't have time to chat."

"Why did they try to kill Kakashi-sensei?" He asked, his voice low. He trusted Gaara, but if these people were going to pose any danger to them…

The first guard shrugged, "don't know. Ask him yourself, if you're such great buddies."

Naruto felt inklings of worry rise up. Kakashi wasn't the type to provoke anyone, so why would they try to harm him? Was he carrying something on his person?...no, all he had was his clothing, weapons, and his ecchi book. He would just have to drag the truth out of the man himself.

"We're here," a gruff voice reported. Naruto looked up to see that they had stopped in front of a grey door. The guard reached into his flak jacket and withdrew a key, inserting it into the lock and pushing the door open. Naruto peered in to see a large room. Halfway in, there were long metal bars that came down from the ceiling, and there was another door that allowed access into this barred area. It seemed that this was set up so that the guards did not have to actually enter the same area as the prisoners while they delivered food.

The barred side of the room had a single window on the far wall, which brought in the only beams of light. Within the barred area, there was a door to one side that probably led to a small washroom. On the sandy floor were two, rough, Suna-style beds with thin sheets, set up against the walls with a few steps of walking-space between them. The bed on the left was already occupied by a grey clothed figure.

Naruto felt relieved upon the sight of his sensei, although for some reason, he had been allowed to keep Icha Icha Violence. The grey-haired man held the book up over his face, literally only centimeters from his eyes. It was a mystery how he could actually read it like that.

The first guard walked over to the bars and took out another key, inserting it into a lock on a metal door to one side. Kakashi peered up over his book as the door swung open, and his blond student was pushed in.

"Have fun," the guard told him, watching as Naruto stumbled over to fall ungracefully onto the bed, "bathroom breaks for male prisoners are at six tomorrow morning, you'll get something to eat at eight."

With that, the jonin turned and left, shutting both the doors behind them. Naruto walked up to grip the bars, looking across the room mournfully. He sighed. Tsunade baa-chan was going to pummel him when he got back to Konoha. All he wanted to do was see Sakura-chan and ask her how to best suck up to the slug sannin. Maybe he'd start by calling her 'nee-chan'…no, that would never work.

Kakashi watched the back of his student's grey shirt amusedly. "Visiting hours are four to five in the evening," he spoke up, as if reading his mind, "Sakura and Sai will both be here every day, starting tomorrow."

"That's so far away!" Naruto wailed, "Sakura-chan and Sai get to stay in some luxury inn with all expenses paid and  _we_ get to roast! I swear I'm going to be permanently red by the time I get back to Konoha. And then I'll have to use Sakura-chan's makeup-stuff all over me to look normal again!"

"Sakura doesn't wear makeup," Kakashi informed him, lounging on the bed with his back to the wall, "it's impractical for shinobi, unless you're at Kurenai's level."

Naruto paused, and turned around. "So she's just that pretty naturally?"

Kakashi sighed. He still held his book over the lower half of his face, and peered out over it. They had taken away their hitai ite, so his Sharingan eye was closed, revealing the pink scar that ran down his eyelid. "If you say so. But don't tell her that. Tsunade-sama worked hard getting her to be more practical while you were away, and she's becoming a fine kunoichi. The last thing you want to do is get her interested in those things again."

"Sakura was always perfect!" Naruto retorted, "you just didn't see it at first." He walked away from the bars to sit on the edge of his bed, and looked across at the lone window providing a pitiful amount of evening light. He remembered what the guards had said, and turned back sharply. "Kakashi-sensei, why did those guards try to kill you?"

Kakashi remained silent, book still held up. Suddenly. Naruto realized that he was able to see a hint of skin underneath the green cover, and his eyes widened.

"No way!" he exclaimed, leaving his bed to crawl up next to his sensei's, "they took off your mask?" He peered curiously at the book, willing it to move aside and allow him to catch a glace of Hatake Kakashi's elusive face. The wooden structure creaked under his added weight, but he paid it no heed.

The normally-masked jonin drew back, shuffling farther against the wall, and threw his student a peeved look over the book, "yes they did. I don't want to cause any trouble for Gaara, so I went along with it."

"And did you hit them for trying? Why did they attack you?"

"I did nothing to provoke them. I just…forgot to take something into account."

"What?" Naruto asked leaning closer. He placed his hands on the other man's knees, trying to look over the top of the book. "What did you forget?"

"Nothing you need to know."

Within a second, his arm shot out and grabbed Naruto's shoulder. He pushed the boy face-down onto the sheets, and it happened so quickly that Naruto didn't have time to react. Before he knew it, his mouth was filled with the slightly sour taste of a long unwashed pillow. When he tried to move, he felt a weight settle onto his back.

Kakashi was sitting on him. He would never be able to see the man's face from this position.

Naruto spat out the pillow and turned his head to one side, trying to strain his head upwards. But it was no use, because his sensei was facing the other way. "No fair," he whined, "two random guards got to see you and I, your favorite student, can't?"

"Sai is my favorite student," Kakashi said, half-jokingly, "he's quiet and doesn't make any trouble."

"He's not even your student," Naruto retorted.

"I'd like to think I assisted somewhat in teaching him how to act normal," the jonin replied.

There were a few seconds of silence as Naruto pondered that, and waited for his sensei to move.

After two minutes, the weight was still firmly on his back.

"Sensei?"

"Hmm?"

"How long as you going to sit on me?"

The answer didn't come, but he already guessed it. He was stuck like this until the faint light streaming in gave way to the night, and it was too dark to see anything. Great.

"Sensei, you're heavy," Naruto commented, "have you been eating too much?" Kakashi's form was indeed heavy against his frame, and the jonin sat with his feet balanced against the backs of Naruto's shins, preventing him from kicking out.

His question was met with silence.

"Sakura-chan says that eating too much rice can make you squishy," he tried. When the reply was silence once again, he managed to maneuver one finger to poke at the back of the man's tight. When the digit was completely unable to sink in very far, he sighed. If Hatake Kakashi was squishy, then Shikamaru was a drooling idiot. The jonin simply shifted onto his upper back, away from the reach of his student's hands.

Naruto pouted in annoyance and wrinkled his nose at the weird unwashed smell emanating from the pillow his face was pressed against. He was perfectly aware that his sensei was a private man who didn't actually spend much time around other people, but was a little bit of conversation to stave off boredom too much to ask for? Was this was they were going to be doing for the next two weeks? Kakashi reading his book in silence, calmly perched on his student's back to prevent the revealing of his face?

"Naruto," he finally spoke up, "put some of the sand below your sheets before you sleep tonight."

The blond boy strained to peer at the back of his sensei's grey-haired head, "eh? Why would I do that? I was planning to just sleep on the ground, it's too hot."

"Ah, you don't know…" Kakashi trailed, "Suna is very cold at night.  _Very_ cold."

"What?" Naruto yelled, slightly exasperated, "so we get to toast in the day and freeze in the night? What kind of weather is this?"

"Welcome to the desert," Kakashi said dryly. There was the sound of a rustle as he turned his page.

"Damn you, Wind Country!" Naruto yelled out.

At that moment, the outer door of the cell swung open. Naruto turned his head sideways against the pillow and peered out, trying to see as a guard entered and left two metal tumblers of water on the ground. After setting them down with a clang, he looked up and was met with the strange sight of grey-haired man sitting on a blond boy's back, with the thin sheet of the bed in disarray.

He turned to Kakashi and raised an eyebrow, "you've got 'major property damage', I think. Wanna add sexual harassment to those charges?"

"Don't mind us," Kakashi said lightly, shielding his face with the book, "this is how we Konoha shinobi give massages. Feels great, right Naru-kun?"

"Uh…yeah," Naruto managed to say.

The guard shook his head, muttered something about foreign weirdos, and left with the empty tray. Kakashi looked across at the water, and then at the back of Naruto's blond head below him.

"Sensei, what did he leave us?" Naruto asked.

"Just water," he replied, "dinner was an hour ago, so our first meal here will be breakfast."

"…am I going to get any water?" Naruto asked hopefully. He waited as the jonin considered it in silence. Then he coughed a few times to demonstrate how parched his throat was.

Finally, Kakashi sighed and stood up, allowing him to move. Naruto rushed to take the newfound freedom and stumbled off the bed, catching himself before he bumped his head on the edge. He followed his sensei to the bars, and grabbed one of the tumblers that had been set aside. He took a sip of the water and winced at the questionably metallic taste.

"Oh, it's warm," Naruto observed, slightly disappointed. It wasn't nearly as hot as it had been during the day, but he'd been looking forward to a nice, cold glass of water. Nevertheless, he gulped it down in seconds. He then turned to watch Kakashi sip at his own water, carefully shielding his face with the book.

It was at this point that Naruto noticed that all that time lying down had given him slight chafing.

"Sensei?"

"Hmm?"

"Did they take away your underwear too?"

Kakashi spit out his water.

* * *

 

A few kilometers away from the prison, Haruno Sakura and former root operative Sai stood outside a rather questionable establishment. It wasn't exactly run-down. Indeed it was a perfectly fine looking building, made of the same stucco that Suna architects preferred. The dim light of late evening cast shadows over it, and since it was located a little father away from the main town, they had had to walk for quite a while.

Hung over the door, however, was a single word that Sakura had seen almost every day for the past two years. It was the word that Tsunade-sama wore on the back of her green haori.

Unlike their less fortunate teammates, the two of them had spent the evening being pampered in the finest residences that Suna had to offer, and had eaten a large feast for dinner. Freshly showered and cleaned up, they had decided to begin planning on how to help Naruto find at least part of the money.

"Sakura-san, are you sure about this?" Sai asked. His typical bland smile was still pasted on his face, but his eyes conveyed slight worry.

"How hard could it be?" She asked smoothly, "it's not particularly fancy, but still well-established. It's just filled with a bunch of big, manly men who probably got their money in shady ways, so it's perfectly fine to cheat them out of it. And maybe step on their masculinity while I'm at it. That's always fun."

"But will you be able to earn fifteen million ryo like this?" Sai pondered.

"Well, no," she relented, "but if I can get even one million, then we can go back to Konoha a day early. That means that I'll have to make at least one hundred thousand ryo every day."

"One hundred thousand ryo…" Sai looked up at the gambling house, and then across at the street, which was completely empty. He pulled at the neck of his rough outer cloak, "what must I do, Sakura-san?"

"Stay quiet and watch me," Sakura said evenly. She then pulled off the rough desert cloak and folded it over her arm, revealing her kunoichi outfit.

"But. Sakura-san, we don't have any money to gamble with," Sai protested. He was cut off as she pushed open the door of the gambling house and stepped inside.

Almost immediately, every eye in the room was on them.

It was quite a bit larger on the inside than on the outside. To the right was a long counter, behind which stood a man carrying bottles of shochu. Behind him, the wall was covered in shelves of similar bottles. The rest of the room was filled with tables, where men were playing cards, fingering coins, and simply yelling at each other. Upon seeing the pink-haired kunoichi and the rather thin pale boy, all conversation died down.

Sakura looked around, noting the card games they were playing, and the piles of money they were betting. She hadn't actually learned how to play any of those games, but that was fine. She had something different in mind.

"Alright," she yelled out to the stunned men, "who thinks they can beat me in an arm wrestle? More importantly, who's willing to put money on it?"

One hour later, Haruno Sakura was sitting at a low table in the centre of the room. A pink flush stained her cheeks, and her small, manicured hand had just upturned the much larger, sweaty hand of a man twice her age. Sai sat gingerly behind her collecting her winnings in his cloak, and a small crowd was gathered around them. It wasn't every day that they were defeated in arm wrestling by a little girl.

The man sitting across from her looked forlornly at his hand, the back of which had been slammed into the table hard enough to bruise. His shochu-addled brain took a while to process what had happened. Once processed, he looked up with a lopsided grin, "hey, you're good. Oi Kuroda! Come try out this little spitfire!" he hollered to the side.

"I need to prepare!" The man, Kuroda, yelled back jokingly, "she'll break my arm at the rate she's going!"

The entire area burst into laughter, and watched in anticipation as she reached across the table to gather her winnings, flinging half of it off the table in the process. Sai patiently reached over to gather the rest and pool it into his cloak.

"Whoeve' came up wit' the 'drink if you win rule'," Sakura slurred, "is a damn genius." She reached for the cup of shochu lying by the table and shot it down in one swallow.

Sai watched her worriedly, "Sakura-san, you're face is turning red. According to my book on social norms, this indicates that you have consumed too much. I don't think they are diluting it like they are supposed to, either."

"She can handle it, yeah," a voice from the crowd responded, "this lil' girl doesn't need any water in her drink!" The crowd clapped and roared with laughter.

"Yeah," the pink haired girl drawled, "shishou is always saying I'm a lightweigh'. I gotta prove her wrong,"

"There ya go," one of the men said approvingly, "you're an interesting one, all right. You drink up too, pretty boy!"

Sai looked distinctly uncomfortable, "I'd like to refrain…you could take all the money she's earned if I'm not clear-headed enough to keep an eye on it."

"That's the damn point!" Another yelled out jokingly. The entire area burst into laughter again.

Sakura merely flexed her arm with its deceptively thin muscles and looked out at the crowd, "next!"

The man who had been pointed out earlier, Kuroda, stepped out. He was a rather tall man, dressed in the same rough cloak that shielded him against the desert, and his brown hair was cropped distinctively close to his head. He didn't look especially strong, but his arms were lean. He seated himself opposite her on the table and put one arm out.

"I'm ready now. I'm betting fifty thousand ryo," he said confidently.

The entire room stilled. So far, the highest bet had only been ten thousand, and the poor man had left in tears telling whoever would listen that his wife was going to have his head for it. Sakura had already won a good sixty from dozens of challenges, and this would put her well above the goal for the day.

She grinned widely, and her cheeks flushed even redder, "gotcha. You better have a drink prepared for me, cause I can totally take you," she told him.

"Oh but we haven't decided what  _I_ want," the man replied. The crowd burst into whistles, and Sai wondered if he should take the initiative and drag his teammate out before something happened to her. But he figured that even while drunk, there wasn't a civilian alive who could beat her in a test of strength.

"What do you want?" Sakura asked, annoyed, "are my winnings so far not enough for you?"

"You can keep those, girl," the man replied, "I'll just need you to answer a question for me."

"Fine, whatever. Let's go," she thrust her arm out expectantly.

The man smirked and took her hand in his slightly larger one, balancing his elbow against the table. Nearby, the man who served drinks – one of the only ones still sober – raised his arm. "Go!" He brought it down sharply.

Sai watched tiredly, expecting his teammate to have the other person's hand crushed into the table within seconds. He blinked.

When he opened his eyes, the other man, Kuroda, had upturned Sakura's hand. He held his own proudly over it, reveling in her confused expression. The crowd was filled with mumbles over what had happened, because evidently no one had been quick enough to actually see what had happened.

"Woah," Sakura said carefully, mind still dizzy with shochu. Something tingled in her head, as if in warning, but she couldn't bring her addled brain to acknowledge it. She slipped her hand out of the other man's and brought it in front of her face, trying to stop seeing double so that she could examine exactly why it had failed her.

"Woah is right," Kuroda leaned back, amused, "you're good, kid, but not as good as me."

"Sakura-san," Sai whispered behind her, "we should go."

"Answer his question!" A voice from the crowd yelled. A steady cheer of 'Answer! Answer!" rose up among them.

"But first, you have to drink!" Another man yelled out, "drink if you lose!"

Sakura considered it. There had been something that she had been thinking about, but now it was gone. It was gone like water between her fingers. And not particularly thick water either. Too bad. She looked up at the man who had said it, "drink if you win…and drink if you lose?"

"Yeah!" The crowd cheered.

She paused to think. "That's…that's…awesome!" She decided happily, reaching for the next cup of shochu and downing it in one. Behind her, Sai silently groaned.

"Here's my question," Kuroda asked once she had set the cup down. He leaned forward onto the table, "where's Hatake Sakumo?"

Sakura tilted her head to one side, "tha's easy…he's in prison! With the baka!" She exclaimed, as if she had suddenly been enlightened.

"His name isn't Sakumo," Sai whispered to her, "if you're forgetting even that, maybe we should really go."

"He's some Hatake, isn't he?" Sakura slurred quietly, "tha's good enough." She nodded towards the brown-haired man, who was leaning back, satisfied with the answer.

Suddenly, another man approached the table from where he had been observing silently from the corner. "Listen," the man – the owner – told her, "you're taking away all the business. I think I need to ask you to leave."

"But we're just making money to help our friends!" She exclaimed drunkenly, "right Sai? Right? Right? Rig-" she seemed to forget what she was saying, and continued to stare at him with a confused expression.

The pale boy took one look at her flushed face, the faces of the small crowd, and the angry look in the owner's eyes. With that, he grabbed the cloak with the money in one hand, Sakura's arm in the other, and ran out as fast he could go.

* * *

 

The next morning, Naruto woke up with clattering teeth. It wasn't exactly cold at that moment, but it had evidently been freezing during the night, because every hair on his body stood on end. He slowly shifted under the sheets and groaned when he realized that the sand he had added to his bedding the previous night had migrated to some interesting places.

"Ah, you're awake," a voice from across the room observed.

"I don't want to be," Naruto retorted, burying his head farther into his pillow.

"Why not?"

"My goosebumps have goosebumps!"

"Ah, good point." Naruto heard shuffling as his sensei approached his bed. "But they'll be here to take us to the showers soon."

"I don't care," the blond boy mumbled into the sheets. He only wanted to lay there until some warmth crept into his legs.

"…I gave up covering my face," Kakashi said lightly, "you would see it eventually anyway."

At that, Naruto sprung up from his bed, blond hair sticking up wildly. He looked around until they landed on the face of the person standing over him.

His eyes widened when he realized that the book was indeed away from his sensei's face, and instead dangling in one hand. The morning light streaming through the window was more than sufficient to make out every feature of Hatake Kakashi's face. Naruto's eyes roamed around it, memorizing every smooth angle from the surprisingly delicate jawline to the scarred eye.

Kakashi didn't have the rugged good looks of Asuma, or the striking features that Naruto would never admit that he thought Sasuke had, but his looks fit him well. They were slightly plain but delicate, matching his lazy persona perfectly. Naruto couldn't help but think that Ayame-chan's little crush on him after that day she had seen his face had been rational after all. It was a crime to all women to hide a face like that.

"Woah," he breathed, "so I'm the only one in Konoha who's ever…"

"No, Gai has seen me like this," Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Without his mask, his varied expressions flitted openly across his face, and it was strange to see, "he walked in on me in the shower after I was injured on an anbu mission. Although I'm not sure if he remembers. He seemed to be focused on other things."

"Other things?" Naruto asked, slightly confused.

"Other things," Kakashi confirmed vaguely, "get up. I hear the guard coming."

Naruto swung his legs off the bed, still a little struck from the fact that he had finally seen his sensei's elusive face. Sakura-chan was going to be so jealous. He couldn't help but continue to look from the corner of his vision. Kakashi seemed amused, but his expression suddenly turned grim.

"Naruto, there's something that I should probably inform you off before we go to the showers," the jonin told him quietly, "this is a shinobi prison that works with no-chakra rules, but some people out there maybe be…tempted when they see me. I'd prefer it if you pretended not to know me."

Naruto tilted his head to one side, "why?"

"Because I'm not going to make trouble for Gaara by using chakra to fight, and I don't want to have to watch you as well," he said sternly, "you don't know me, alright?"

For some silly reason, those words were slightly painful to hear. Nevertheless, his student nodded firmly.

The footsteps outside grew closer until the guard finally opened the door. This one was one of the jonin who had brought Naruto to the cell, and he smirked slightly upon spotting the boy.

"Oh look," he remarked, "it's you. Have a good night?" He unlocked the door of the bars, allowing them to step out of the cell.

"It was fantastic," Naruto deadpanned, "my toes and other bits really needed that solid freeze." Kakashi left his Icha Icha Violence – his only shield – on the bed in the cell and walked behind him as they followed the guard out the door and into the hall. If he had to choose between getting beaten and getting his book wet, the choice was really quite obvious.

"Yeah, you freeze up real good in these cells, since they're on the outside. That's partly why no one uses them. I guess your friend Gaara doesn't care much about your virility cause soon, you could be below average."

Naruto stilled, absolutely mortified at what he was hearing. He turned to the guard slowly, "the cold…can  _do_ that? Permanently?"

The guard nodded vigorously, mirth painted over his face for anyone with two brain cells to see.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto wailed, "we can't stay here! I'll never be able to go to the onsen ever again!  _Especially_ if Shino is there!"

Kakashi sighed and gripped his arm, pulling him along as they continued to follow the jonin-guard, "he's joking, Naruto. I'm sure you'll be just as…er…average as before. You really are too gullible…"

Naruto turned to shoot one of his most potent glares at the back of the guard's head. The man simply chucked, laughter echoing through the halls along with the sound of their footsteps.

They soon exited the empty cellblock and made their way into the central area. The rooms were now lit with small ceilings lights instead of sunlight, and they began to see and hear some sign of life. Other guards led their own prisoners out of the central hallways and towards the main area, which consisted of a mess hall where the prisoners would eat dinner, which, unlike lunch and breakfast, wasn't brought to their cells. Naruto supposed it was to encourage the prisoners to have social lives so that they wouldn't be total loners when they were finally released. That was too bad, because he didn't plan on talking to anyone other than Kakashi if he could help it.

Kakashi kept his head down the entire time, and stared interestedly at the floor.

"These are the men's showers," the guard swung a door open, revealing a large room. The stucco walls were lined with shower stalls that didn't exactly have any curtains for privacy, and the centre of the room was filled with benches where the prisoners stripped. Naruto looked around worriedly, and realized exactly why the guards liked teasing him. There wasn't a single person who wasn't at least almost twice his age.

"We like to keep prisoners clean," he went on, "just to avoid the smell, you know? So go wash yourselves, and report your number when you come out so that another jonin-guard can take you to your cell. Don't think of escaping here, we're in the innermost section and you'll be found in no time."

"Right," Naruto nodded, "no making trouble for Gaara. Got it." He walked into the room, and Kakashi followed behind, reluctantly lifting his eyes from the floor. Behind them, the jonin-guard shut the door and left.

Some of the other prisoners had been looking at his light-grey hair curiously. After all, grey wasn't a common natural color in Suna. Suna had reds and blonds and dark browns, but never grays, unless you were really old. However when he lifted his head, a good quarter of the occupants of the room froze. Seeing that, the other three-quarters went ahead and froze as well. Every eye was suddenly trained on prisoner one-eighty-four.

"Um, sensei?" Naruto whispered, "why are they staring at you?"

Kakashi didn't answer. One of the men closest to them, wearing only his prison-uniform pants and showing off quite the muscular frame, stepped up and surveyed him.

"Yep," he stated gruffly, "that's you, alright. Looking kinda young there. Found a jutsu that extends your life? I wouldn't be surprised," the surveying look slowly turned into anger.

"It is?" Another voice called out, "yeah I thought I recognized that bastard. Seems fitting that he'd end up in Suna."

At this point, Naruto was getting slightly more worried. They were looking at his sensei with very distinct eyes. Eyes that blamed someone for something they didn't do. Eyes that wanted nothing more than to exact some sort of revenge. He knew this because he was already familiar with those eyes. But he couldn't figure out why they were being aimed towards his sensei instead of him.

"You'll pay," A man from the back of the benches left his seat and walked up, shirt thrown over his shoulder, "we'll get you good, this time. You're nothin' without your chakra."

A chorus of agreement rose up, and Naruto turned back to give his sensei a questioning look, but Kakashi was simply exuding his typical laziness. That, and figuring out a way to make it to the showers without being injured in the process.

"Sensei," he whispered harshly, "what is happening?"

"Who're you, kid?" The first man stepped up a few feet in front of them and gave him an angry glance, "get out of the way or you'll get hurt."

Naruto glared back with equal intensity. It seemed that they were serious about hurting him. "I'm his student," he replied firmly, "and if you want to fight him, then you'll have to deal with me too!"

Kakashi sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading chapters from ffn...wow this takes a while. Hope you like it ^_^  
> Note: I don't give lemon warnings, because those are spoilers.


	3. The Unfair Look

**Chapter 3 – That Unfair Look**

Kakashi defended himself from a punch and watched his student smash a fist into a man's face. He reached out to draw the boy back by his shoulder.

"Anyone else got something against sensei?!" Naruto yelled out, leaving another prisoner with a broken nose.

"Yeah!" A chorus of half-naked men cried out.

"You idiots wanna fight?!"

"Yeah!"

His sensei's stern hand fell on his shoulder, but he didn't care. If Kakashi was going to be attacked, then he'd be fighting with him. The jonin had protected him for most of his life as a shinobi, and he would gladly return the favor.

"Give up, kid," the second man who had recognized Kakashi told him, "it's no use protecting him. You'll tire out eventually, and we'd rather not hit children."

"You wanna say that again?!" The blond boy demanded, "I'm sixteen! I'm an adult in shinobi years!" He had a purpling bruise below his left eye and he had already taken some hits to the stomach, but he was a Jinchuuriki for a reason. These men were nothing. The group of prisoners about to go ahead and rush him stopped when they saw the door behind him open.

" _What_ is going on here?" A voice from behind them demanded. Naruto turned sharply to see a small group of Suna jonin file into the room. The one who stood at the head was their own guard, looking like he was ready to murder someone.

"These people have mistaken me for someone else," Kakashi explained patiently, waving a hand at the other men.

"Yeah right," the first guy who had attacked yelled out while holding his bleeding nose, "there's no way I'd ever forget that face!"

"Hatake Sakumo was my father," he explained as the guards watched in confusion. One of them walked up behind him and grabbed his shoulder.

"Well then, son. We're afraid you won't be cleaning up today," he said roughly. He turned to Naruto, "you too, boy. First day and you're already causing this much trouble…"

"They're high-riskers for a reason," another guard pointed out, eyeing Naruto as if he was a rabid wolf, "maybe we should separate them…"

Naruto stilled in horror.

"I'd love to," the first guard told him, "but these are Kazekage-sama's orders. I guess it's easier to watch them if they're both in one place."

"We're watching you," one of the prisoners yelled out, "father, son, who cares. We want Hatake blood and we'll get it. Or are you going to beg forgiveness for what your old man did?"

A sea of faces watched Kakashi expectantly. He reached up to run one hand through his grey-hair. He took his time in answering, but he didn't really need to think about the response. "No," he said firmly, "my father did what his village expected of him."

The faces grew angry again. Unattended showers caused steam to build up along the sides of the stucco walls lining the room, but the men didn't exactly care. Some of them were perfectly comfortable fighting in just their small waist-towels.

"He's just as bad!"

"Where's his cell? I'll get him, I tell you!"

"That kid, too! Said he's his student, right? Who here is his cell-partner?"

"All right, listen up," the jonin-guard in front of the group said loudly, looking over the angry prisoners. He jabbed Kakashi's back with one finger, "this man here's a high-risker. We're perfectly fine with you lot demonstrating what's left of your masculinity, but if he kills you, he'll get a few weeks in the inner cells and a few more years on his sentence.  _You'll_  get  _dead_."

"Could be worth it," one of them grumbled.

"…and if we catch you fighting again, you'll  _all_ get thrown in the inner cells," the guard went on, "so keep your hands off, got it?" He was a fairly young jonin-guard, and therefore had no idea who Kakashi looked like. He had probably only been a kid during the days of Konoha's White Fang.

"I appreciate that," Kakashi told the guard quietly as he and Naruto were led out of the room. The other guards remained behind to give the prisoner a good verbal lashing and a few warnings. He'd been rather worried about fighting; he knew he could have taken them, but coming out unscathed would have been a problem. The guard took them back into the central area, and through the mess hall.

"That warning was for you too," the jonin-guard replied roughly, "I see you starting any fights, and we'll have enough evidence for Kazekage-sama when we decide to separate you. And the kid'll get put in with a lifer, I swear," he shot Naruto a peeved look. Unlike Kakashi, the boy had been completely into the fight and looked like he had enjoyed every minute of it.

Naruto grinned, wincing slightly as the purple skin on the side of his face was pulled taunt with the expression, "I couldn't let sensei fight them alone," he informed him, "what kind of student would I be if I did?"

"A normal one," he replied, swinging open the door to the outer cells blocks.

"Jonin-san, what's your name?" Naruto asked him as he followed him in, "just so that we can…um…call you if any of the prisoners attack us again."

"Taji," he replied, "and just keep your heads down and stay out of sight. You're twice as much work as the other prisoners, and I really don't want to be stuck with you two if your sentence gets extended."

"We will, Taji oji-san!"

"Oi! I'm twenty-four!"

"Interesting career choice for a twenty-four-year-old," Kakashi commented, "bad luck?" Unlike Naruto, he hadn't gotten injured in the least.  _He_ hadn't rushed right into the fighting.

"Believe it or not, this pays better than taking missions here in Suna," Taji replied, "probably cause no one wants to do it." They continued down the corridors until they reached the outer room of the cells, and he quickly opened both doors and locked them back into their cell.

"When do we get food?" Naruto asked eagerly as the guard turned to leave.

"In an hour," came the reply, "but trust me, you won't actually want it." With that, he closed the outer door after him and left the two Konoha nin alone in the room.

* * *

 

Naruto soon learned that Kakashi's face was like a blank slate at time, able to easily morph into anything he wished. So although sometimes he could look like a paper-pusher, other times he resembled the skilled killer he really was. He also seemed to be completed unused to going around without his mask, which was evident in the way every thing he felt was revealed in his expressions. It was an interesting face.

"Naruto," Kakashi said patiently, "could you stop staring at my face? I'm trying to read," he put one finger against the forehead which was only centimeters in front of him and pushed it away, bringing the book up between them.

"I have to burn it into my memory," he blond boy explained, sitting beside the older man on the bed, "maybe if I describe it well enough, Sai will be able to draw it. And then I can sell the picture to Anko-sensei and Asuma-sensei and get rich. And then I can buy  _four_ cups for ramen for lunch every day instead of three." Ramen was really all he could think about at this point. Well, it was all his stomach could think about.

"Go eat your breakfast," the jonin sighed, pointing to the untouched bowl of prison food sitting on Naruto's bed. The guard had come an hour ago to leave the two bowls for them outside the bars. Kakashi had quickly finished his, and had taken up his book again while his student had poked at his own bowl.

"I don't want to!" The boy complained, "it's  _horrible_! It's like…" he paused to think, "it's like they took all the rotten vegetables in the village and mashed them together, added some spices, and then put it on top of some stale rice. Suna food is the worst!"

"It's prison food. It's not supposed to be tasty."

"I want ramen!"

"Tell that to the guards. I'm sure they'll have a nice laugh over it."

Naruto sighed and peered over Kakashi's shoulder at the page he was reading, "'Tora's hand slipped lower," he read out loud, "her skilled fingers easily slid down the small patch of silver hair and came to rest at the base of his-'"

Kakashi quickly turned the book so that he couldn't see it.

"The base of his what?" Naruto demanded. He had never really bothered to read through Jiraiya's perverted books, but at this point it seemed like the only entertainment present. He rested his chin on Kakashi's shoulder and gave him a pointed sideways look.

"His neck," his sensei lied smoothly, "Jio grew a beard. She was just about to tell him that it suited him."

"That doesn't sound right," Naruto mumbled, "if you're going to read, at least let me read too. I'm going to die of boredom."

"No. In case you haven't noticed, I try to maintain some semblance of responsibility once in a while."

"I'm sixteen!" He exclaimed, "what, it's ok for me to  _do_ those things but I can't  _read_ about them?!"

"…I'm going to go with 'no'."

"That's no fair! If I had asked, I'm pretty sure Ero-Sennin would have let me go in those sketchier places that not even  _he_ visits. I was just staying loyal to Sakura-chan!"

"Then I'm relatively sure you haven't done any of the things in here," Kakashi pointed out.

"Exactly! I need experience!"

"You're a sixteen-year-old shinobi. A love life is the  _last_ thing you need," the jonin told him, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself.

"Well I've stayed true to that, sensei," Naruto muttered, "I mean, the only person I've ever kissed is Sasuke."

Kakashi choked slightly.

"Not like that!" Naruto rushed to clarify, "it was an accident, I swear! Some idiot pushed me onto him!" He slipped back into his position sitting next to the older man on the bed, and allowed his sensei to open the book again, this time with the pages facing away from him.

"Well that's nice to know," Kakashi breathed in relief, "I was worried about having some very interesting drama on my team."

"Me and Sasuke? No way. I mean, he'll always be my friend no matter  _how_  many pedophiles he runs away with, but he's not girly at all." Naruto wrinkled his nose.

Kakashi remained strangely quiet, and turned a page.

Naruto's face slowly morphed into a mischievous smile, and he leaned closer, trying to peer back into the book, "I bet she was going down  _there_."

"I choose to neither confirm nor deny that statement," his sensei responded stiffly.

"Which will probably lead to licking," he went on, "apparently some girls like doing that, right?"

"I choose to neither confirm not deny that statement."

"Right? Right?" He pressed on, putting a hand on the other man's shoulder and leaning over to catch a few more words.

Kakashi slipped a finger in to hold his page and shut the book, deciding not to risk corrupting his student's mind any further.

"Oh come on, I spent two years travelling with Ero-Sennin. I  _have_ heard of  _some_ things," the blond boy deadpanned, "how much of the stuff in there have  _you_ done, sensei?"

His sensei sighed and turned to raise an eyebrow at him, "you're  _that_ bored?"

"Just curious."

"Haven't you ever heard that silence is golden?"

"I bet you've never  _been_ in a relationship," Naruto said matter-of-factly, "most kunoichi like being single and I couldn't imagine you with a civilian girl."

Kakashi remained silent again. For the hundredth time since they had taken it away, he desperately wished for his mask.

* * *

 

Many hours later, two Konoha nin stood outside the outermost cellblock, faced with a tall, brown-haired jonin-guard.

"I'm sorry," the guard stated, "relatives only."

Haruno Sakura crossed her arms over her chest in frustration, "but we can get permission from the Kazekage himself!"

"Kazekage-sama overrules you," Sai pointed out. They both had their rough cloaks thrown over their shoulders to protect them from the heat outside. The insides of the stucco buildings were relatively more hidden from the elements, but they only hoped that Naruto hadn't melted into a blond puddle by now.

"Sure you  _can_ get permission, but I need to I  _see_ the permission slips," the guard went on, "those two are prisoners under my own jurisdiction, and I'd rather not get in trouble. They're high-riskers, after all."

"It'll take a while to visit Kazekage-sama again and attain permission," Sai whispered to her, "we won't be able to see them today."

Sakura bit her lip, and turned to the jonin-guard, "I'm related. To…uh…Hatake Kakashi. He's prisoner one-eighty-four." She didn't know Naruto's number, so their sensei's would have to do.

"Yeah right," the guard scoffed, leaning against the door to the cellblock, "you look  _nothing_ like him. Like,  _nothing._ And neither does the creepy pale kid." He shivered slightly at Sai's fake smile.

"I'm related to him by marriage," she confirmed. It would be easy to pass Kakashi off as her older brother-in-law or something.

"In-laws are not considered relatives here in Suna," the man replied. Well, there went that plan.

"He's my husband," Sakura told him, straightening and trying to look a little older than her sixteen years. She gave him a pointed look, as if daring him to question it.

"Nah." The ease with which he questioned it astounded her. "There's no way he got a young girl like you, no matter how soft-looking he is."

"We're married! Just ask him," she said between gritted teeth. It was a good thing she hadn't claimed to be Naruto's wife. Her blond teammate wouldn't have known what to say if he was asked. "Proposed a few months ago. Small ceremony, family and friends, you know the like." At least, she hoped he did, because she'd never actually been to a marriage.

"Indeed, they make quite the couple," Sai added with a bland smile, "Genetically speaking, their children will most likely have pink hair."

"You're overdoing it, Sai." Sakura whispered to him harshly.

The guard raised an eyebrow and gave her hand a contemplative look, "no ring?"

"Konoha has very different marriage traditions," Sai offered helpfully, "for instance, some marriages are decided by inking your spouse's name onto your-"

"That's  _not_ from Konoha, Sai," Sakura hissed, " _that's_  a tradition from  _Blood Country._ "

"It was the only other one I knew," Sai whispered back, "unless you wanted me to use the older tradition of the night-ceremony in which-"

"Not relevant!"

"Well, whatever. He's a lucky man," the guard told her, "might want to be careful though. He seems to be having a lot of fun with his cellmate. Caught him giving one of those 'Konoha-style massages'. If it happens again I'll consider adding sexual harassment to his records."

Sakura frowned. Konoha-style massage? What on earth was that? Kakashi was sexually assaulting Naruto? Now  _this_  was a story. "If he cheats on me I'll castrate him," she said matter-of-factly, "are you going to let us in?"

"Ch. Fine. If you try to break them out I'll catch you anyway," the guard sighed and stood up straight, opening the door behind him. They both followed him down the stucco halls of the cellblock, shuffling their feet in the sand.

* * *

 

Kakashi and Naruto looked up sharply as the outer door to their cell was opened. The sun had just stopped shining as brightly as before, and they guessed that it was visiting time.

"Oi, one-eighty-four," Taji called out, peeking through, "your wife's here to see you. You'd better hope that really was a 'massage' you were giving, cause she's a real spitfire, she might take your manhood." His head disappeared and the door opened further, allowing two figures to stream in.

Naruto brightened at the sight of Sakura and Sai. He stood up from his seat beside Kakashi on the bed and rushed to the bars, "Sakura-chan! Sai! I've been so bored!" he didn't seem to notice the 'wife' comment.

The pink haired girl smiled warmly and walked over to the bars, "yeah, we've been trying to make money to bail you out. It…hasn't been working all that well," she winced as she remembered how she had woken up that morning. It had involved a Suna hospital, and the blood-alcohol level of an established drunk.

The blond boy seemed ecstatic that his long-time crush cared enough to even try for him, "thanks, Sakura-chan! When I get out of here, I'll totally treat you to ramen."

She and Sai turned to watch Kakashi, who had his green book positioned over his face. The jonin walked over and gave her an amused look, "you're going to take my manhood?"

"Only if you cheat on her with Naruto," Sai informed him seriously.

Sakura reddened furiously, "I couldn't think of anything else! In-laws aren't considered relatives here in Suna, and we don't look anything alike! I'll get a permission slip from Gaara tonight so that I can visit normally tomorrow…"

"Too bad, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, "Taji-san is our permanent jonin-guard. You'll have to play along for the rest of our sentence."

Sakura groaned and bumped her pink head against the bars. Kakashi reached over to pat it consolingly, but that hadn't really worked since she was twelve.

"What have you been doing?" Sai inquired, "one of the first things they taught us in anbu was that boredom is detrimental to the mind."

"Well I'm bored  _out_  of my mind," Naruto complained, "sensei has his perverted books, but he won't let me read anything!"

"Thanks, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura told him, "the  _last_  thing we need is a perverted Naruto." She gave him a knowing look.

"It's my duty towards humanity," their sensei replied smoothly. His voice came out slightly mumbled due to the book that covered his face. "You said you were trying to make money?"

"Yeah," she nodded, and then turned to Sai, "how much did we make last night?"

"Sixty thousand," he informed her, "but I don't think you will be allowed in that place again. You were thoroughly intoxicated."

Sakura groaned, "don't remind me. I think I'm just going to have to accept the fact that I'm a lightweight and move on with my life."

"Sounds like an interesting story," Naruto spoke up, grinning, "what did you do, Sakura-chan?"

"Arm wrestling. I think it started out great, but I don't really remember  _anything_ after the ten thousand ryo point," she sighed, "ah well. At least I got to get the beat a bunch of older guys. That part was fun. The 'drink if you win' part wasn't."

"Don't forget the 'drink if you lose' part," Sai added.

"I'm not sure if Tsunade-sama's influence is good for you, or really, really bad," Kakashi observed. He hiked the book up farther, revealing a hint of his bare jaw line. Luckily, Sakura and Sai weren't paying much attention to it.

"Sensei, what's this about you sexually assaulting Naruto?" Sakura asked, "the guard told us."

Naruto spluttered, "sensei did no such thing! He just sat on me so that I wouldn't see-"

"He was cold," Kakashi said quickly, "it was during the late evening. So I thought that we could share body heat. I did it all the time during the war when we slept outside."

There was silence as Sakura and Sai looked from him to Naruto, trying to figure out if they really wanted to know.

Deciding against it, Sai nodded, "Kakashi-san, we will continue to attempt making money here."

"How?" Sakura turned to him, "you saw how well last night went, and talk of what I did had already spread to the hospitals by morning," she winced, "some of the male medics were…discussing it. I don't think they'll let me into any more gambling places."

"That is not the only way to make money," the pale boy replied, "I will have one hundred thousand ryo by tomorrow morning."

"Really? How?" She asked. There was a hint of apprehension nudging her, but she hadn't really been paying much attention to that these days.

"Leave it to me, Sakura-san," he gave her another bland smile, "I do not disappoint."

"Wow, Sai, you're really helpful sometimes…"

"Thanks!" Naruto exclaimed, "I'm going crazy in here!"

Sakura gave him a pitying look, and turned to their sensei, "Kakashi-sensei, please do  _something_ to keep him busy. An insane Naruto is probably worse than a perverted one."

At that moment, the door to the cell swung open with a creak once again. The four occupants of the room turned to see Taji holding it open, and a familiar blond girl entered. She carried a small package in her hands, and wore a rough Suna-style cloak, indicating that she had walked all the way from the Hokage's office building.

"Temari!" Naruto turned to give the new Suna jonin a bright smile. Temari grinned back and approached the bars.

"Heard Konoha's Copy-Nin and Uzumaki Naruto were stuck in our prison," she said lightly, "how could I resist?" Gaara was trying to keep it hidden it order to let them away with a semi-clean record, but nothing got past her.

"She had  _actual_ permission from Kazekage-sama, too," Taji muttered, giving Sakura a pointed glare. With that, he turned to Naruto, "maybe you really  _are_ the Kazekage's friend…"

"You may leave," Temari told him. Since she was on the jonin council, the guard did not hesitate to comply. He shut the door and left them to talk. Temari turned to Sakura and Sai, "Sakura! I haven't seen you in a while, since you saved my brother's life. He doesn't go a week without expressing his undying gratitude…"

Sakura nodded, "Suna's been really great. The residence that Gaara provided is amazing. Although I can't really speak for our other two teammates," she shot an apologetic smile at Naruto.

Temari nodded, "don't worry, they'll survive. Gaara worked really hard to bring down their sentence. He even brought out the 'inter-country relations' card. It'll take a while, but he won't let you stay here for the full time. And who's this?"

"My name is Sai," the pale boy introduced himself, "it is nice to meet you." He looked down at the wrapped package she was holding, "what is that?"

"Oh this? Just something for the prisoners." Temari reached through the bars to pass the package to Kakashi. The grey-haired jonin took it gingerly in one hand, still covering his face with the book in the other.

"I know how bad the food here is," she explained, "and I have clearance to leave things with the prisoners. There's rice and some imported seasoning, cause I heard you people from Konoha like that stuff. I'm not really allowed to bring you anything too filling because apparently that creates escape hazards, so this was the best I could do."

Naruto grabbed the package from Kakashi's hands and ripped it open, spotting the two paper cups of rice and a packet of seasoning. His mouth started watering immediately. "It's not ramen, but it'll do!" He decided, picking up one set of wooden chopsticks.

"We appreciate it," Kakashi told her, "Naruto hasn't actually eaten any of the meals they've provided." Indeed his student had simply ignored the bowl of horribly made Suna-style curry they had left for lunch. He reached over and claimed the other bowl before he could take that too. Something told him that dinner in prison wasn't going to taste very good.

"Well, I'm leaving for a mission tonight," Temari spoke up, "but Kankuro will come by on the days he's free."

"Great," Sakura nodded, "they can survive on that."

Two raps on the outer door of their cell indicated that they were nearing the end of their visiting time.

"Well, we have to go," she went on, "stay sane, Naruto. Sensei, I'm pleading for him here, but keep him busy with  _something._ I think I'd go mad too if I had to stay in a cell like this for days."

Kakashi sighed, "anything for you, my dear wife," he said, just as the door opened and Taji peeked through.

"Oi, no physical contact allowed," he stated roughly, noting that they were all quite close to the bars. He gave Kakashi a knowing look, "wait the two weeks, will you? It's not that hard, other men have had dry spells for  _much_ longer."

The grey-haired jonin merely shifted his book a little higher up his face and gave Sakura an amused look as she turned as pink as her hair.

"You haven't lowered that book once," Sai observed, "is there a problem, Kakashi-san?" His keen eyes swept over the back of the book cover. It was held so closely that there was no way he was able to read it.

"Ah, I'd love to elaborate, but your time is up," he waved at them dismissively, "come back tomorrow and tell us how your plan for making money goes."

Sai looked like he was about to question further, but nodded and followed Sakura, Temari, and Taji out of the cell. The sound of footsteps echoed down the hall, and the sound of furious chewing came from behind him. Kakashi turned back to see that Naruto was still gulping down the rice.

"So good…" he breathed, putting down his empty bowl, "haven't eaten  _all day…_ "

"Which is your own fault," the jonin told him. He went over to sit on the other bed, and placed his own bowl in front of him. Naruto watched as he ripped open the packet of seasoning and poured it on top, and then mixed it in with his chopsticks. He continued to watch in absolute interest as Kakashi raised the rice to his mouth, chewing slowly.

"Is there a reason you're watching me eat?" Kakashi asked raising an eyebrow. It was rather unnerving.

"I've  _never_ seen you eat before…" Naruto told him earnestly, "you always finish too quickly."

"It's a skill I've developed over the years," his sensei agreed, "but there's really no need for it if I don't have my mask."

Naruto continued to watch in rapt attention.

"On the other hand, if you're going to watch me like that…"

"Alright, alright," the blond boy sat back against the wall behind his bed, looking out the window. He could see the desert sun outside, sending beams of heat into the small room. The afternoon had been horrible, but he had to admit that the thick, scratchy prison clothing was better protection than his orange jumpsuit. There had been sweat  _everywhere_ on him _,_ but at least he didn't have any heat rashes.

The sound of wood clattering against paper bowl signaled the end of Kakashi's meal. Naruto turned back to see his sensei setting the bowl and chopsticks down underneath the bed.

"In case another guard comes in," he answered his student's unasked question, "it's not technically illegal if Temari is bringing it, but we don't want to give them any ideas."

Naruto nodded, and shuffled forward to sit at the edge of his bed, swinging his legs over the side, "so what are we going go do?"

"Do?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow as he settled back against the wall, opening his book to the saved page.

"No fair!" The blond boy told him, "you promised Sakura-chan that you wouldn't let me get bored!"

"Technically, I only promised my wife," his sensei explained, "unless you're trying to concede her as my wife?"

Naruto thought about it for a few seconds. Finally, he turned back, "that depends. Will you keep her away from other guys until she agrees to go on a date with me?"

"You're the only one I'd have to keep her away from," he replied dryly, " No one's dared to ask her out since she became Tsunade-sama's student, I've heard some interesting stories from Asuma. "

"Oh. Well then go ahead and read, sensei. I'll just sit here and slowly die of boredom."

* * *

 

The mess hall was a large room. It had long tables that ran down the centre, and a slight odor of sour food and sweat that sunk into their noses and refused to leave. The bright light streaming through high windows ran unevenly through the area, and the tables covered in shadows seemed to be the most occupied. Prisoners tended to be rather shady people.

" _Don't_ make any trouble," Taji advised from behind them, "I don't know about this grudge they seem to have against your father, but if another fight breaks out,  _I'm_ the one who has to stop it. And these people seem to be rather tempted to break the no-chakra rule, extra five-year sentence aside."

"I'll only defend," Kakashi promised, "and only if they use chakra. Although I can't make any promises for Naruto."

"I'll beat up anyone who lays a hand on you," Naruto promised, "I mean, if they after you without a good reason, then I'll  _give_  them a good reason". His voice held more intensity than usual; these people's familiar eyes really bothered him. The fact that those looks were being aimed towards one of his precious people was almost worse.

The guard sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair, "whatever. You know the drill. Go get your food, kid, I'm gonna be nice and pretend I didn't see that package that one of Kazekage-sama's advisors gave you."

He nodded and stepped into the room. Again, all conversation died down when they spotted the grey-haired man who entered behind him. Naruto scanned the small crowd of prisoners, and glared back at the familiar looks. He knew as well as anyone that his sensei could destroy them all if he wanted. But there were ways to hurt someone that didn't involve fists, and the rest of team seven had already heard hints of a past that their sensei was not willing to share.

Kakashi's hand rested on his shoulder once again, and they made their way over to the side of the room, where the food was being served. Dozens of eyes watched them as they stopped in front of the server behind the counter.

"Numbers?" The man standing over the food asked gruffly.

"One-eighty-four," Kakashi replied, "and he's one-ninety-five."

The man nodded and retrieved two bowls, spooning gruel into them and inserting a large spoon in each. He passed them over the counter without even looking up, and returned to chopping vegetables. Naruto reached over and took his bowl, being careful not to slosh it out of the sides. He followed his sensei to the table closest to the counter, and farthest from the rest of the prisoners.

Unfortunately, that meant sitting in the bright light, and allowing practically everyone to get a good look at the face that resembled Hatake Sakumo's so closely.

Naruto glared back as he slipped onto the bench across from his sensei and slammed the bowl onto the table so hard that some of the broth splashed out.

"Calm down, Naruto," Kakashi said softly, "no trouble for Gaara, remember?

"Does he know about this?" Naruto asked, narrowing his eyes at the onlookers.

"No," the jonin sighed, "he's too young to remember anything. But if you even accidently use chakra on the offensive, you'll be spending five  _years_ here."

"But you'll break me out, right, sensei?" He stirred the broth with the large spoon, identifying pieces of vegetables and carefully pushing them to the sides.

"If I do, then we won't be able to return to Konoha without causing trouble between the two villages. We'll both become missing-nin."

Naruto grinned, "we can take Sakura-chan and Sai and go after Sasuke together," he brought the spoon up and took a large mouthful of the gruel, grimacing at the weird texture that coated his tongue, "ew, Sunafood is gross…"

"And then what are we supposed to do, assuming we find Sasuke? At this point, he's also a missing-nin." Kakashi pointed out. It would be nice if Naruto would just listen to him and keep away from any fights, but he was perfectly willing to reason it out.

"Well," the blond boy tapping the end of his spoon against his chin in thought, "we could go to Wave Country and live with Tazuna oji-san!" He decided, "I mean, Inari told us to visit, but we've never actually gone back. I wanna see the Great Naruto Bridge again!" His voice was a little higher, and the groups of people still staring at him glared more intensely.

"I don't think Wave Country has any ramen. All they eat is fish," the grey-haired jonin informed him matter-of-factly. He took more spoonfuls of gruel, not wincing at all despite the taste. The ration bars they had been given during the war had been far worse.

Naruto paused. "Oh. Well that's not an option, then. Maybe we could run away to Kumo. I hear they've got great Tsukemen, and I know what we could do with that." He turned to one of the closest men a few tables away, "what are you looking at?!"

The man ignored him and continued to glare at Kakashi, as if evaluating his chances of getting a good hit in before being dragged to the inner cells.

"Naruto," Kakashi said softly, " _don't make trouble_." He gave the other man a stern look, warning him not to start anything. Luckily, the man didn't have the guts to try at this point, especially since the other jonin guards were patrolling the room.

"But they have  _that_ look," Naruto replied, putting in an effort to keep his voice down.

His sensei raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, I'm used to it and all, but it's horrible, isn't it?" He went on, "I mean, you just want to do  _anything_ to make them look differently."

Kakashi sighed. Without his mask, the slight sadness that flitted across his face was startlingly evident. He understood exactly what those words meant, even if he'd never experienced them before. "Some of those people blame me for the deaths of their loved ones," he explained, "they've lost siblings and friends and even children in the past war."

Naruto didn't miss a beat, "but it doesn't mean they can look at you like that, does it?"

Kakashi paused. "No, no it doesn't," he agreed quietly, more for his student's benefit than his own.

* * *

 

That evening, the guard left two more glasses of water near the bars. In weather like Suna's where there was the very real possibility of drying up, water was essential.

Naruto lounged back on his own bed, and gulped down the metallic tasting liquid. He turned to look at Kakashi, who was sipping it slowly while reading his book.

"Sensei?"

"Hmm?"

"I think we should sleep together."

The water leapt to the floor for the second time that week. Luckily, Kakashi managed to maneuver his book out of the way; it already had a water-stain from the first time. He looked up to give his student a blank look.

"I mean, I almost froze last night," Naruto went on, "it would be nice if I had some body heat to share, you know? I mean, you brought that up when you were lying to Sakura-chan, and it does sound like a good idea." He put the metal tumbler to the side and clasped his hands behind his head.

"Of course," Kakashi replied patiently, pretending he hadn't just had a small heart attack.

Naruto's expression slowly morphed into a mischievous smile. He stood up and walked the two steps to reach the other bed, sitting down beside his sensei. He then turned to him, still grinning, "sensei, you really  _are_ a closet-pervert, aren't you? Just like Ebisu-sensei. I bet the first thing you thought about was some perverted."

Kakashi shifted away slightly, "perverseness is the mother of all bad habits." He paused. "But she's ultimately a mother and we should respect her." With that, his eyes returned to page seventy-four.

"Hah! Gai-sensei told us that you used to be stuck-up before you became 'Hip and Cool' and a closet-pervert. What happened?" Naruto asked, leaning back against the wall behind his sensei's bed and staring at his back.

"I learned that some things are more important than rules," Kakashi replied easily. There were many things that he liked to keep private, but this was a question he would readily answer, no matter who asked.

"Right, 'people who don't stick up for their comrades are worse than trash'," Naruto quoted. As a student of Hatake Kakashi, there wasn't a lesson more deeply engrained into his mind, "but how exactly were you stuck-up?"

 _I made fun of the people I loved._ "I wasn't 'stuck-up', as you so eloquently put it. I was just surrounded by idiots at times. Well, most of the time. Apart from Minato-sensei, that is."

"'Minato-sensei'?..." Naruto lit up in recognition, "Oh! Yondaime-sama was your sensei, right! Ero-Sennin told me that he taught Yondaime-sama. But he never talked about his other students…"

"The other two boys on his team left when they were young," Kakashi explained, looking up from his book, "one of them was crippled, and the other retired as a shinobi. That's what happened to most of the younger graduates, and it was partly why Sandaime-sama decided to enforce the minimum graduation age."

"Boys? Ero-Sennin didn't have a kunoichi on his genin team?"

"Do you really think they'd let Jiraiya-sama teach a girl? Besides, Minato-sensei was girly enough already."

"Hah! Yondaime-sama was girly. Well, I'm still going to become a Hokage just like him…" Naruto yawned loudly, "woah, I'm tired. I want to sleep and wake up tomorrow evening when Sakura-chan and Sai come back."

"I don't think it's possible to sleep that long. If it was, I would've accomplished it already," Kakashi told him dryly, "and besides, they'll wake us up for our showers again. The other prisoners seem to be keeping their distance for the time being, and we  _do_ need to stay clean."

"Yeah," Naruto muttered, "I didn't even know I  _had_ sweat glands there…"

Kakashi winced slightly at the person he would be sharing a bed with.

"At least I won't freeze again," his student went on brightly, "I hope you don't snore, sensei."

He winced again as he remembered the chainsaw snoring that had taken place the previous night. He hadn't been the one doing the snoring, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this all at once so that you don't have to wait for chapters ^^


	4. Draw him Smiling

**Chapter 4 – Draw him Smiling**

"Sakura-san."

"Mmm…"

"Sakura-san!"

"What?" Haruno Sakura groaned and dug her face further into the wonderfully soft pillow of the bed in her hotel room, trying to ignore the voice that was waking her up. She stilled as she felt a hand on her arm.

Within seconds, she was up. Her other hand came to grip the one on her arm and she flipped around, pinning her assailant to the wall above her bed with one hand to his throat. Sakura's eyes widened when she recognized pale skin that was clear even in the dim moonlight.

"Sai?" She asked hesitantly, loosening her hold on his neck.

The pale boy nodded and massaged his throat, giving her a bland smile. She shifted aside and allowed him to slip off the bed and stand next to it. The moonlight of the large window in the room illuminated his form and allowed her to see him more clearly; he was still dressed in his shinobi clothing, and he held a cloth bag in one hand.

"I collected the hundred-thousand ryo," he reported as she settled down to sit cross-legged on the bed in her striped pajamas, "in fact, there is probably around one-twenty in here." Sai held up the bag.

Sakura grinned widely, noting the bulging cloth, "that's great, Sai! How did you do it?"

Sai seemed to brighten at the praise. He set the bag onto the bed proudly, "I paid a visit to some of the civilian traders. Quite a few of them had savings hidden in their houses, and they were relatively easy to find."

Sakura stilled, and gave him an incredulous look.

"There is no need to worry," he told her, mistaking her shock for worry, "I left no traces. I originally planned to visit the houses of the council members, who are also quite rich, but there was the possibility that they had shinobi guards near my level."

"You…stole it?" She squeaked.

"Well of course," he replied, as if it was obvious, which it was.

Sakura groaned and covered her face with her hands, shaking her head vigorously, "no, no, no! This is not right…" she mumbled.

"In our profession, not many things are not right," Sai pointed out, sitting down on the bed beside her.

"It's  _not,_ " she stressed, "it's just… _not_."

"And it was not  _not_ right to cheat civilian men out of their money by using chakra-enhanced strength?" Sai asked again.

Sakura glared, "that never happened.  _Never._ I still don't remember what happened that night and I don't think I want to."

There were a few moments of silence.

"They were very rich traders," Sai tried, "I'm sure they will earn it back in a few years or so."

"We can't do this…" she muttered, "if Kashi-sensei finds out about this…"

"He doesn't need to. I am perfectly capable of remaining silent."

"That's not the point!" She snapped, "listen, here's something to add to your social norms book. Shinobi  _never_ steal from civilians."

He looked completely unconvinced, "many of our missions involve stealing from civilians. The daimyo is a civilian. We steal from foreign daimyo all the time."

"…unless it's for a mission," she conceded, "that's…different."

Sai paused in thought, "so what should I do?"

"Return it. I'll help you, if you need," she stated, swinging her legs off the bed. She grabbed the bag, wincing at how heavy it was. Sai had really done his best, but they couldn't take this.

"Then how will we make the money?" He questioned.

"I'm sure sensei and Naruto are willing to spend another day in there instead of ruining the livelihood of dozens of civilian families," Sakura replied, "we can always find other ways."

Sai seemed utterly confused, "…should I attempt to collect funds from the Suna jonin instead? They aren't very rich, but maybe if we visited many of them…"

Sakura groaned.

* * *

 

When Naruto woke up the next morning, he was relatively warm. He still had a few goose bumps, but at least they didn't have their own. He was lying with his back to the wall, where he had evidently turned over sometime during the night. In front of him was Kakashi, who was still thoroughly asleep. Somehow, their legs had gotten into an interesting situation under the sheets.

The window was allowing some light to filter through. Naruto figured that it would probably be shower time in a few minutes. He tried to move, but found that he couldn't. Instead, he reached out and poked the man's cheek, "Oi. Sensei. Wake up." His morning voice came out slightly rough.

Kakashi remained asleep. His eyelid twitched, but that was all.

Naruto sighed and put his finger at the one end of the jonin's lips, drawing it up into a half-smile. He grinned widely at what he saw.

"Sensei! You have a dimple!" He paused. "I have to make sure to tell Sai about it when he draws you," he went on absently, "he's going to draw you smiling."

The jonin groaned slightly and shifted his head to the other side, away from inquisitive fingers. Naruto huffed when he took some of their sheets with him, but the morning was warm so he didn't mind. He propped himself up on his elbow, still struggling slightly because his legs wouldn't budge, and studied the other man's grey hair.

"Sensei, you're always smiling when you have your mask on, but you don't smile at all when it's off," he pointed out, "am I making you sad? Sorry…this is a gloomy place, and there's only enough happiness for me."

"Shhh Naruto…" Kakashi mumbled, trying valiantly to hold onto his sleep, and particularly to one of his few better dreams. Memories of loud snoring keeping him up all night now flooded his mind. Well, at least he had been a  _warm_  insomniac. He couldn't deny that Naruto pretty much radiated body heat.

"Hmm? I didn't hear that," Naruto leaned closer, trying to make out the words.

"Quiet…" the mumble came again.

"What?"

"Shh," Kakashi said a bit louder, "sleep…"

Naruto paused, "well, I would get up but your leg is trapping mine, and I can't move it. You may not be squishy, but you're still heavy, sensei."

Kakashi's eyes flew open, and his face took on a rather shocked expression as he realized exactly how his legs were positioned. He skillfully maneuvered his limbs away from the other boy's right leg, and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, all pretense of sleep now gone.

"Sorry about that," he muttered, drawing back as far as he could on the bed. Trying to keep the mortified expression off his face was difficult. "You were rather warm, I think."

Naruto shrugged, sitting up in the sheets, "well, this  _is_ kind of the point of sharing body heat, I suppose. You said you did it all the time during the war, right?"

"Yes…" Kakashi trailed, swinging the sheets off his form, "the sheets were rationed, and they were the first things the enemies took, apart from food."

"Who'd you share with?" He asked, slightly curious.

Kakashi wondered why he was answering, "my teammate, Nohara Rin."

Naruto stilled, "woah, you slept with a girl? How on earth did she  _let_  you? I mean, if I ever tried to share with Sakura, she'd beat me half to death!  _Especially_ if I woke up like  _that_." He paused, looking slightly miserable, "I mean, she'd probably rather freeze to death." He sat cross-legged on the bed, loose grey shirt hanging slightly off one shoulder.

"Rin was our medic," he replied, trying to forget exactly what position he'd been in with his  _student_ , "skilled medics were rare, we couldn't afford to let anything happen to her. If we were attacked I was the one who would have been able to protect her while Minato-sensei took them out." Plus, he had slept like a dead body during those days.

"How come you've never introduced us to your old team?" Naruto questioned, "and they were the students of Yondaime-sama too…I wanna know who they are!" He cocked his head to one side, "and I bet Sakura would want to know about Rin-san, if she was a medic."

Kakashi paused. He slowly turned and swung his legs off the bed, turning his back to his student. "She's not around anymore," he explained.

"Oh? Where is she?"

"I don't know." He wasn't used to lying with his face, but his voice was skilled in the area. As long as Naruto saw only his back, it would be fine.

Naruto frowned. It was strange that his sensei would so easily distance himself from his team; as far as he was concerned, Sakura would be a part of his life whether she liked it or not. Even if she never agreed to go out with him, he'd  _never_ forget her. And once Sasuke came back, they would be close friends until they were old and grey. "What about your other teammate, sensei?"

"He's not around anymore either," the grey haired man replied, still looking at the opposite wall. He reached out with his arms, stretching widely, "and you shouldn't ask me where he is too."

"Well, even if you didn't keep in contact with your old team, I'd just like to say that you're stuck with us," Naruto told him matter-of-factly, "When I become Hokage, I'll make you and Sakura-chan my advisors, cause I don't need those old farts anyway, I don't know how Tsunade baa-chan can stand them. Sasuke can be my anbu commander, cause he would be good at that stuff."

"Sure. Of course." If he had turned around, Naruto would have seen his slight smile.

* * *

 

"Oji-san?"

The guard bit his lip, and slowly counted down from ten before turning to the blond prisoner now walking beside him on the way to the showers, "what is it, one-ninety-five?" He shot a pleading look at Kakashi, as if silently asking him how to make the boy shut up. The jonin shrugged. Naruto just wouldn't be Naruto if he didn't have enough verbal energy to contest Maito Gai himself.

Naruto clasped his hands behind his head, "aren't there any girls in this prison?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Do we ever get to see them?" He went on.

Taji raised an eyebrow at him as they entered the mess hall, "you're not allowed," he said firmly, "we're worried about certain inappropriate things happening."

Naruto reddened, "I wouldn't do anything! I'm a perfect gentleman!" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "I just haven't seen anyone else but a bunch of big, hairy guys who look like they want to kill me."

Kakashi winced.

"Kid, a lot of those women are lifers, and for some rather interesting reasons, too. We're worried about  _your_ virtue." Taji replied dryly, "if your 'sensei' over there can wait two weeks for the pink haired girl, you can wait too." They walked through the mess hall, and their footsteps echoed off the stucco walls.

"Do  _you_ get to visit them?" Naruto asked, slightly curious.

The guard sighed, "if I could take a break from work and get myself a love life, I'd be right on it. But you two bastards are keeping me busier than ever. Guess it's my fault for being the strongest jonin-guard on duty; they give me all the hard ones." Neither of the two Konoha nin couldn't tell if he was boasting or complaining, and his voice gave nothing away.

When they reached the doors of the showers, he turned to give them both apprehensive looks. "Ok, this didn't go so well the first time, but the guards are patrolling in there today. Go in, get a towel, find yourself a stall, scrub, and get out. Don't get killed, and try not to kill anyone. Got it?"

"Maa, don't worry," Kakashi told him, waving a hand absently, "I fight perfectly well in a towel, and I know all the non-lethal spots to hit." With that, he turned and steered Naruto in with a hand on his shoulder, leaving the sighing guard behind.

When they entered the large stucco room this time, not a single eye was on them. In fact, everyone was trying very pointedly to  _not_ look at them. The benches through the centre were absolutely packed, and every other prisoner seemed to be attempting to take up as much space as they could. Naruto looked around, noting all the steam that was coming out of the shower stalls. Konoha's prisoners all took cold showers, but Suna didn't exactly have any lack of hot water.

"There's only one shower free," he commented, "want to go first, sensei? I'll stay outside and make sure that no one tries anything." He glared around the room. There was no doubt that many of the 'occupied' showers were actually free and had been set to run, but the last thing they wanted to do was run into dozens of naked men while trying to find out.

Kakashi sighed, more worried about what his student would do to  _them_. But he realized that if he left him out after the tension had escalated, it would only be worse. "Alright, then," he grabbed a towel off the rack behind them and swung it over his shoulder, "I'll be out in a minute, Naruto. One minute. It'll be the shortest shower I've ever taken. You can last at least that long without fighting, can't you?"

Naruto grinned, "I can't make any promises, sensei. You always did teach me to stand up for my teammates, right?"

Well, he couldn't argue with that. The grey-haired jonin shot one more apprehensive look around the room and then stepped into the stall to strip inside since all the bench space was taken.

When he heard the water inside running and saw grey clothing being swung over the top of the door, Naruto leaned back against the wall beside the curtain, looking across at the men sitting on the benches and talking in low voices. It was curious; he couldn't imagine hating  _anyone_ the way these people hated his sensei. He couldn't imagine hating anyone the same way most of the Konoha villages used to hate  _him_. Sasuke had told him that it hurt more to have something taken away than to never have it at all. Maybe he was right.

"Hey." He yelled out.

Immediately, every voice in the room was silenced, and every eye was trained on him. They had already learned to associate the loud blond boy with the younger Hatake, and  _those eyes_ were now looking his way.

"You trying to start something, brat?" The man who had first recognized Kakashi, the one with an interesting scar across his forehead, asked in a low voice.

"No," Naruto told him, "I'm not." But the familiar urge was building up inside him, the urge to do  _something_ to make them look differently, "I just wanted to ask exactly what he did."

"What he did?" Another prisoner spoke out. The man stood up from his bench and made his way over until he was standing only a meter away, "you must be pretty young if you really have no idea."

"It was a battle," he pointed out, "people die in them. That's how battles work."

A small wave of laughter rose up among the prisoners. Naruto narrowed his eyes at them, unsure of whether to feel insulted or confused. He knew he'd never been in a war, but these people probably didn't look at all the other Konoha shinobi that way. Why was it only Kashi-sensei's father?

"Kid, that wasn't a battle," the first man told him with a hint of malice in his voice, "it was a massacre."

Naruto paused, feeling slightly uneasy. He didn't know what to say to that, and the eyes were still watching him. Finally, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared back, stepping forward towards the man who had said it. "Yeah? Well think what you want, but sensei doesn't have anything to do with what his father did. We'll be out of here in two weeks anyway."

At that, most of the prisoners paused.

"Two weeks? What kind of sentence is that?!"

"That's not a lot of time..."

"He deserves over two years!"

"Gotta act quickly if we wanna do something."

Before he knew it, Naruto was seeing stars. He ducked down to avoid another blow from the man who had crept up behind him and clutched his head. But at that moment, another two prisoners came up in front of him and shoved him aside, headed for the stall Kakashi was in.

Naruto watched them go and didn't make any move to stop them. Sensei would take care of those ones. He straightened and glared at the two guards patrolling the far side of the room. Unfortunately, they were middle-aged. They didn't seem willing to help unless their lives were in danger. Naruto turned back to the prisoners.

"Aren't any of you man enough to face us one on one?" He yelled, "if you think we're nothing without chakra, then prove it!" He held out one fist in the taijutsu stance he had once stumbled through in the academy. It wasn't a very practiced style like Lee's or Neji's, but it was thoroughly unpredictable and he used it perfectly.

"Hah, right," another man shouted, "bet you're cheating somehow, kid."

"I would never cheat! I always fight fair!" His trick during the chunin exam fight with Kiba didn't count.

"What is going on?"

Naruto turned around at the tired voice behind him. Kakashi stepped out of the stall in only his grey pants, with his shirt swung over his shoulder. Behind him, two prisoners were nursing their heads under the running water of the shower. He turned to look at his student.

"One minute. Just one. One small minute." Kakashi sighed. But there was no actual anger in his voice, only exasperation. His grey hair was dripping wet and plastered to his head, and his towel was discarded on the floor of the stall behind him, thoroughly wet from where he had dropped it during the fight.

Naruto was momentarily distracted by the fact that his sensei was a shinobi of Konoha and was  _built_ like one.

The prisoner directly behind him made use of his distraction to aim a punch at the back of his head. Kakashi reached forward and grabbed Naruto's arm, pulling him out of the way.

"We have to get out of here," he said quietly, "don't bother fighting."

"What-" Before he could speak, Naruto was being dragged away from the crowd of prisoners and towards the door that led outside. Kakashi pushed the door open and pulled him out of the shower room, slamming it closed behind him. The angry yells continued for a while, but none of the others were brave enough to follow them and risk being seen as escapers, since that would only land them in the inner cells without anything in return.

"Naruto, I completely understand that they're not the most…cooperative of people, but this needs to stop," Kakashi turned to look at him, "we don't want to provoke them any further."

"But they hit me first!" Naruto exclaimed, "go yell at them."

His sensei paused. "Oh yes, of course," he said dryly, "I'm sure a strict word or two will discourage them from pursuing revenge. It certainly worked with Sasuke, didn't it?"

"Well, the least you can do is try," the blond boy grumbled.

Kakashi sighed, "I'm glad that my students are following my lessons, but I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself."

Naruto paused, wondering whether to tell him that those looks couldn't be defeated with taijutsu. But he knew that his sensei was strong, both physically and mentally. It was horrible, but he could stand it. They leaned back against the outside of the door, looking to either side of the long, oddly silent hallway. Running footsteps approached from one side, and they both breathed sighs of relief at the familiar sight of their personal guard.

Taji skidded to a stop directly in front of them, and took in Kakashi's lack of a shirt, Naruto's dry clothes, and the muffled yelling emanating from the shower door behind them. It built a good picture of what had happened.

"Well, there goes my break," he sighed, "I came running when I heard the crashes. Geez, I only have one hour of free time a day and I have to spend it getting you two out of trouble…"

Naruto gave him a sheepish look, "sorry, oji-san. They're not very nice prisoners."

"I'm willing to put down the fifteen million ryo I don't have that you provoked them," Kakashi muttered. He ran a hand through his wet hair and noticed that his grey shirt was no longer present on his shoulder, "ah…must have dropped it in the rush…" He gave the guard a mournful look.

Taji raised an eyebrow, "I'll bring you another one later," he told him, "no one will notice one shirt missing from the stock, and it's pretty warm out anyway. Let's go back to your cell, then. I'll get special permission so that from tomorrow, you can shower after the other prisoners are out."

Kakashi looked rather uncomfortable at the thought of going that long half-naked. Seeing that he had covered every inch of himself since he was five, it was a strange feeling. His student, on the other hand, was giving him curious glances as they followed their guard down the hall.

"Sensei?" Naruto asked, "the prisoners said that what your father did was a 'massacre'. What did they mean?" He made a conscious effort to not seem  _too_ interested in the fact that Kakashi  _really_ wasn't squishy. At  _all._  Not  _one bit._ He then gave himself a mental punch and told himself that with a few more years of training,  _he_ would be like that too. Hopefully.

But then again, all his sensei ate was healthy stuff. If he had to choose between ramen and being perfectly sculpted, then he would happily agree to be as fat – chubby – as Chouji.

"Yeah," Taji spoke up, "what did your old man do?"

The jonin wondered again why he was bothering to answer, "our war was against Rock Country," he explained, "Konoha was the one that started it, at the paranoia of our council. My father was sent to…sabotage a peace treaty between Kumo and Iwa, and…some things happened that led to Konoha's involvement being revealed. While we were distracted by our war with Iwa in Rain Country, the Yondaime Kazekage wanted to make use of it to strike."

"But what do the things your father did in Kumo and Iwa have to do with us?" Taji grunted, "I didn't pay much attention in history. Too boring, you know? I mean, we could've been out there killing people, who wants to  _read_ at a time like that?" They entered the mess hall on the way back, and their voices echoed through the empty stucco room.

Naruto nodded vigorously, "I know exactly what you mean, oji-san. I didn't pay much attention in history either."

"You didn't pay much attention in  _anything,_ Naruto," Kakashi pointed out, determined to one day instill  _some_ love of knowledge in his students. So far, Sakura was the only one who took after him in that area.

He turned to the guard, "it's not about what he did in Iwa," he went on, "Konoha's council eventually decided to take Suna out in one blow since Iwa was the larger threat, and they outvoted our Hokage. Since my father was…responsible for starting the war, he agreed to their plan to finish off the Konoha-Suna front in River Country because he was determined to do anything to make up for his mistakes."

Kakashi paused, remembering days when his father had ambled around the house absentmindedly, not knowing what to do. He had been so confused at that time, and everyone in the village looked at him as a coward. Hatake Sakumo's will had been utterly shaken, and the council members had jumped to make use of his weakness.

"At the time, Suna wasn't a very prosperous or strong nation and my father was Konoha's White Fang, one of the strongest shinobi of our village," somehow, it didn't seem like he was boasting, "the people of Suna called it a massacre."

Hatake Sakumo had died one week after that event. Looking back, Kakashi couldn't help but understand why.

Taji stopped walking, and turned to face the other jonin, "the…River Country massacre?"

"Yes," Kakashi tilted his head to one side, "remembering something from history lessons?"

"No…" the guard trailed, an unreadable look on his face, "it's nothing."

* * *

 

Many kilometers away, the two other members of Team Kakashi were seated on the floor of Sakura's luxurious hotel room. Sai had set up his small drawing stand beside the bed. His hand held a stick of coal and his face held an expression of thorough blankness.

"This," Sakura told him, "is how people make money the proper way." She sat directly behind him, looking over his shoulder at the blank paper.

"We're going to sell my artwork?" Sai asked blankly, coal held delicate between his fingers.

"Yes," his pink-haired teammate nodded, "you're pretty good, Sai. There are lots of rich people with too much money on their hands who like buying nice drawings to hang up in their rooms."

"I do not like realism," he stated, "my work is all abstract."

"Well I'm sure there's a market for that too," Sakura said confidently, "we can ask for a table at the art show happening in two days. Suna is known for its culture, after all. They'd like foreign-looking artwork, and we can easily price each piece at ten-thousand ryo. Prestige pricing, and all that." As the daughter of a clothes store owner, Sakura knew business well.

"But…what must I draw?" He turned to give her a questioning look.

"Anything," she told him, "I have somewhat of a good eye for art, and everything you come up with looks very skilled even though it's abstract and I don't understand anything..."

Sai didn't know whether to acknowledge the praise or speak his mind. His social etiquette book really didn't cover these situations. Instead, he turned to stare blankly at the paper.

A few minutes went by.

"Should I leave?" Sakura asked, "I mean, you usually draw alone…" She bit her lip, wondering what had gotten into the boy who usually reserved every speck of his enthusiasm for art.

"No, no. That is not the problem," Sai told her, "I just…cannot." He put the stick of coal down in defeat and shifted around to face her, ignoring the blank paper behind him.

"I…don't understand," Sakura tilted her head to one side, "why not? You love drawing."

"I…draw for myself, Sakura-san," he told her, "my drawings are mostly personal, and no one other than you, dickless, Kakashi-san, Yamato-taicho, and my brother have ever seen them. I cannot do this."

Sakura's heart melted slightly at his mournful look. She sighed and stood up, brushing herself off and trying to look determined.

"Well, that's ok, then. I mean, we can find other ways. There's only…nine hundred forty thousand ryo left, right? That's…um…we can do it! We just need…ideas!"

Sai continued to stare at her blankly.

* * *

 

"I'm…starving," Naruto breathed, "at this point…give me any of that gross Suna food. I'll eat buckets of it. Willingly." He turned around on his bed to lay on his stomach with one arm hanging off the sides, and turned his head to give his cell-partner a mournful look.

Kakashi watched him from over the top of his book. It had been almost eight hours since the guard had led them back to their cell, and he hadn't shown up since. So far, they'd gone breakfast and lunch without any food being brought to them. More importantly, he still didn't have a replacement for his lost shirt, and was trying to make up for it with his blanket.

"And you haven't spoken a word in around three hours now," Naruto went on, "this is…torture…" He slowly pushed himself up from his bed and ambled over to sit next to Kakashi.

The jonin looked across at him warily, thin sheets draped over his shoulders, "what do you want to talk about?" He asked.

"Um…did you always eat healthy stuff?" The blond boy asked, "I mean, I was just wondering…"

Kakashi sighed. Typical Naruto. His student didn't like talking about too many serious things, and asking about his father seemed to have emptied his seriousness for the day. "You've seen me eat ramen," he told him, "but I'm not as obsessed. A shinobi must pay attention to health." He decided to conveniently forget about his days in the anbu, when only Gai's prodding could get him to eat anything other than ration bars.

Naruto gave a long and world-weary sigh, "well then I suppose I'm going to look like an Akimichi in a few years." He paused. "And I don't even have their cool jutsu…"

"Maa, with your energy you can eat whatever you like," Kakashi told him, shifting his book out of the way, "what brought this up?"

A slight red flush spread across Naruto's face. "Nothing," he mumbled, "it's just…hey I know what we can do! Read Icha Icha, since you…um…conveniently have one in your hand!" He eagerly leaned over the other man's blanketed shoulder.

"I thought we went over this," Kakashi shut the book.

"I thought you agreed with Sakura-chan," Naruto pouted, still reaching over for the book, "that a perverted me is better than an insane me. And I won't become a pervert, I'm immune to perverts. But I'll  _definitely_ go crazy."

Kakashi paused, trying to think of a different type of conversation. He  _really_ didn't want to share an Icha Icha book with Naruto of all people. The only person he had  _ever_ shared with was Gai, and there was an interesting story behind that one. Finally, he slid the book under his leg, and the blanket slipped off his shoulders. "I'm worried," he said bluntly, "something might have happened to our guard."

True to his short attention span, Naruto paused and then settled back in his spot, "maybe he's trying to make up for the break he missed. He looked really overworked."

"That's possible, but for eight hours?" He discarded the blanket; it was warm enough in the midday sun anyway, "we'll have to wait until Sakura and Sai come to see us."

"Yeah!" Naruto brightened, "Sakura-chan won't let us starve! And maybe Kankuro will come with them this time!"

"The boy who Sakura healed, wasn't he?" Kakashi sat back, swinging the sheet off and piling it on the bed beside him, "he'd better bring some food with him. Dinner seems rather far away at this point."

Naruto frowned, "yeah, and you have to deal with those stupid people too." He suddenly brightened, "oi! Don't think I've forgotten about Icha Icha Violence! I wanna see if Ero-Sennin's writing is as bad as Tsunade baa-chan says…" He leaned over again, putting one hand over his sensei's bare shoulder.

Kakashi sighed, wondering if he would be able to read his book properly anytime during their sentence. It remained firmly pressed under his leg, and he winced at the fact that some of the pages might have crumpled. "Alright then," he said smoothly, "feel free to test how long my sense of responsibility lasts. I'd like to know myself, actually."

Taking that as permission to continue, Naruto leaned over further, scratching against the side of the jonin's pants for the book hidden underneath. But he was suddenly distracted by a new discovery. From his position, he looked down at the waist of Kakashi's loose, low-riding grey pants, which revealed a few silver strands at the base of his stomach.

"Aha!" He exclaimed, pointing down, "so you  _are_ a natural grey!"

Kakashi wordlessly reached down and pulled the waist of his pants up as far as it could go.


	5. Late Night Voyeur

**Chapter 5 – Late Night Voyeur**

"What do you mean we can't see them?" Sakura frowned, "I just told you that I'm his wife. That qualifies me for family visits!"

In front of them, leaning back against the door of the cellblock, was a man they had never seen before. They had made their trip across half of Suna to the prisons for their second daily visit, but so far the new person charged with prisoners one-eighty-four and one-ninety-five had not let them in. Where the previous guard had been gruff but understanding, this one was relentless. He stood there running a hand through short black hair with a patronizing smile on his face.

"Nah, rules can be changed for the high-riskers," he drawled, "bring me a permission slip from Kazekage-sama stating your marital relationship  _and_ his permission, and maybe I'll consider it."

"Argh!" Sakura stomped her foot in frustration and almost squished the small package she was holding in one hand, "visiting hours will be over by then!"

The guard shrugged, "tough luck, kid."

Beside her, Sai stood staring blankly at the man. "Where is Taji-san, I though he was their permanent guard?" He questioned.

The new guard looked slightly disturbed at his lack of expression, "ah, did that loser actually fall for your claim to be his wife? He's really not suited for this…then again, he's the only one strong enough to risk allowing it. Needs to be a little stricter though."

"But…where is he?" Sai asked again, since his question still hadn't been answered.

The guard shrugged, "no idea. He took a sudden leave this morning without pay, and I'm his replacement till he drags his ass back in here."

Sakura slowly took a few deeps breaths until her frustration slid away. Then she glanced up with the sweetest look she could manage and held out the package, "jonin-san, would you at least take this to them? It's from Kankuro of the Kazekage's personal council. It has his signature, see?" She pointed to the note pinned to the top of the wrapped package. Kankuro had left for a mission that day, but he had stopped by their hotel to hand them a food package for their teammates. He'd also proceeded in thoroughly worshipping her medical ninjutsu before he'd left, which was nice…in a creepy way.

The dark-haired jonin-guard took one look at the package and crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. "Nope, you could have slipped something in there since you got it from him. Can't let that in."

"I'll show you what I could've slipped in…" Sakura said in a low voice, starting to raise one fist. Before she could deliver the skull-breaking punch she'd intended, Sai gripped her arm.

"We cannot make trouble for Gaara-san," he told her quietly. With that, he proceeded to turn to the guard a bland smile, "that is too bad, jonin-san. We will be sure to bring the necessary paperwork tomorrow. You will have written proof of Sakura-san and Kakashi-san's marriage."

Sakura groaned at the thought of what they would have to ask Gaara to do for them.

* * *

 

When the outer door of the cell swung open, Naruto leapt up and almost stumbled over his feet while running to the bars.

"Oji-san!" He yelled, "you forgot to bring us food!" He frowned when the person who came in was not their personal guard. It was someone completely different. "Oi! Where's Taji-san? I have a few words for him, cause I'm starving!"

The dark-haired man in a Suna flak jacket stepped in and scanned the two prisoners, noting the young blond and the shirtless grey-haired man. A wide smirk spread across his face, "so these are the high-riskers everyone's talking about. A kid and another exhibitionist."

"I'm not usually an exhibitionist," Kakashi added politely, holding up one finger, "I just left my shirt in the shower room. Would you mind getting me another? Taji-san said he would, but he never brought it…" He stood up from the bed and made his way over to the bars, which the guard was in the process of opening.

The new jonin raised an eyebrow, "nah. Not my problem. That idiot might have agreed to be your personal servant, but I've got other prisoners to worry about. A lot of them don't even wear their shirts, you know. Gotta learn how to put up with Nature, you sissies from Fire Country should try it."

Kakashi frowned. Going shirtless was a sign of self-confidence for the prisoners who had muscles to show off. The  _last_ thing he needed to do was exhibit was self-confidence. He followed their new guard into the corridor feeling rather uneasy, and his student trailed after them.

"Where's Taji?" Naruto asked again, now slightly worried. He didn't exactly  _like_ the man – especially since he had gone ahead and insulted his masculinity; 'average' just wasn't enough – but he was much better than this other one.  _This_ one looked at them with a look Naruto had never seen before, and he wasn't sure if it was better or worse than the looks of the other prisoners.

"What, so you can find a way to contact him? I've been in here for a while, kid, I know the drill," the guard drawled, "shut up and walk."

Kakashi noted the hint of lines at the corner of the man's eyes, indicating that he was indeed middle-aged. That brought up other possibilities. He fell into step beside him, shooting wary sideways glances, "do you have something against me too?" He asked carefully.

"You'd better not…" Naruto muttered, glaring at the jonin-guard's back, "I don't think I'm allowed to hit guards, but I'm willing to try new things."

The man paused, turning to face Kakashi and ignoring Naruto completely. He crossed his arms over his chest, "listen, I know exactly who your old man was, and frankly I don't give a damn. Never had any family to kill, never will. Don't act so high and mighty cause your father was a killer and you've got yourself a page in the bingo book, you and the kid are still a pair of idiots who did something to get thrown in here, and you're the same as the others."

Naruto felt the need to clarify, "actually, all we did was-"

"Did I tell you to speak? No? Then shut it." With that, the guard turned and continued walking, leaving Hatake Kakashi and his blond student trailing behind him, deep in thought.

When they arrived at the mess hall, the new guard didn't bother to lead them in. He simply swung the doors open and then continued on his way down the hall, presumably to collect the next set of prisoners. Naruto and Kakashi were left to enter by themselves and slowly make their way to the servery.

This time, the man standing behind the counter was scooping out brown goop on top of bowls of the brown rice that Suna was known for. Kakashi leaned over and tried to sniff out what was in it, but all he could distinguish was the presence of potatoes and something vaguely spicy.

Naruto knew what he was looking at the moment he spotted it. "Curry!" He yelled, holding out one hand for a bowl in something akin to excitement, "Lee loves this stuff, so it must be good!" After going hungry for hours on end, even that goopy broth and crunchy-looking rice seemed delectable.

"Numbers?" The server asked in a monotone, not bothering to look up from the stove.

"One-eighty-four, one-ninety-five," Kakashi supplied, groaning on the inside. He understood that curry was a rather common dish in Wind Country, but Gai's favorite food had always given him indigestion. He absently crossed his arms over his bare chest and allowed Naruto to take both of their bowls from the server.

They made their way over to the same table as last time, sitting down in the ray of sunlight over the table that no one else was about to approach. Unlike the shower room, the mess hall was  _filled_ with guards, with almost ten of them patrolling around the room. It was too dangerous to risk anything, and the prisoners were more concentrated on eating while they could anyway. But that didn't stop them from glaring openly at the half-naked copy-nin.

Naruto picked up his spoon and literally licked his lips, "this looks so good…" He dug his spoon into the rice and shoved it in his mouth.

Kakashi looked down at his own bowl and concluded that his student's eyesight heavily impaired by hunger. The slushy potatoes that floated in questionable brown liquid made his stomach turn in circles, and he had eaten some rather strange things in the past. He casually slid his bowl towards his student, "if you like you can have a second helping."

"What, really? You're awesome Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto eagerly gulped down three more spoons of curry. He paused and looked up, "um…aren't you hungry at all?"

"I don't have the same bottomless pit of a stomach that you do," he replied dryly, "help yourself." That was true; he could probably last until tomorrow, when their teammates  _hopefully_ brought them food. "Where are Sakura and Sai, anyway?" He thought out loud, "they missed visiting hours today."

Naruto paused mid-bite, realizing that it was true. They didn't have a clock in their cell and so could only tell rough time by the sun, but visiting hours were definitely  _before_ dinner. "Sakura-chan would never miss a visit, something must have happened to her!" He stood up, allowing the spoon to clatter back into the half-empty bowl.

"Calm down Naruto," Kakashi shot worried looks around at the eyes staring at them, "Sakura and Sai are perfectly capable of protecting themselves, and you know Gaara would never let anything happen to them."

"But what if Gaara found out about Kankuro's love letters to her?" He wailed, "I'm not worried because she'd never date him, but Gaara's really protective!"

"Kankuro writes love letters to Sakura?" Kakashi picked up, leaning forward, "I was not made aware of this."

"Well, pretty much," the blond boy grumbled, settling back into his seat, "I mean, they're actually 'invitations to come over to Suna for a few days', but we all know he's had a crush on her since she saved his life."

"Maa, I would think about being a good sensei and giving her some advice, but I think we all know who would wear the pants in that relationship."

* * *

 

After dinner, their new guard came to escort them back to their cellblock, and Naruto spent the time glaring daggers at the back of his head and demanding to see Taji. But the guard had long since stopped talking to them, and Naruto had to admit that he looked at Kakashi with the  _same_  look he used on the other prisoners. At least he didn't have anything personal against him.

The moment the inner door of their cell was opened, he rushed towards the small book lying on the other bed. He didn't expect to get it with his sensei right there with him, but he could at least make an attempt.

But the presence of the other jonin didn't appear, and his hands easily closed around Icha Icha Violence. Grinning, Naruto sat down and slipped the book under his leg like his sensei had done earlier, turning to see why the jonin wasn't noting the handling of his precious book.

Kakashi seemed to be in some sort of whispered conversation with the guard. His voice was low, almost threatening, but the other man didn't flinch. Naruto vaguely heard him say 'nah, I don't have to do that. This isn't Konoha, learn to deal with it' before leaving his sensei slightly frustrated. He left the cell, and Kakashi walked back inside.

"Sensei?" He spoke up, "what is it?"

"He refuses to get me another shirt, saying that most prisoners don't bother to wear it anyway," Kakashi explained with a sigh. He walked over to the bed and sat down beside his student, "laziness is truly a vice sometimes…"

"Says the laziest man I've ever met…"

"Well that's true," he tilted his head to one side, "but this is a real problem."

"It's ok!" Naruto quipped, allowing his eyes to discreetly run over the other man's chest. Frankly he rather liked the view. For research purposes, of course. After all, he aimed to have lean muscles like those one day.

"Maa…it's not," he said, "the night is going to be cold, and unlike the others, we're in the outmost cellblock. I won't freeze, but it's not going to be fun…"

"Well, that  _is_ the point of sharing body heat, isn't it?" Naruto pointed out, "we could just sleep in your bed again. That way you won't be cold and I won't wake up feeling like an icy stick."

Kakashi looked distinctly uncomfortable. With that, he frowned and scanned the room. He then reached behind him and pushed the sheets off the bed, glancing underneath them.

"Looking for something?" Naruto asked with a grin, shifting slightly so that his thigh completely covered the book.

Kakashi looked up with a thoroughly unimpressed look, "hand it over, Naruto. That's eighteen-plus material," he held out one hand expectantly.

His student's grin spread wider, "I'm not giving it up. You'll just sit and read and I'll be bored."

The jonin's hand remained out, "Naruto…" His voice went slightly lower, hinting at his exasperation.

"If you want you can find it yourself," the boy suggested airily. His hands shifted to move the book under his left leg, while Kakashi sat on his right side.

Unfortunately, the jonin had seen the slight twitch all too well, and immediately picked up on the brief flash of green between his legs. His hand reached out with lightning speed and made to slip between them.

"I'm not letting you get it that easily!" Naruto flipped over, pulling the book with him. He landed farther down on his front with Icha Icha Violence squished between the bed and his stomach. Well this was a problem; it would be revealed the moment he moved. With a feral grin, he reached underneath him to slip the book down into the side of his pants and pull his shirt down over it. It pressed against his left hip.

Kakashi's hands skillfully slipped under his chest to get at the book, but he paused when he couldn't find it. His hands moved down under his stomach to see if it was there but it wasn't, and he  _really_ didn't want to go down any further. "Where is it?" He growled slightly, removing his hands from under the boy's shirt.

"I'll tell you if you answer a question," Naruto told him, flipping over again to sit back against the pillow of the bed. The book was barely visible under the shapeless grey cloth.

"Maa, fine. What do you want to know?"

"Why do you read this stuff? I mean, there's lots of other perverted stuff, but the people who usually read Ero-Sennin's books are other perverts who go to sake places all the time to pick up women," his student pointed out, "I've never seen you do that."

Kakashi paused, wondering for the fiftieth time just  _why_ he was answering. Finally, he sat back on the sheets. "My teammates loved his books," he explained, "Minato-sensei and Rin were both captivated by the very first book he ever wrote, the one that didn't sell very well. Obito…he tried to be a rebel by reading the Icha Icha series in front of his relatives. Unfortunately they ignored him, but he eventually took a liking to them."

"I've never read any of Ero-Sennin's books," Naruto lamented, "but if Yondaime-sama himself liked them, then I should really try…"

"Maybe you can ask him for a copy of the Tales of a Gutsy Ninja," his sensei suggested evenly, "it's not being sold anymore, but that's the book he was most proud of, so he probably has the manuscript lying around somewhere."

"I will!" The blond boy exclaimed, "but first, I'll start with Icha Icha."

Kakashi held his hand out.

"It's hidden in my pants," Naruto said proudly, "I said I'd  _tell_ you where it was. I never mentioned actually handing it over."

There were a few moments of silence as the jonin took this in. But he valiantly kept a neutral expression on his face. "Naruto, do you want to hear about the time Sakura gave me a bell test?"

Naruto's expression morphed into one of curiosity. He shuffled forward on the bed until he was sitting with one leg swinging off the side and the edges of the book standing out against the grey cloth of his pants. "What happened?"

"Well, it happened a few months after you left. I wanted a redo of the bell test for old time's sake, but you and Sasuke were gone so it was only the two of us. So I decided to make things interesting by giving  _her_ the bells and trying to take them. Eventually, it came down to a taijutsu spar and the bells accidently slipped down her shirt." Kakashi's voice was low and careful, trying to convey a point. Of course, Naruto wouldn't understand  _points_ if they slapped him on the head, but it was worth a try.

His student was listening intently and feeling slightly uneasy. The book seemed to be digging into the outside of his leg. "You…lost to Sakura-chan?" he guessed.

"Of course not. I took the bells," Kakashi smiled a slightly eerie smile, hoping beyond hope that something he was doing would convey the point. Sticking his hands down Naruto's pants was  _different_ from quickly reaching up his female student's shirt faster than she could sense. It was  _really_ not something he was supposed to do, but he would do it for Icha Icha. "I did it quickly, too," he went on, "she barely noticed." He decided to conveniently omit the fact that he'd been sent to the hospital later that day.

"Pervert!" Naruto yelled. Then he turned to the other side and crossed his arms, "even Kakashi-sensei got close to her before me..." he mumbled.

The jonin waited for a few minutes while staring at the boy's back. It seemed that he still wasn't handing over Icha Icha. "Naruto…" Without thinking twice, he leaned forward and slid his hands around Naruto's waist and under his shirt, heading down. Naruto tried to leap up but his hands were too fast. Due to the sudden jerk, the book lost its secure position in the waistband of his pants and slipped down the outside of his leg to land on the floor with a soft thud that neither of them heard.

Unfortunately, they had both forgotten to take into account that Naruto's underwear was gone, which was the reason he had hid the book near his  _hip_ instead of his  _front._ Kakashi delved for the green book closer to the front, expecting to brush against the orange boxers his student usually wore underneath his jumpsuit.

Instead, the back of his hand met short blond curls and then ran directly over Naruto's exposed length, making him shiver violently at the cold tingle. The hand drew back as if burned and he leapt up to stumble to the other side of the bed.

Kakashi sat back with a mortified expression that he quickly smoothed over with his usual lazy smile. He noted the book that had fallen on the floor and quickly reached down to retrieve it, turning back to his student. "Maa...I wasn't joking," he said lightly, "you should know better than to play with my books."

Naruto crossed his arms and tried  _not_ to stare too hard at the half-naked man and remember where his hand had been, "pervert. I bet you like guys too." His words came out just slightly stumbled.

"Well I did try to confess to you, didn't I?" Kakashi's open eye crinkled with his smile, "that day when we were training with Tenzo-kun." It was the first time he had smiled fully since his mask had come off, and Naruto couldn't help but notice the dimple he had pointed out earlier.

"And you made me lose concentration too!" He said, pointing an accusing finger, "you can be really creepy sometimes, sensei!"

Kakashi simply gave him an unreadable look and sat back against the wall. He glanced over at the window, which was letting in the very last faint rays of sunlight. "Well it's too dark to read now. The season is changing and we're getting fewer hours of sunlight. It's also starting to get cold."

"Oh so  _now_ you want to talk," his student huffed, noting that the temperature had, indeed, dropped a little.

"No, I want to sleep," he clarified, "preferably for the next week or so, but I'm willing to compromise."

"Hmph," Naruto turned to point his accusing finger at the window, "I should file a complaint to Gaara about this!"

"I'm fascinated that you think Gaara has any influence on the weather."

"No, about the prison! We're completely exposed here, what if we die of the cold?"

"Nobody dies of the cold here, Naruto, it warms back up too quickly for that. It's just very uncomfortable," his sensei explained, "and you notice it more because it's so hot during the day."

Naruto simply grunted and reached over to pull the two blankets up, lying down against the pillow. Kakashi sighed and slipped under the second sheet, remaining a foot away even though that meant he was in danger of falling off during the night. With his luck, they would end up in the same position as they had been in this morning, anyway.

Suddenly, his student grinned, "this is cool, isn't it? It's like…a sleepover!"

"It is most certainly  _not_."

"Yes it is, just likes the ones Shikamaru and Chouji and Ino have. Although Ino usually sleeps with one of Shikamaru's cousin sisters, so it's really just the two of them."

"We're in prison."

He paused. "Except they have different beds. I don't think Chouji would leave enough space for another person."

"I don't doubt it."

Naruto chewed on his lip, and the jonin wondered if he should turn around and let his student prattle on to the back of his head. But he was already at the edge of the bed and he didn't want to risk falling off, or getting too close to the boy while trying to turn.

"We can talk about girls and stuff," his student burst out, "I mean,  _I_ can anyway. I've never seen you with a girl."

"I'm certain that there's isn't a single event in your non-existent love-life that you haven't already announced to the world," Kakashi replied dryly, "there's no need."

"Fine, then what about you?" Naruto asked, "I mean, what about before you met us? Even Gai-sensei was in a relationship with some anbu girl; Lee told Tenten who told Ino who told Sakura who told me."

"I remember that one…" his sensei trailed, "it was a very one-sided relationship, and not the side that you would guess." Indeed there was a reason anbu women usually only dated anbumen. Gai had seemed thoroughly confused with his stalker Firefly. He paused, and looked on in dread at his student's expectant look. It seemed that he wouldn't be getting any sleep if he didn't speak up. "People who were close to me in the past are mostly gone now," he explained casually.

Naruto's mouth dropped open, "that's so sad, sensei!"

"Well, except for Gai and you and Sakura, and Sasuke when you two manage to drag him back," he amended, "for some reason you don't seem like you're going to die anytime soon." Naruto had a sort of resilience about him; and anyone who knew him just couldn't believe that his unlimited optimism would ever be extinguished. Only the grim imagination of Hatake Kakashi could ever hope to manage it.

"So your love life is a choice between me and Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan and Gai-sense?" Naruto asked dryly, "well Sasuke probably replicates by splitting in half or something and I'm not handing over Sakura-chan, so you can just stay single."

Kakashi inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

 

When he woke up that night, Naruto had no idea what time it was. He only knew that the cell was dark and he was freezing and Kakashi wasn't there beside him.

He slowly sat up on his elbows and looked around. The faint moonlight streaming in through the window illuminated the sandy ground and the edges of the beds. The door that led to the small washroom in their cell was closed. It seemed that Kashi-sensei had taken a late-night washroom break. Naruto shivered and waited for him to come out; he was sure he had woken up due to the sudden lack of heat, and he wouldn't be getting back to sleep without it.

A minute passed and the cell was still silent. Wondering why his sensei was taking so long, Naruto slid out of bed, shivering violently at the sudden cold breeze that came in and shuffled around the cell. He stood up and lazily pattered over to the washroom door.

"Oi…sensei…" He mumbled sleepily, "hurry up. I'm cold."

The cell seemed to get even quieter. There had been a sound before, but it was so quiet and faded in the background that Naruto hadn't noticed.

"Go back to sleep," came the reply. It sounded rather strangled, and much deeper than usual.

"Fine," Naruto yawned loudly, turning to go back to the bed. He absently rubbed his arms, groaning at the goosebumps his fingers ran over.

But then he paused when the sound started again and turned back, hearing on full alert. He'd made it halfway to the bed, and he had to use every inch of ninja stealth he possessed to drift over the sandy ground back to the washroom door without making a sound.

Naruto went close enough to press one ear to the door. He stood there for a while, listening to the soft sound that emanated from the small room beyond it. The faint, wet, slicking sound familiar to the ears of any teenage boy, repeating over and over. He listened carefully; Kakashi didn't make any noise at all, but he could hear the faint creak of the basin that he was evidently gripping to hold himself upright.

As he kept his ear to the door for a few seconds, his eyes widened. There was no doubt about it; his sensei was jerking himself off less than a meter away. Naruto had the urge to shake his head violently, feeling his cheeks grow warm. But why? Kakashi-sensei was a man, after all. And besides, anyone would need daily private time if they went around with Icha Icha in front of their eyes all day.

He'd walked  _in_  on Lee once (who had taken the time to explain that such things were essential parts of the Springtime of Youth; to which Naruto had grumbled that he really didn't need to make excuses to him and that he completely understood and that he was probably using way too much lotion) and he didn't  _want_ to know how many people had walked in on  _him_. Why did hearing Kakashi feel so different?

The proper thing to do was to turn around and go back to bed.

Naruto stayed rooted on the spot, and pressed his ear more firmly against the door. He just wasn't the type of person who liked to think things through. When he wanted to do something, he went ahead and did it. It had always worked for him in the past; and Ero-Sennin had called it guts, which sounded pretty cool.

Maybe it felt different because he'd actually made him talk, not knowing that his sensei was occupied with taking care of his problem. That slightly strangled voice filled his mind. Was that what Kakashi sounded like when he was doing  _that_  with a lover? His voice slightly muffled and heavy, and almost an octave lower? Naruto had never so much as kissed someone that he  _wanted_ to kiss; imagining his sensei's perfectly sculpted form beside that of another person made his cheeks redden further in the dark.

His thoughts blanked out when the first harsh breath appeared with the sound of languid stroking. It was as if Kakashi had been trying not to make a noise, and had failed for a brief second. His voice was quieted, and the sound his hands made was alone again. Naruto could make out that his hands moved slowly, and he knew that they were moving the entire way down a length that soundedimpressive, judging by the time it took for the hand to move back down in one slide. It sounded wet too, did he spit?

He wondered if Kakashi always went at that pace; it didn't seem very efficient. Naruto thought rough, quick jerks were better, bringing him to a towering finish whenever he woke up after a fading dream that might have consisted of  _something_ interesting, even though he never remembered.

A slighter louder slick was emitted from inside, where those long fingers had evidently found a new angle. Judging by the next, quieter breath, it seemed to be a more pleasurable angle too. The strokes still sounded languid, but he was picking up a slightly faster pace, and using shorter grasps that gave more attention to a tip that was probably leaking furiously. It allowed him to make the  _wetter_ sounds as he spread it over his length.

Naruto's overactive imagination pictured Kakashi with one hand gripping the basin and the other gripping himself, strong fingers curled around his impressive length. Maybe he was leaning back to balance against the wall, with his naked chest glistening with sweat. Or maybe he was positioned the other way, to stain the yellow stucco wall with a trail of white when he finished if he wasn't fast enough to catch himself. In heat like that, it was no wonder he hadn't frozen in the cold night. Naruto vaguely remembered how those fingers had touched against his own length only hours earlier and shivered without knowing why.

With that, the slight creak of the basin came slightly louder and the slicking sound stopped. Naruto's eyes widened again when he heard his sensei draw in a single, shuddering breath that would be completely inaudible to him if his ear weren't molded against the stucco door. The soft sound of drops of liquid hitting the clay basin came next, and he held his breath, wondering what in the five countries he was  _doing_  standing there and listening to Kakashi-sensei stroke himself to completion. He wondered what Sakura-chan would think of it.

When he heard the water of the small tap running, he used the shelter of the sound to patter quietly back over the sandy moonlit ground to Kakashi's bed, where his sheets were lying in tangles. Before the door could open, he slipped under the sheets and righted them, pulling them up over himself and trying as best as he could to ignore what he had heard and act normal.

Did this mean he was some kind of pervert, because he had found it interesting to listen to the sounds? They were interesting sounds! Well, that was all right. He'd never thought of himself as perverted, mainly because he had no reaction whatsoever to the Sexy Jutsu, but most perverts turned out fine as long as they didn't stay in the closet like Ebisu-sensei, who turned out a prude. After all, there was perverted Ero-Sennin and Anko-sensei and even Tsunade baa-chan went out of her way to leer at pretty young men when she had too much shochu.

And there was Kakashi-sensei, who seemed to read Icha Icha only as some tribute to his old teammates, but secretly got off on it enough to wake up hard in the middle of the night next to his student. He wondered what the man would do if he was told that Naruto had heard every soft sound he had emitted, and knew that he had been thrusting into his hand only seconds earlier.

Naruto quickly closed his eyes as the door creaked open and a shadowed form came back through the ray of moonlight to lie next to him, covering himself with the other sheet. He opened his eyes slowly, as if waking up once more.

"Did I wake you?" Kakashi asked quietly.

"No…um…I just couldn't sleep properly," Naruto mumbled, stuttering slightly over the words.

"Well you're not doing the same amount of exercise during the day as you usually do, I suppose you would sleep lighter. The snoring doesn't stop, though."

"Aha, sorry about that, Kashi-sensei. I suppose I can try sleeping with my face to the pillow," Naruto shuffled around and did just that, mainly to hide the redness of his cheeks.

* * *

 

Later that night, one pink-haired kunoichi and her former anbu teammate stood in front of the Kazekage's desk,

"Kazekage-sama!" Sakura wailed, putting her hands on the desk, "why does it take so long to see you? We waited four hours! Why are you still working this late anyway?" Tsunade would have long gone home by this point, or out to drink.

Sakura was painfully aware that the bags under her eyes probably stood out in the pale light of the office. But aesthetics hadn't been a priority when she'd stepped into Suna for their mission, and they weren't anywhere near priority now. Her priority was to make money and head back to Konoha, where 'priorities' meant brushing hair and using expensive lotions and beating half the life out of the occasional chunin who challenged her to a spar.

"I generally do not sleep during weekdays," Gaara explained calmly, "my council likes that I use the extra time to tend to the non-urgent things that I cannot fit into my day."

"That is productive indeed," Sai commented, "how did you adopt this habit of not sleeping?" Having forty extra hours in a week meant twice as many missions.

"I had a bijuu sealed into me that forced me to stay awake," the red-haired Kazekage replied dryly.

At this, Sai quieted.

"Why have you come to see me?" Gaara asked again, "are there any problems with Kakashi-san and Naruto?"

Sakura gulped, "yes, yes there are…"

Two minutes of explaining later, the two Konoha nin were glancing nervously around the clay-lined office. Sai was glancing around to note the various positions of the Kazekage's personal covert guards, the Suna version of Anbu. Sakura was glancing around to avoid Gaara's piercing eyes.

The young Kazekage simply leaned his chin onto his steepled fingers with an unreadable look. "You…want me to declare you as Kakashi-san's wife so that you can visit him?"

Sakura gulped, "um…yeah. That would be nice." She fidgeted on her feet, shuffling around within the long brown cloak that did very little to protect her skin against the heat…and the cold. It would have been nice to go back to Konoha and show off her new tan to Ino…except she was pretty sure 'orange' didn't count as a tan. It clashed horribly with her hair too.

"Indeed, we require proof that she is family, since the new guard does not seem to be as capable as the old one, and only allows familial visits with proof," Sai told him, "it would also be nice if you could contact Taji-san and ask him to come back to duty. He was much more cooperative."

Gaara picked up a pen and made a quick note on a piece of paper on the side of his desk, "I will have this guard brought back," he told them, putting away the pen, "but you should think twice about your other request," he leaned forward again, giving them contemplating looks.

"Why is that, Kazekage-sama?" Sai asked blankly.

"If I sign that slip as Kazekage, Sakura will be legally married to him for all intents and purposes within the borders of Wind Country," he stated.

There were a few minutes of silence. Finally, Sakura laughed nervously and waved a hand in dismissal.

"Oh, well I suppose they'll just have to starve then," she squeaked, "thank you for your time, Kazekage-sama. We'll just be going now," she inched backward.

Sai remained in his spot and turned to watch her, "but Sakura-san, this is very convenient. As shinobi, we play undercover positions all the time." Sakura forced herself to take a deep breath. Sai meant well. He just needed a hug. Around the neck. Tightly.

"Yes but none of them involve the actual  _paperwork_ ," she hissed, "I'm too young to get married!"

"I have no opinion on the matter," Gaara spoke up in a monotone, "but the legal marital age in Sunagakure is fifteen years, unlike Konoha's eighteen. I believe you are sixteen, and therefore qualify." The office was silent, but Sakura thought she could hear the faint giggling of the anbu guards hidden in the corners, although it was probably just her imagination.

She groaned and ran a hand through her pink hair, "I am not getting married to Kakashi-sensei. It would be mind-numbingly awkward. What if I actually  _do_ marry sometime, and want to come to Suna for a vacation or something? And besides, just  _think_ of the mission report we'll have to write. Shishou will never let me forget it for the rest of my life…"

"Well he won't marry anyone in any other way," Sai pointed out, "and neither will you, at this rate." He winced as he thought of the bruises on his neck from the previous night. Anyone planning to share a bed with her would have to keep a few kunai under the pillow for security purposes. If that wasn't the definition of their very own Copy-Nin, he didn't know what was.

"I'm not agreeing to this!" Sakura barely managed to keep her palm away from her face.

"Besides, you seem to have a liking for brooding men with tragic backgrounds," the pale boy continued, "I'm sure you will get along well. It's only in Wind Country, anyway."

"No!" She repeated, "I don't plan on staying out of Wind Country for the rest of my life. This is a nice place, and Kankuro keeps inviting us over." She crossed her arms over her chest in frustration.

"Not 'us', Sakura-san. Only you." Sai added.

Gaara frowned, "and why is that? Is there something particular that I should know about my brother?"

"He is thoroughly smitten with Sakura-san," Sai readily explained, "I believe he wishes to go through the social norm known as 'dating' with her as the other participant."

Gaara's frown became deeper at this new revelation.

Sakura went ahead and discreetly stomped on his foot. It became not-so-discreet when she not-so-accidently added small amounts of chakra, and Sai reached down to clutch his bruised foot with the thoroughly blank expression he used when he was too distracted by pain to focus on showing emotion. She turned to Gaara with a sheepish look.

"No no, it's not like that," Sakura explained quickly, "he's just…grateful! Because…I healed him! That's all, I promise!" Her hands were waving around in an interestingly frantic pattern.

The young Kazekage settled back with an unsure expression.

"But what can we do to visit Kakashi-san, then?" Sai spoke up, "do you permit us to use more convert methods? I assure you, we will not be caught." At least,  _he_ wouldn't. Sakura-san would have to stay behind for this one, though. He let go of his foot and winced as he put it back down, noting that he would be walking rather differently for a while.

"I will find this 'Taji' first," Gaara told him, "if he is not available for tomorrow, then you may do as you wish. However, breaking into a prison merits a sentence."

"Oh," Sai stated, "never mind, then. I will agree with Sakura-san in that 'they'll just have to starve'." In the life of a shinobi, sacrifices had to be made. And ROOT had taught him that it was usually better if they were made by other people.

Sakura nodded, "well, thank you for trying to help us, Kazekage-sama." She nodded her head and turned to leave, and this time Sai turned to go with her.

"There's just one more matter to address," Gaara added from behind them.

Sakura turned slowly, "yes, Kazekage-sama?"

Gaara spoke in a dead monotone, "I would like to inform you that if you wish to…'date' my brother, Temari must be present at all times during your…'date'. Do not take this as a statement of mistrust, I simply remember reading that such activities must be chaperoned in order to prevent unwanted situations."

This time, Sakura failed in trying to keep her palm away from her face.

 


	6. Miyu and Katsue

**Chapter 6 – Miyu and Katsue**

Early the next morning, Sakura and Sai were standing in the recently rebuilt teahouse that their two teammates had previously demolished. It was still under construction and ladders were set up on either side with men restructuring the stucco walls, but the shop was open for business anyway. Although there were only two customers, grey-cloaked figures who sat at the table in the corner nursing their cups of cold tea.

"Please, oji-san," Sakura pleaded to the middle aged man behind the counter, "let it go, just this once!" She leaned forwards on the wooden to give him the best puppy eyes she could manage. These ones even worked on  _Kakashi-sensei,_ who had the mercy of the average rock. It  _had_ to work on him.

"Indeed," Sai added from beside her, "our friends are not very rich. This is troublesome for them." He tried to imitate his teammate's mournful look, but ended up looking slightly angry instead, which put the man off more than it helped.

"No way," the brown-haired man shook his head, frowning a frown that brought out every line in his aged face, "you shinobi are always going around destructing things in your stupid battles, never thinking about the civilians who have to pick up the pieces. 'Bout time some of you paid for it." He took one look at Sakura's puppy eyes and turned away, determined not to get sweet-talked into anything.

Sakura visibly deflated, sagging over the counter with sweaty hair falling over her forehead, "but-"

"Why do you think all the major wars we've had are called 'Shinobi Wars'?" The man went on, brandishing his wooden spoon at her, "cause the damn shinobi start em! So what if your friends are spending a few days in prison, they deserve it! A civilian in their place would've spent a few months!"

Her lip quivered in a manner that every little girl one day learned, a powerful weapon indeed, "but…he's my husband and they won't let me see him! I miss him!"

The man scoffed, "must be damn good in bed if you miss him after three days. Why'd you marry an older guy anyway? You look fourteen or something."

At this, she hardened, "oji-san, I am a sixteen-year-old shinobi. I do  _not_ look fourteen."

"Actually, Sakura-san-"

"Shut up Sai."

"Fourteen, sixteen, same thing when you're my age," he drawled, waving a hand in dismissal, "go away, kids. Too bad for you, but I need that funding from the council and they can do whatever they like with your friends." With that, he turned away, disappearing into the room behind the counter.

Sai looked across worried at his teammate, who was practically weeping. He knew that he should be trying harder to find ways to make money, but she seemed to be doing enough thinking for the both of them. "He didn't even listen, did he?"

"No," Sakura wailed, "he didn't. And that was my last idea too…" She crossed her arms over the counter and buried her face in them, looking completely defeated.

"It's ok," he tried awkwardly putting a hand on her shoulder, mimicking something he'd seen in the friendly norms book, "I am sure we'll find another way." After a while of balancing his hand over her shoulder bone, he decided that it wasn't working and removed it. He usually left the comforting to dickless and Kakashi-san.

"Tough luck, eh?"

Sakura wearily lifted her head from her arms to turn and address the new voice coming from behind her. One of the figures sitting at the table in the corner had removed her cloak and draped it on the chair behind her, revealing a plain-looking face surrounded by long dark hair. She raised a finger to beckon them over.

She and Sai walked over curiously, stopping by the edge of the table. The figure sitting across from the woman immediately made to stand up, dragging his hood further over his face. He made it halfway out of his seat before pausing at his companion's stern look.

"Now Taji, it's rude to leave like that!" The woman admonished, "I was just thinking that maybe you could be of some help to these poor foreign shinobi."

Sakura frowned. She reached out to tug at the hood of the man's cloak, and her eyes widened as she saw familiar short, dark hair.

"Taji-san, it's you!" She exclaimed, bursting into a grin. He sat back down, seeming distinctly uncomfortable and trying to look anywhere but at her.

"Oh, you already know him?" The plain-faced woman leaned her chin onto her hands, looking across at each of them.

"He was the guard we met when we went to see our teammates in prison," Sai explained.

"Well I suppose we all know each other, then. He was just telling me about you when you came in," the woman smiled, "take a seat, we'd love the company." Sakura gave her a smile and helped herself to a chair, and Sai pulled up an extra chair to join them.

"Why are you doing this, Yora?" Taji hissed quietly. His fingers were starting to whiten from gripping the table.

"Doing what?" Sakura picked up, looking between them with a worried look.

"Oh, nothing," Yora waved a hand dismissively, "he just gets a little worked up at times. Maybe he's jealous of his prisoner for having such a pretty girl," she winked, "the younger Hatake must have done something to catch your eye, eh?"

"She certainly chose the right one if she was going for size," the guard mumbled.

"Um…yeah…" Sakura didn't  _think_ she looked particularly attractive while sweaty and partially sleep-deprived and, well,  _orange._ And wait,  _what_  size?

"What do you mean by 'younger Hatake'?" Sai asked, giving her a blank look, "Kakashi-san does not have any children."

She laughed, "no, I'm talking about him, that 'Kakashi'. His father has quite the bad reputation here in Suna, and it seems that he looks very similar to his old man, and some of the prisoners have been picking up on it," she reached over to nudge Taji's sleeve, "I'm here catching up with you after so long, and all you talk about is work. This new position has turned you into a real bore."

"Whatever," he replied gruffly, "if you're finished with all your chatter, I'll be going." He made a move to leave.

Sai grasped his sleeve, pulling him back down gently but firmly, "you have not been in duty for two days now, the new guard who replaced you is very uncooperative," he told him, "we have asked Kazekage-sama to find you."

"Is that why that stupid paper pusher arrived at my house?" he muttered. He then looked up to glare out at the two of them, "well that's too bad for you. I'm not going back in there for as long as I can, not while  _he's_ there."

"Oh? Why not?" Yora leaned forwards, and the front of her beige kimono stretched slightly, revealing the barest hints of cleavage. Unfortunately, even this seemed a little too scandalous for the former prison guard. He'd seen the naked male anatomy more often than he'd ever needed to, but the female one was still a little lacking in his mind.

"My uncle died in the River Country massacre," he muttered, glancing away.

Sakura frowned, remembering things she'd picked up from history classes, "so Kakashi-sensei's father killed your uncle? Oh…were you close to him?" Her expression softened slightly. If that was true, then the fact that he was trying to get  _away_ from Kakashi instead of going after him with a kunai was relieving.

"Nah," he grunted, "never knew the man. But I gotta provide for my aunt, his civilian widow. And every time I go over, all she goes on about is how much she misses her husband. I can't be around him and not think about that." His fingers dug further into the wood of the table in frustration.

"While you're being plagued by those thoughts, dickless and Kakashi-san could be living under horrible circumstances with a guard who actually had a  _loved one_  killed by his father," Sai pointed out.

"Why'd you call him dickless?" Was Taji's only response, "he's a got a dick, I swear."

"When compared to  _me,_ he does not," Sai gave him a bland smile that he found utterly disturbing. Sakura reddened slightly, because she knew from their last onsen trip that he wasn't joking in the least. And that he had no qualms following her into the ladies section until Naruto had informed him otherwise.

"Ahem, there are ladies present," Yora said sternly, shooting Sakura a knowing look, "I'm more interested in how exactly they're treated. I've never had anyone killed by the infamous White Fang, but how do the other prisoners put up with having the object of their revenge so close by?"

"Yeah, did Naruto get raped in the shower or something?" Sakura asked, sounding worried. She had watched much too many prison dramas.

"They've started a few fights, but none of em were serious," Taji replied stiffly, "they're called high riskers for a reason." His hands were now sitting awkwardly in his lap and he held down the urge to get up and stalk away.

"But will they ever push the no chakra rule?" Yora seemed strangely interested, "if they get attacked, I mean."

"Nah," he replied evenly, "I know their type. They won't do anything that 'makes trouble for Gaara', because apparently the kid's friends with the Kazekage," he shot a look at Sakura, who confirmed it with a nod, "so I guess our Kazekage sticks up for em and in return they follow all the rules. Well, the blond one doesn't. Real idiot, he is."

"Not even if someone hurts them?" She pushed, "that's a little harsh, isn't it?"

"Too bad for them," he shrugged, "I'm pretty sure they won't respond even if they're attacked  _with_ chakra, actually."

"Poor Kakashi-sensei," Sakura sighed, "won't you please come back, Taji-san? They're probably starving, and sensei isn't responsible for what his father did."

He scoffed, "yeah don't remind me, I'll get by ass dragged back in there eventually whether I like it or not. But my first vacation in a month was pretty nice too. Although Yora here took up most of my time yesterday with that arrogant bastard she calls a friend."

The woman pouted, "Kuroda is not arrogant! He's just got the type of confidence that you can never seem to have, and he just wanted to talk to you after so long," she turned back to the two Konoha nin, "well, good luck with your friends, kids. And I hope you at least enjoy your stay in Suna. It's a nice place, even if our prisons seem a little rough."

"Thank you, Yora-san," Sakura smiled warmly, "and Taji-san, I hope you come back quickly."

"Sakura-san," Sai spoke up, "have you not realized what this means?"

She turned to him and frowned, "what is it, Sai?"

"They can see his face. That is why he held the book up to his face when we went to see him. They've taken his mask off."

There were a few seconds of silence.

"Well of course we took his mask off," Taji drawled, "we don't even allow them underwear and you think we'll let him keep his damn mask?" He looked questioningly at the two Konoha nin, who were looking at each other with stunned looks, "what is it with you two?"

"That's it," Sakura decided, "I don't care about the consequences, we have to find a way to get in there. We can't give up!"

* * *

 

When Naruto woke up that morning, the previous night felt simply surreal and he wondered if he had dreamed it.

He opened his eyes slowly to find that he was alone in the bed, and that Kakashi was sitting on the other one a few feet away, book open in his hand. "Ah, you're awake," his sensei smiled slightly. He had been smiling a little more often during the past day; maybe he was finally getting used to going around without his mask.

Naruto simply groaned in reply and lifted himself off from the bed, swinging his legs off and running a hand through wild morning hair. He looked out the window to see that the sun above Suna had retaken its job of boiling hot torture. At times like these, he was sorely tempted to discard his own shirt. He held back only because he knew he'd get one of the heat rashes that he was prone to.

"You stopped snoring," his sensei went on, "I was actually able to sleep properly. From now on, you should continue to sleep on your front." The book hung loosely in his hand and his chest glistened with hints of sweat. Even the famous Copy-Nin was prey to the desert.

Touching the pillow markings on his face, Naruto groaned again, "I think I almost suffocated half way," he admitted, "and that would've been a  _really_ lame way to die."

"The guard should be coming around to take us to the shower soon," Kakashi spoke up, shooting a glance out the window. For some reason, he was incredibly good at telling time by the sun, "the other prisoners have probably finished by now. You slept in."

"I…uh…couldn't sleep that well," the blond boy muttered, remembering the sounds his sensei had made. He pointed a finger accusingly, "it's all because you got up and made me cold!" It was a good a way as any to see if he had dreamed the event.

"Maa, I tried to be as quiet as possible," he said, "I didn't know people could wake up from the cold."

Well no, he'd woken up because of the slicking sounds that had travelled through the gaps in the stucco. He realized that if he hadn't found them so interesting to listen to, he could have had a great opportunity to tease his sensei. More importantly, it confirmed that it wasn't a dream. Kakashi had actually taken care of his problem in the middle of the night.

Naruto stood up at the sound of the outer door of their cell being opened, excitedly expecting to see Taji's short hair and exasperated expression. Instead, it was the same guard as before.

"Oi!" He yelled, "we want our own guard back!"

"And you really think you get to choose?" The man drawled, walking over to unlock the inner door of the bars, "get out and follow me, you're just lucky the request to have you shower apart from the others went through. Would be a real pain to break up your stupid fights." He turned to leave.

Kakashi wordlessly followed him through the corridors and Naruto sulked and dragged his feet. He didn't understand why his sensei took it so easily.

* * *

 

Taji didn't arrive for breakfast or lunch, and none of Naruto's yelling out the window seemed to change that fact.

"Oji-san!" He shouted, face pressed against the bars of the window, "come back! Bring us fooooood!"

"I don't think he can hear you," Kakashi sighed, "we're three levels up and far from the rest of the village. The only living things within hearing range are the desert animals."

"Maybe they'll bring us some food," Naruto mumbled dejectedly. He stepped away from the window and sat down beside his sensei on the bed, "sensei what's that book about?" He looked pointedly at the book held in long fingers.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him.

"I mean, it has to have a plot too, right? Between all the perverted stuff?" He went on, "Ero-Sennin likes story telling, after all. He's always using big words to make simple things sound complicated."

"That is indeed his expertise," the jonin admitted. He looked down at the book he was reading, and then closed it, figuring that this was something he could do. "It's about a man named Jio."

"Go on," Naruto leaned back against the thin pillow and placed his feet onto the bed.

"Well, he left his village at a young age to pursue his goal in life," Kakashi explained, "which is to find the most beautiful woman alive."

"That doesn't sound too bad," the blond boy nodded, "I thought it would be something  _more_ perverted. Like to visit all the sake places in the Five Countries."

His sensei cleared his throat, "that…is partly what he does. You see, he's determined to marry the most beautiful woman alive, and on the way he meets an inn keeper's daughter who turns out to be as…talented as she is pretty."

"Ah!" Naruto pointed, "Ero-Sennin told me about that one! Her name is Miyu, right? And she's the one that's really good at licking?"

Kakashi frowned, "exactly how much do you know about these books?"

"Only about Icha Icha Violence," he replied, "because that's the one he wrote when I travelled with him. He didn't tell me the plot or anything, but he said that there's two girls that the main character likes," he held up one finger, "first there's the one that's really cute and 'talented', and this is where he gets to have fun writing all the ecchi scenes. Then there's another girl who's beautiful but also really shy, and he has to do  _everything_. Ero-Sennin says he likes experience better, so Jio will probably end up with the first one."

His sensei gave him a blank look, "thank you, Naruto, for spoiling the entire series for me. I'll have you know that I was cheering for Katsue."

"That's too bad," he leaned forward, "I think Miyu is based on Tsunade baa-chan, cause he says she's always hitting people, just like baa-chan does."

"Seeing as she's also blond and a double D, I don't doubt that," he sighed, "if Tsunade-sama ever read these books I'd fear for the wellbeing of Konoha."

Naruto suddenly had an idea. He shuffled on the bed until he was sitting beside his sensei, with his back against the wall and his legs stretched out on the bed, "will you let me read the plot? You can take it away for the perverted parts, you know. I won't mind. I'm not a pervert." Well, only for the sounds. The interesting sounds that Kakashi made with his…

For a while, Kakashi was deep in thought. It would mean that Naruto wouldn't have to sit there counting grains of sand and being bored out of his mind. An occupied Naruto was an amiable Naruto. It would also mean that he wouldn't go crazy. Then again… _what_ plot?

"You can only safely read fifty pages," he informed his student dryly, "and three of those fifty pages consist of an in depth description of kimono fabric." The other one-hundred-fifty pages were either foreplay or just sex.

"Even kimono fabric is starting to sound exciting," Naruto rubbed his hands together with glee, "tell me where to start, sensei!"

Three hours later, the two Konoha nin were finally on page one-hundred-and-two. It was the forty-eighth 'safe' page in the book. Kakashi was starting to get slightly worried, but his student was completely enraptured. He made to turn to page one-hundred-and-ten, skipping the bedroom scene he knew came next.

"No!" Naruto stopped him by pushing his hand away, "I'm not done yet."

"You take almost three minutes to read a single page, Naruto," Kakashi sighed, "when exactly did you learn how to read, anyway?"

"One of jiji's paper pushers came to teach me when I was six," he quipped, "they tried to teach me before that, but I always found ways to play pranks on the people who came so they all left." His voice was perfectly even, as if he was merely reporting the weather, "and besides, if there's only fifty pages I can read, I want to make them last."

The jonin paused, frowning at the abysmal education. Most shinobi children picked up their first books at the tender age of three, and he himself remembered sitting down with his father's scrolls when he was two, barely able to hold them in tiny hands. He allowed Naruto to finish reading the page at his own time.

"This is actually getting exciting!" The blond boy said, "did something weird happen between Jio and Katsue during the last scene we skipped?"

Kakashi cleared his throat, "he…happened to say Miyu's name while he was…"

"Oh, that makes sense," Naruto interrupted, "that's why Miyu-chan is cheering him up, right? Because Katsue ran away from him and he came to her instead?" He looked up at his sensei with eyes filled with curiosity.

"Right," the jonin replied, "I dislike that scene…" He was staunchly on poor Katsue's side. She was a sweet girl who only wanted to achieve her humble dreams of being a civilian medic, unlike the fiery Miyu who ambitiously longed to leave her father's inn and find a life somewhere else.

"I like Miyu," Naruto told him, "she's so exciting!"

"But Katsue would be heartbroken," Kakashi tried, "she likes him more." Noting that they were finished with the page, his fingers slipped farther down into the book, seeing out the next 'safe' page.

"Miyu has guts," his student maintained, "when she realized that she liked Jio, she went right up to him and told him!" He pulled the book back.

"Katsue's feelings are much more subtle," the jonin put forth, "she's cultured, and knows how to deal with things delicately."

"Yeah well she's  _too_ delicate," Naruto stuck his tongue out, "Miyu is awesome! I bet she'll totally seduce him so that he'll never think of Katsue again!" He flipped to page one-hundred-and-three.

"Naruto…" Kakashi's voice was low in warning. He tried to take the book back, but Naruto already had a death grip on it.

"I'm reading this one at least, sensei," the blond boy informed him, "you can let me, or risk harming your book."

Kakashi sat back and thought about it.  _This_ scene was not as bad as the others, but it was bad in a different way. Jio and Miyu were interrupted halfway, but before that she had…

But his eyes were already stuck on the page, and he sighed and leaned over, asking himself how on earth his life had come to reading porn with his student.

The two characters began to kiss passionately after Jio had confessed his one night with Katsue, and Miyu had somehow forgiven him, only because of how it had ended.  _"I'll make you say my name again…"_ She whispered to him,  _"and this time you'll yell it to_ me _…"_

Naruto read, completely engrossed, as Jio leaned over to kiss her neck, slowly undoing the wide sash of her kimono. He read about how her silky clothes fell to the floor in a discarded heap and her slightly rough hands ran over Jio's bare chest. They moved down to push his pants away, allowing the cloth to pool at his feet.

"Ero-Sennin's writing gets better in the ecchi scenes," he commented, reaching over to turn the page.

"Yes," Kakashi muttered, "the prose flows much more smoothly." Jiraiya-sama truly did have a talent for writing. It was just that after Tales of a Gutsy Ninja, his talent had only manifested itself in flowery descriptions of anatomy.

"Is she going to lick him now?" Naruto asked, reading as slowly as ever. Miyu was slowly trailing soft kisses down his stomach, her fingers tracing the line of delicate hairs that led to-

Kakashi wordlessly reached over to pull the book away. He did it so quickly that his student barely noticed until it was hidden behind his back.

"Aw, no fair!" Naruto growled, "It was just getting to the best part!" He reached for the book.

"My sense of responsibility came back from its vacation," the jonin replied stiffly, "reading time is over." He sat back with book under his leg.

Naruto decided that this time, he wasn't giving up too easily. He put one arm on the older man's shoulder and pulled himself across, hand heading to slip under his leg and retrieve the prize.

But his hand paused just as it reached Kakashi's upper thigh, because he was so close to another region. He glanced down at the jonin's lap for a second, noting the barest hints of a bulge since his pants were stretched across it, and he wasn't wearing underwear under the grey cloth. Just hours ago, his sensei's hand had been there, stroking and touching and spreading his leaking fluid over himself…

"What exactly are you two doing?"

The two Konoha nin froze, and Naruto looked up quickly. He burst into a wide smile at the sight of Kankuro of the Kazekage's Council standing in the outer doorway. The guard standing beside Kankuro was too busy glaring at him to notice their position, and Naruto quickly sat back and pointed an accusing finger.

"Kakashi-sensei won't let me read his book!" He declared.

Kakashi merely shrugged his shoulders and positioned the book more firmly under his leg.

"This isn't an entertainment facility," the guard said evenly, "I'm not even sure why you have a book with you, but you're the troublesome ones with all of Kazekage-sama's exceptions. You're supposed to spend this time thinking about what you've done wrong."

"I haven't  _done_ anything wrong," Naruto protested, sliding off the bed and running to the bars, "we're in here because of a mistake, right Kankuro?"

"Um…" the Suna boy looked slightly nervous and rubbed his head, not knowing what to say.

"Ch. Kankuro-sama, you have ten minutes," the guard told him. Then he turned and left the room. Kankuro looked back at the two Konoha nin, and stepped forward. He came to the bars and held out a wrapped package, and Naruto's mouth watered the moment he saw it.

"This is just something Sakura-san sent," he told him, "apparently she's not allowed in here, but I have clearance and I decided to bring it for her."

Kakashi reached out and took the package before his student could swallow it whole, wrapping and all. He pulled it open to isolate the two paper cups of rice and packets of seasoning, and passed one to Naruto, who grabbed it and immediately ripped it open. Holding the other, he turned back to Kankuro.

"We appreciate it," he nodded, "our old guard disappeared, and the new one is not too cooperative."

"Yeah," Naruto mumbled around a mouthful of rice, sitting back on the bed to eat, "he's horrible. I want Taji back."

"Aha…I don't really know anything about that," Kankuro admitted, "I'm just here because Sakura-san agreed to out with me if I cancelled my mission to deliver this."

There was sudden silence in the cell. Kakashi inwardly groaned and then looked back at Naruto, who had paused mid-bite. The blond boy slowly put away his food and stood up, coming back to stand by the bars.

"You're not allowed," he said carefully, "Sakura-chan likes  _me._ "

"Well I'm sure she does…but as a brother, you know?" Kankuro shrugged, "she spent all those hours saving my life, and I couldn't help but fall for her a bit."

"She's turned into a wonderful young lady," Kakashi agreed, not knowing why he was speaking up.

Naruto looked thoroughly unimpressed.

"I won't hurt her or anything," the Suna boy went on, "you have my word that she'll have a great time at dinner tonight. In fact, I even found this new dining place-"

At that, Naruto burst into laughter, " _you_ hurting  _Sakura-chan_?" He wiped tears from his eyes, "that's too funny!" Kakashi silently agreed that he probably wouldn't be able to lay a hand on their teammate without her pulling a Tsunade.

Kankuro didn't find it very funny, "well I only came to tell you that," he huffed, "have fun in prison, kid." He smoothly put in the fact that he was older.

"Oi! Wait!" The blond boy protested, arm reaching out through the bars, "you can't do this! I wanted to take her on her first date! She was my friend for longer, you know! You can't-" He watched miserably, arm still outstretched, as Kankuro exited the room.

Kakashi patted his shoulder, "well, it's not her first date," he sighed, "it's her second."

"What?"! Naruto turned to give him a sharp look, "who was her first?"

"Lee. With you and Neji and Tenten away, we decided to have a teacher-student team challenge, and Sakura and I lost because of a little bad luck. She had to go on a date with Lee and I had to go around all day carrying Gai on my back."

His student winced, "that sounds horrible."

"It was. He's rather heavy and dragging him to the washroom after 'piggyback training' was pure torture." Kakashi winced, "and he's not much of an acorn anymore either…"

* * *

 

Later that evening, the two other members of Team Kakashi were once again gathered in Sakura's hotel room.

"You can turn around now," Sakura announced.

Sai removed his hands from his eyes and turned around to see his teammate standing near the bed. She was running a hand through her hair, looking thoroughly agitated. It may have had something to do with the long, light pink kimono she had just changed into. His anbu-trained eyes ran over her form, noting that her attire was completely unsuited to running.

"Is that necessary?" Sai asked blankly, "the rental was almost a thousand ryo."

"Well he's picked out somewhere fancy, and as a council member he's pretty rich too," she groaned, "now  _I_  have to look the part. Why can't he take me to a dango place or something?" She reached into her pack and pulled out a small red clip, slipping it into her hair. Hopefully it would keep the sweaty pink strands away from her face.

"I suppose it is a must," the pale boy agreed, "he cancelled his mission to help us, after all. I believe that merits social gratitude."

"The things I do for my teammates…" Sakura muttered, looking herself over in the mirror, "how do I look, anyway?"

"As horrible as always, Sakura-san," Sai replied brightly.

"Well I'm sorry I asked," she muttered, knowing that this was the boy who thought Tsunade-sama herself 'looked like an old lady' and Yamanaka Ino 'had the nose of a pig'. Frankly this was the best she'd looked in weeks. Then she took a deep breath, "ok, I only have to figure out a way to scare him off. How hard could it be to scare off one guy?"

"It seems easy indeed. You do it on a daily basis."

"Shut up, Sai," she deadpanned, "Kankuro is a persistent one. But he won't last long when I show him what a thoroughly uncultured, unfeminine and socially inept girl I am," a feral grin spread across her face. This was going to be fun.

"If you were unfeminine you wouldn't be wearing your sash tight enough to actually imitate curves," Sai commented, "and if you were socially inept, you would go in your kunoichi outfit."

Sakura brightened slightly, "so you think I'm feminine and lively?"

"Completely uncultured, thought," he replied bluntly, "you need no help pretending in that area."

The smile was replaced with an exasperated look that was beginning to look completely at home on her face. Sakura pulled on her cloak and stomped over to the door. Sai came behind her, dressed in his shinobi outfit with a grey cloak thrown on top for protection against the heat and – on the way back – the cold. Kankuro had reluctantly agreed to have him there as 'chaperone', only because otherwise Gaara would send Temari instead. And they had all agreed that that would be a  _bad_ idea.

* * *

 

One hour later, Haruno Sakura was seated on her knees across Kankuro, who had actually gotten them a private dining room. A table filled with the tastiest dishes found in Sunagakure separated them, and Sai sat on the third side, regarding the food with complete nonchalance.

Sakura's mouth watered by just looking at the spread, and her hands yearned to reach for her chopsticks and gulp it all down Naruto-style.  _No!_ Inner Sakura admonished,  _stop thinking about the stupid food, you have a guy to scare away!_

"How do you like it here so far, Sakura-san?" Kankuro asked lightly, a soft smile on his face. He calmly reached for his chopsticks and a bowl.

"It's been…um…nice," she replied.  _The hell are you doing?! You're not supposed to make small talk!_

"We've had lots of fun," Sai added with a bland smile.

Kankuro turned to give him a look that clearly said 'I didn't ask you'.

Sakura took her own bowl and picked up a pair of chopsticks in the other hand. Her eyes scanned over the dish, noting the supreme quality of the clay it was made of, and the beautifully glazed pattern painted into it. She discreetly sent a small amount of chakra into her hand, and the bowl shattered and fell onto the floor in pieces.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, moving the cloth of her kimono away from the clay dust, "sorry, that happens sometimes," she said smoothly.  _Take that, cha! How do you like a girl who can't control her own super-strength?_ She looked up, expecting to see a disapproving look on his face. Instead, he looked completely smitten.

"Oh don't worry, Sakura-san!" He turned to rap twice on the floor, and footsteps approached from the hall outside, "how did you get so strong?" There were stars in his eyes.

"I…um…trained," she stuttered, watching as one of the waiters immediately came in to sweep away the broken pieces. He shot her an  _extremely_ disapproving look, and she wanted to sink into the floor.

Sai calmly continued eating.

"Did I mention that you look really nice today?" Kankuro went on as if nothing had happened, "the color pink suits you so well. I only wish we had Konoha's beautiful Sakura blossom trees here in Wind Country too."

 _Could you get any more flowery?_ Inner Sakura wondered. "You look nice too, Kankuro," she told him.  _Why are you complimenting him? All those kunoichi lessons have rotted your brain!_

"So how many days until you return to Konoha?" He went on, "you know, there's a Suna art show tomorrow-"

"Is there?" Sai inserted smoothly, "I would love to go."

Sakura groaned quietly and Kankuro shot him a quick glare, as if daring him to interrupt again. When the pale boy sat back, he continued.

"And we don't have any onsen like you do in Konoha, but there are some rather beautiful oases in the desert that we could visit during the day," he tapped his chopsticks, and then turned back with excited eyes, "and at the end of next week we have the Shodai Kazekage's festival, the anniversary of the day Sunagakure was founded."

His genuine excitement tore at her heart, and Sakura felt bad for what she had to do. But she really didn't like him in that way, and this was the nicest way she could think of rejecting him. She put a wide smile on her face.

"Sounds interesting!" She picked up a brown slice of  _something_ from a plate nearby and savagely shoved it into her mouth, chewing furiously.  _And again, cha! Zero table manners!_

"Great!" He laughed, "and it's nice to see that you're enjoying the food! Do you like that one?"

She chewed. And chewed. And chewed. When she'd finally swallowed the stupid chewy stuff, she smiled, "it's not bad." It really wasn't, once she got around the chewiness. She reached for another with her chopsticks.

"It's a delicacy here, you'll never find it in Konoha," Kankuro told her, "it's Tanuki meat."

Sakura withdrew her empty chopsticks and stared awkwardly around the room, trying not to think of the bite of  _adorable_ animal she had just swallowed. This was not going well. Why wasn't he the least bit frightened, or disgusted?Why was he still staring at her with that goofy smile?

Sakura felt like banging her head against the table. Kankuro was still giving her that goofy smile, completely oblivious to her desire to toss him into the nearest brothel and run out of the country. Sai continued eating his food. Well, at least someone was enjoying himself.

At that moment, the sliding door opened and another waiter entered. She bowed her head slightly, "we hope you are enjoying your stay. Would you like any drinks to accompany your meal?

"Oh, what the hell," Sakura grunted, "bring me some shochu."

Sai inwardly groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, 'Jio' is fanon, Miyu and Katsue are made up. If anyone else likes Yukio Mishima they'd know where I took the name from (^^)


	7. Learning from Sensei

**Chapter 7 – Learning from Sensei**

Twenty minutes later, Kankuro of the Kazekage's Council was thoroughly shocked at the transformation his beautiful date had gone through. When she'd first arrived in that lovely pink patterned kimono that matched perfectly with her hair, he'd been overjoyed. Now…

"A-and then…" Sakura drunkenly slammed one fist on the table, sending three gourmet dishes crashing to the floor, "guess which Copy-Nin had to carry Gai-sensei on his back? That's right, it was Kakashi-sensei!" She laughed vigorously.

"Oh." Kankuro blinked, "I thought it might have been the other Copy-Nin." He sat stiffly, hands placed on his rigid knees as he watched his date, who had her pink hair unpinned and her beautiful kimono now daringly open, giving him interesting hints of the skin-colored straps underneath. This really wasn't the way he'd planned to see that.

"Sakura-san, I think that's enough," Sai spoke up. He reached over and quickly grabbed the cup of shochu from her fingers, and her drunken attempts to regain it weren't nearly fast enough for success.

Sakura pouted and shuffled over, causing the neck of her kimono to slip slightly further off her shoulder. She stumbled halfway, falling directly into Sai's lap. Instead of getting up and turning red enough to contest a ripe apple like she usually would, she emitted a raunchy laugh.

"Sai! There's two of you! Which is great, cause one's never enough! Never enough emotion!" She stared at his neck, and then traced a finger down it, "why're you so paaaale Sai? I mean, there's creamy, and then there's paaaale."

He removed her fingers from his neck, and then turned to Kankuro with a bland smile, "I apologize on her behalf, Kankuro-san. Sakura-san cannot hold her sake very well."

"I can…see that," he managed, still sitting very stiffly. One part of his brain was slightly jealous that the  _strong and lovely_ Sakura-san's chest was pressed up against the otherboy. The other part insisted that Sakura-san wasn't so  _lovely_ anymore after a few gulps of shochu.

"Maybe I should take her back…" Kankuro trailed, trying not to look  _too_ closely at the open neck of her kimono. The pale boy, on the other hand, was having no trouble at all keeping his eyes away. Maybe he was gay. His clothing supported that distinct possibility.

"It's alright, I think I will have to do that," Sai told him, holding Sakura's hands so that she didn't leap to tickle his exposed stomach. Not that he was ticklish anyway, that had been stripped away with ROOT's conditioning. "Sakura-san's personality seems to reverse when under the influence of sake," he explained, "she'll probably say embarrassing things and eventually try to take her clothes off." He said it all in a thoroughly blank tone that was frankly quite disturbing.

Kankuro gulped at the thought of Sakura-san taking her clothes off, which had been his primary fantasy…until a few moments ago. He stood up slowly, "I will take care of the meal and the…uh…room," he looked around at the food stains and the few broken dishes that littered the place, "er…take her back safely."

"Kankuro!" Sakura slurred, looking up at him from her position in Sai's lap, "you! You're my…problem…" She continued to point, but had forgotten what she was saying and was instead stared at him with a confused expression.

"Problem?" Kankuro pushed. Did she like him back after all? Maybe he could put up with some occasional drunkenness…

"Yeah!" She said loudly, suddenly remembering, "you keep…asking me out! You know how hard it is to get asked out?"

"It's hard?" Kankuro was now completely confused.

"Don't listen to her," Sai advised, "she's not thinking clearly."

"Oi! I'm thinking loads clearly," she drunkenly stated her point by gesturing with her arm, which made her lose her balance. To regain it, she ended up elbowing him in the pants, and he readopted his completely blank expression of pain while moving her arm away from his crotch.

"It's hard thinking of ways to get you to not like me," Sakura explained, "I mean, how much can a girl  _do_?"

Kankuro watched her, tilted his head to one side, "not…like me?"

"H-how…do I make you not like me," She gave him a mournful look, sniffing slightly.

"I'm…um…sorry," he stuttered, "sorry for…er…inconveniencing you." His heart sank slightly, but he supposed that he could always try again later on, when her hands  _weren't_ on another guy's crotch.

"Yeah!" She pumped one fist in the air, "success!-Sai, get your hands off my butt!"

Sai, who had simply been trying to push her off his lap, raised his hands in surrender, deciding that he would be in trouble if she decided to use her strength while drunk. Their team had already destroyed one building, and this restaurant seemed much more expensive than the teahouse had been.

"I need to help you stand up," he explained.

"I'll do that myself," she scoffed, stumbling back into his lap when she tried.

"Are you…sure you don't need any help?" Kankuro questioned. Even though he had gotten over his ruined date, he still saw two Konoha nin in clear need of aid.

"No," Sai told him sadly, "I would accept, but Sakura would kill me if someone else saw her like this. She only trusts me because she knows that I've gone through anti-emotional conditioning."

Kankuro blinked, "that…that explains so much," he breathed, "you should wear a sign, or something."

"I'll keep that suggestion in mind," he replied honestly, "now it would be nice if you could leave now. We'll take the window."

He left, and Sai looked down at his teammate, who was desperately trying to stand without toppling over. He sighed.

* * *

 

When Sai arrived through the window of Haruno Sakura's hotel room the next morning, he wasn't surprised at all to find her still in bed. The blankets were wrapped around her form tightly.

"Just kill me," she whimpered, "do it. I don't mind. I've lived a fulfilling life. It's time." Sakura buried her head further into the soft pillow and tried to ignore the way it pounded while she sent her green chakra flowing through her system, desperately trying to fix everything.

"I'm not permitted to kill teammates, Sakura-san," Sai informed her, approaching the bed, "and Kankuro-san has been effectively dealt with."

She groaned, "Alright, if I can't die now, go ahead and tell me what happened. What did I do?"

"You informed him of your plan to make him dislike you, and he seemed strangely fine with it. I don't think he has completely given up on you, but he will wait a while."

"And…that's it?" She asked hopefully. That wasn't too bad. As long as things wouldn't be  _too_ awkward between her and Kankuro, she would be fine. The entire point had been to do shocking unfeminine things, after all.

"On the way back, I think you tried to molest me. You had the wrong angle, though. I'm still sore." Sai shifted slightly, "very sore."

Sakura emitted another groan, "I'm  _really_ sorry, Sai. I  _really_  can't remember a thing." Her voice came out incredibly dry, but getting up to find a glass of water was out of the question given the state of her head. Her face remained pressed into the pillow.

"If you like I can teach you how to do it properly," he suggested promptly, "in case you need to learn for future endeavors-"

"Shut up." She pressed her reddening face further into the pillow. It wasn't her fault her drunk self felt the need to do these things without a  _speck_  of experience! None! Absolutely zero! Not even a first kiss! She was as inexperienced as they came, but when sake was involved, Inner Sakura seem to leap onto anyone wearing pants!

He looked vaguely crestfallen. Not because he could feel any physical attraction, but because he had felt like teaching his teammate something after all the things she'd taught him. "I suppose you also don't remember trying to take off your kimono," he went on, "you're still wearing it. Partially."

She leapt up at that, pulling the blankets with her. With a sinking feeling, she realized that the pink kimono was pooled around her waist, where it had slipped down during the night.

"This is not good!" She gaped, looking at the food stains, "I can't return this! It's ruined! Why on earth did you let me wear it to bed?"

"You wanted me to take your clothes off yesterday too," He explained, "I thought you would appreciate it if I didn't. You tried, but the clasp of your undergarments seemed a little beyond your skill level at the time."

She held her pounding head, "ugh. Sorry, you did the right thing. Here's what you can do now," she slid back down, "go pay off this kimono with the money we have so far…there goes five thousand ryo…"

He nodded, "do you want to go to the hospital, after that?" He eyed her messy hair and slightly bloodshot eyes.

"No," she sat up again, new determination in her eyes, "I'm a medic, Sai, this will be gone in a few more minutes. For now, we have to find a way to see Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. I will  _not_ give up, not if I have to go through a hundred hangovers!"

Sai simply winced at the thought of the previous night repeating anytime in the near future. He really was sore.

* * *

 

When the new guard led them to the showers the next day, Naruto was in a worse mood than usual. He stalked down the corridors to the shower room with the expression of someone being led to their gallows.

"Two days," he muttered, "Taji-san has been missing for  _two days._ Don't you people have search and rescue services?!"

"We do," the guard said, "we just don't update the prisoners."

"Well you should! We're worried about him!"

"Shut up, I'm not in the mood for lame chatter and Sakumo's bastard isn't either." He shot a casual glance at Kakashi, taunting him. Naruto fisted one hand in warning.

"Stay calm," his sensei instructed him quietly. Naruto waited for the signature hand to fall on his shoulder, but it never came. He looked up curiously to see that Kakashi was walking a few feet away, slightly more slouched over than usual. At this point, he had seemed to become perfectly comfortable with his lack of shirt.

Naruto still found it slightly fascinating to stare sometimes. He added it to his list of pervert-indications. At this rate, he would fill Ero-Sennin's shoes in no time. It wasn't a completely bad idea, Ero-Sennin could be really cool when he tried. Which admittedly wasn't very often.

They stopped in front of the shower room door and the guard followed them in, paranoid bastard that he was. At first, Naruto had wondered why they were so particular on showering; most of the prisoners in Konoha thought a little body-odor was manly. But with the desert sun blaring down on them every day, they didn't have a choice.

Kakashi paused slightly after removing a towel from the rack, and watched his student from the corner of his eye. He stood there for a few seconds holding the towel, as if waiting for Naruto to choose a stall first.

"Oh ew, this one's already wet," Naruto wrinkled his nose slightly and put a towel away, wondering how on earth the towels that Taji had  _sworn_ were washed daily could be dirty. It seemed that there were disadvantages to showering after the other prisoners. He sifted through the rack, feeling each towel to make sure they were completely dry.

"This isn't a hotel, kid. Pick a damn towel," the guard told him rudely.

Realizing that he wouldn't move very quickly, Kakashi quickly swung his towel over his shoulder and entered the nearest stall, drawing the screen behind him. Naruto finally found one that he was satisfied with, and walked over to the stall beside the one his sensei had gone into. He took a moment to stick his tongue out at the guard standing outside before slamming the shower curtains closed, as best as one could slam curtains. The guard's footsteps receded, probably to go sit on the far side of the room.

The sound of running water started from the stall beside his, and he reached out to turn on the shower, feeling warm water spray down on him. The showers were made of the same stucco as every other building in Suna; a soft, clay-like material that was formed from the sand. It allowed a startling amount of noise to pass through, and he could clearly hear Kakashi's form disrupting the water in the stall beside him.

Naruto scrubbed himself down quickly and then stood to luxuriate in the spray. Suna's prisons were horrible, but their water was warm and wonderful, really the only kind that could be found in the desert. He vaguely recalled Kankuro's visit the previous day, and how he'd said he had a date with Sakura.

Hah! His Sakura-chan would've shown him to the door!

In that train of thought, he frowned as he remembered how Kakashi-sensei had staunchly refused to let him read Miyu's bedroom scene. It was completely unfair; he'd just wanted to know how people did that. Iruka-sensei had stuttered through basic sex education at the academy while the students giggled endlessly, but Ero-Sennin made everything much more interesting.

For instance, Iruka-sensei had never told them about stroking or licking, and that seemed to be the main theme from what Ero-Sennin had told him about Icha Icha. Stroking seemed straightforward enough; the person just did the same thing he did with his own hands. But how did licking work? He'd really wanted to read about Miyu-chan's talent, and Kakashi had taken the book away at the  _wrong_ time…

He stood still under the shower, closing his eyes while he ran a hand through his wet hair. The guard was probably waiting. Naruto reached out to turn the water spray off and grabbed the towel from over the door. Just as the water of his shower squealed to a stop, he heard a different sound.

This time, it was slightly louder. He didn't know why it was louder; they were the same stucco walls as in the cell, after all. But it was, and the sound of heavy breathing and stroking muffled by running water was unmistakable. The image of Miyu came suddenly into his mind.

Naruto stepped to the side, still soaking wet with the towel draped over one shoulder. He placed his hands on the wall and turned his head to press his ear against it. Yes, it was definitely the same sound. Kakashi-sensei was stroking himself in the shower. Was it because of all the Icha Icha he had read the previous day, after he'd decided not to let the book anywhere near his student again?

It probably was. Icha Icha was made for that reason; when he'd first found out what it was about, he'd wondered why his sensei wasn't permanently aroused.

Kakashi's strokes were languid, like the last time. He didn't try to keep his breathing down, since he probably thought it was hidden by the sound of the water. Naruto listened, fascinated, to his deep breaths, which came and went in perfect coordination with each slick of his hands. He could tell that he was already leaking from the sticky sounds, and standing slightly away from the spray of the water to increase the sensitivity.

He thought of Miyu-chan from Icha Icha again. Imagining her licking skill made him shiver slightly. The Miyu in his head was different from the one Ero-Sennin had described, because thinking of Tsunade baa-chan that way was weird. She was beautiful, but she was also fifty.

Instead of the long, silky blond hair that trailed to her waist, Miyu had short yellow strands cut close to her head, almost boyishly. Instead of having breasts that would make carrying her a real chore, she was small and lithe. He kept the bright kimono colors in his mind, though. They seemed to fit well; Miyu would wear something bright all the time, unlike the conservative Katsue.

His ear was still molded against the wall, and he realized that the sounds were coming from a little to the right. That was strange, since Kakashi-sensei seemed to be standing on the far side of the stall. Naruto frowned and shifted over, still dripping with water.

He stilled when he saw the small crack in the wall. It had a small, tapered hole in the centre, which was allowing the sounds to come through louder than expected.

Was he really about to do this? Would this catapult him into official perverseness? So far, he'd only liked the sounds, because…well, he didn't know why he liked them. He just thought the heavy breathing and slicking of Kakashi-sensei's erection were interesting to listen to. But this was different. He would actually  _see_ what was being touched, and watch his sensei during his most private time.

Naruto decided that he didn't like over-thinking things. He shuffled over further and pressed his eye to the tiny crack, straining to keep his sight in focus.

Kakashi was leaning against the far wall, on the other side of the shower spray. A small torrent of water ran between him and the crack in the wall, and Naruto had to squint to see. When he did see, his eye widened.

His sensei's perfect form was bent over just slightly, and his arm was held out, palm pressed to the wall for support while his fingers were bent against it. His was looking downwards at the wall, his expression hidden behind the outstretched arm. For some reason, Naruto found a mild pang of disappointment that he couldn't see Kakashi's face. It would have been interesting to see what he looked like when touching himself. But any frustration quickly melted away when his eyes swept down the lean form, all the way to the right hand that grasped his arousal.

Naruto couldn't see very well through the water spray, but what he did see was just as perfect as the rest of his form. Kakashi's hand was spread over his impressive erection, stroking slowly, languidly. His fingers brushed against the head, probably drawing more of the leaking fluid and spreading it down over the length. Naruto squinted as hard as he could, but he couldn't see the drops he knew were there. The water blurred his view.

He imagined Miyu again. Naruto didn't know exactly how it was done in Ero-Sennin's books, but he knew it involved literally licking. He thought of Miyu on her knees, stroking his arousal with her fingers while her tongue darted out to lick his tip, and he felt himself twitch.

Eyes widening, he glanced down to see that his sensei wasn't the only one who needed relief. But how? Why had he gotten hard from watching Kakashi-sensei's naked form?

Naruto figured it was probably his thoughts of Miyu. She was from  _Icha Icha,_ after all, she was a character made to get perverts hard. It didn't matter that he'd completely changed her image in his mind, or that he was only blindly guessing what she could do with her tongue from the bits and pieces he knew of licking. Naruto's eyes remained focused on Kakashi's form. His hand ambled down to hold himself, and jacked experimentally.

He began with the rough, full jerks that he always used, the ones that quickly brought him to shudders of pleasure. But watching Kakashi made his hand change in its rhythm, instead settling into something that mirrored his sensei's actions. When Kakashi-sensei moved his index finger lightly over his tip, Naruto did the same and almost lost his stance at the new feeling that spread through him.

This probably wasn't one of the things he was supposed to learn from his jonin-sensei.

He grinned slightly at the thought. But the two images, one of Kakashi in front of him and the other of Miyu's tongue flicking against the tip of the erection she was licking, brought him to another sudden wave of pleasure and he had to bite his lip to stay quiet. He continued stroking, watching the blurry image of his sensei's arousal and the incredible clear image in his head.

Kakashi's hand slid down to stroke the base of his length slowly. Naruto wanted to quickly finish himself with a few more rough jerks, but his hand thought otherwise, and followed what he was watching. His eyes clouded over with pleasure at the feeling, but he managed to keep his vision as sharp as possible as he watched.

This was it, he was a…what did the girls at the onsen call Ero-Sennin? Right, a  _voyeur._  A word that sounded all fancy and complicated but was simply used for someone who got off on watching other people naked. Naruto preferred the word 'pervert', which was a lot simpler. He didn't understand why people used fancy words when they could make the world much easier and use simple ones.

And besides, Kiba had had a theory about perverts. He had thought that the stronger the shinobi, the more perverted. It made sense, when Naruto thought about it. Sandaime-jiji had been a secret fan of Icha Icha, Tsunade baa-chan liked to leer at younger men, Ero-Sennin…was Ero-Sennin, and Kakashi-sensei's hand wrapped around his cock spoke for itself. And they were four of the strongest Konoha shinobi he knew.

He mewed slightly as his hand imitated another long stroke, badly wanting to finish quickly. But his hand wasn't letting him; it was going at sensei's pace, and he was going slowly. In his hazed vision, the two images came together and it was Miyu kneeling there, flicking at his arousal with the tip of her tongue.

How was Kakashi-sensei able to stay so quiet when his hand was moving like that? Naruto could only stumble slightly with less experienced fingers, but he was already struggling to stay silent. He turned a groan into a cough and then realized that he was already at his edge. Naruto's eyes shot upward to where Kakashi's face was still out of view behind his arm, before he came suddenly, coughing vigorously to prevent his moans from escaping.

Curious to see Kakashi finish, he stayed in that position for a few more seconds. His eyes now stayed on his sensei's face, wondering if he would catch a glimpse if his arm moved. When the jonin finally came, Naruto was left slightly disappointed that he couldn't get a clear view of his face, or of his spurting behind the stream of water. The daydream of Miyu had disappeared, but he realized something that confused him slightly.

Why had it been  _Kakashi-sensei_ that she had licked in his imagination?

When no answer came, he turned on the shower again for a brief moment to wash away the mess. Then he wiped himself down with the towel and grabbed the grey clothing that was swung over the stall door, wincing at the sensitivity when he pulled them on.

When he walked out toweling his hair, the guard was tapping his feet impatiently, "are you sick, or something?"

Naruto shook his head, remembering his coughs, "my throat just got dry for a second."

"Good, cause you don't  _want_ to know what the sick cells are like," the guard's grin was feral, and  _not_ good, "the hell took you so long anyway? Next time I'm dragging you out of there, kid."

Naruto gave him a look of absolute horror.

"I believe  _that_ would be harassment," an even voice spoke up. They both turned to see Kakashi coming out of the stall. He was shirtless, and his grey hair dripped with water as he dropped his towel over his head. Naruto looked away, reddening slightly. If sensei found out he'd invaded his personal space like that…he had no idea what he would do.

"Ch. Like I care. Rules can be changed for the high riskers," the guard informed them, "get back to your cells."

Naruto hurriedly walked over to the door. There was no  _way_ he would risk a guard walking in on him in the shower. No  _way_.

Kakashi remained behind, arms crossed over his chest. He looked around the room, and sniffed slightly.

"You coming?" The guard grunted "or did your  _superior_ shinobi senses pick up on a missing-nin hiding here in the showers waiting to prey on prisoners?"

"I didn't," he said evenly, "your showers are perfectly safe."

* * *

 

Two hours before the Suna prison visiting time, Sakura and Sai were once again standing in front of the Kazekage's desk. She had come to bring up the topic of seeing their teammates. Unfortunately, Gaara seemed more interested in how her date had gone.

"You could have gone to Temari," he suggested, hearing from Sai that she'd ruined the kimono, "she would have lent you one for the purposes of this date."

Sakura winced. She  _really_ wasn't desperate enough to ask a girl she barely knew for fancy restaurant-worthy clothes. She plastered a smile onto her face, "that…wasn't necessary, Kazekage-sama."

"Indeed," Sai added, "she would have ruined it, too, when she decided to order-"

Sakura discreetly stomped on his foot. She turned to give Gaara a winning smile, "now if we could get on to talking about those marriage papers-"

But the red-haired Kazekage was interested in what Sai had been cut off from. He turned to regard the pale boy, "would you give me your version of the events, Sai-san? It is my responsibility to be concerned about these things, you see."

Sakura felt like sinking into the floor. So far, she had  _somehow_ succeeded in keeping the 'drunk' part out of the conversation, but Sai would hold nothing back.

"Of course, Kazekage-sama," Sai smiled a bland smiled, "it started out rather nicely, conforming perfectly to the 'date' subsection of my social interactions book. I played the part of a neutral chaperone, and I believe Kankuro-san was a good host. Unfortunately, Sakura-san made the mistake of ordering shochu." Well, it hadn't been a mistake. But at least he knew better than to reveal her  _plans_ to the Kazekage himself. Kankuro had probably kept quiet out of embarrassment.

"And?" Gaara leaned forward on his desk, fingers steepled. Behind him, the wide windows of the Kazekage's office opened out to a balcony, providing a beautiful view of Sunagakure. At that moment, Sakura felt rather tempted to leap off of it.

"She began to relay embarrassing anecdotes about her teammates," Sai went on, "but Sakura-san does not make much sense when she is drunk, so they weren't too entertaining."

Gaara frowned.

"At this point, we decided that she was too inebriated to continue, and I took her to her hotel room," Sai finished bluntly.

There were a few moments of silence in the Kazekage's office, in which Gaara was probably rethinking his brother's life decisions. Sakura was tempted to grab the nearest pointy thing and shove it somewhere creative.

Life just wasn't going her way. Kakashi-sensei's elusive face was just  _there_ for the seeing, and she couldn't get to it. All she really wanted to do was grab her lazy sensei and her loud teammate and run all the way back to Konoha's autumn days and cool-but-not-freezing nights, but she was stuck here. And Gaara and Sai were getting alone swimmingly, clearly bonding through their shared social ineptitude.

But she wouldn't give up. She was Haruno Sakura. When Haruno Sakura wanted something, she would go forward and take it. No mere puppet-users, or Kazekages, or sake bottles could stand in her way.  _That's the spirit, cha!_ Inner Sakura cheered her on. "Can we  _please_ get back on topic?" She pleaded, putting her hands on the desk and trying to convey her utter exasperation.

The young Kazekage nodded reluctantly, mentally noting to take some time off his busy schedule to talk with his brother. "What did you wish to discuss?"

"Um…that family visitation permit," she bit her lip, "I'm getting desperate, Kazekage-sama."

"She is," Sai put forth, "she's even willing to go in as Naruto's wife, if she can get the permit."

Gaara shook his head, and gave them both slightly pitying looks, "I discussed it with my council and they have deemed it illegal. Unfortunately I cannot sign that unless you are actually married."

Sakura's mouth dropped open, "what?  _Why_ did you speak with your  _council_?!"

"Because that is what my council exists for," he said, as if it was obvious.

"But…" she cleared her throat, "I thought we could keep this a little...hush-hush?"

"She was hoping that no one else would know," Sai added for unneeded clarification. He stood stiffly. He was still rathersore. And now his foot was hurting too. Being around Sakura-san for long periods of time tended to be painful.

"The Kazekage cannot break the law," Gaara informed them. He pulled back and reached into the drawer of his desk, bringing out a thin stack of paper. Sakura and Sai watched as he spread out the individual sheets, displaying columns of neat writing.

"These are the records for the meeting in which I lowered the sentence of your teammates," he explained, pointing to specific sections, "I called forth the shinobi rights documents, the first Konoha-Suna alliance, and sections fourteen and sixteen on international relations, which were added during the last war. It was all done through perfectly legal means."

Sakura could only stare blankly. She had thought that Gaara would have pulled some strings for them…but this was slightly impressive. That he had been able to do so much without bending a single law…

"Wow," she stated, "you…are a very good Kazekage, Gaara-san."

He seemed to smile just slightly at the praise, but it disappeared quickly. He put the documents away, "now you know that I cannot simply allow you to do this with official marriage."

She slumped. Sai thought about laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. He would have tried, if he didn't have a bruised foot. As it was, he let her go ahead and bang her forehead against the Kazekage's desk with a groan.

"It is only a little over a week," Gaara tried, feeling another inkling of pity, "I am certain that they can survive until then."

Sai realized that he still didn't know about how they treated Kakashi-san because he looked like his father. He thought about bringing it up, but that would probably cause more complications. He looked towards Sakura.

His pink haired teammate was looking up with steel in her eyes, "you don't understand, Kazekage-sama," she said carefully, "I  _have_ to see them. I understand that you can't help us, but we'll find a way. And then I  _have_ to get back to Konoha. I  _really_ miss my hair products."

"Visiting hours today will be over by the time we get there," Sai pointed out.

"Tomorrow, then," she decided, "tomorrow…I'll think of something!"

* * *

 

It took a few hours until Naruto was able to look at his sensei again without feeling the need to bang his head on something, and by that time even Kakashi had noticed that something was slightly off. His book was still in his hand, but he tore his eyes away from it to make sure the boy was still among the living.

"Naruto," he called to his student, who was sitting on the other bed, "you're being strangely quiet." His expression was as lazy as ever but his eyes were sharp.

"I'm not!" The blond boy exclaimed, "I'm just hungry and sweaty and tired and I want Sakura-chan to visit and at this point I even want to see Sai!"

"Do you like being called that nickname?" Kakashi asked evenly.

"Argh!" Naruto suddenly sat up in the bed, pointing out the window, "why won't the sun take a damn break, the bastard?"

"I don't think the sun can make those decisions," his sensei replied.

Naruto gave him a mournful look, "do you think Sakura-chan and Sai gave up on seeing us? Do I have to sit here for the next week with  _no one_ else to talk to?"

"I have every confidence that she's going to the ends of the earth trying to get in here," Kakashi told him dryly, "you don't need to worry about her resolve. It's like steel. And Sai will go along with it."

"Can we spar in here?" He tried.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, "of course we can't. There's no space."

Naruto spread out on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, "you know, out of everyone in our team I only like sparring with you and Sasuke. Sakura-chan always gets kinda angry when she fights and I don't like it when she's angry at me, and when I spar with Sai I end up covered in ink. And Yamato-taicho is just scary. He doesn't need to use any jutsu, he can just go like this," he sat up and exaggeratedly widened his eyes, imitating the legendary 'scary-face', "and I'll admit defeat. Willingly."

"Yes, my kohai has some strange ways of leading," Kakashi agreed, "but he's the only one I knew who could put up with both you  _and_ Sakura. Anyone else would just go crazy."

"Oi! Ero-Sennin was perfectly fine taking us on a mission with him!"

"Yes, and look what he's like." Kakashi paused, "but that mission was a sort of success, I suppose. You did end learn  _some_ information _._ "

"No it wasn't!" Naruto protested, "he just went into shady places to do perverted stuff!"

"It's called 'information gathering'," Kakashi said, leaning back against the wall, "as shinobi, we must learn to be versatile. And all he did was talk, didn't he? Probably about the weather, or the history of the village?"

"Yeah, but he talked to pretty girls," Naruto said dryly, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed, "he talks about the weather and they talk back and the idea's perverted because the point is to end up in bed with someone."

Kakashi smiled slightly, "I don't think he has much stamina at his age-"

"You better believe he does," the blond boy interrupted, "he can walk all the way from Konoha to Sugi without stopping once. Now if he didn't make me carry all his stuff, that would be respect-worthy for an old man."

The jonin paused. That hadn't been the type of stamina he was referring to, but he figured he'd corrupted his student enough. He sat up straight and looked out the bars to the door.

"If Taji was here, he would have brought us some food by now," he said lightly, "I guess he's not back yet."

"Don't talk about food, sensei." Naruto groaned and turned down to shove his face into the thin sheets, ignoring the weird smell of cloth, "if you keep bringing it up, I might just eat my pillow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment? (^^'')


	8. Sense of Smell

**Chapter 8 – Sense of Smell**

"Naruto?" Kakashi sighed and looked up from his book, "you aren't  _actually_ trying to eat your pillow, right? I don't think those are washed very often. And I might be held responsible if you poisoned yourself to death. That paperwork does not seem fun."

His student, who had his head still buried in the cloth, mumbled a 'no'. He wasn't  _that_ hungry; Kankuro's food would allow him to last a good while and dinner had helped, horrible as it was. He then raised his head for a peek to see that his sensei was once again engrossed in his book. It was probably the hundredth time he'd read the thing. Sakura had a solution for situations like this, and she'd used it on him all the time. She called it the 'silent treatment'. He grinned into his pillow and decided to try it out.

Twenty minutes later, he had figured out that the silent treatment did  _not_ work on Hatake Kakashi. Feeling boredom literally creep into his soul, he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

 

When Naruto woke up again, Kakashi's form was lying next to him, although there was a foot of space between them. He blinked at the morning light that streamed in, highlighting his sensei's sleeping face.

His first thought was that he had probably slept for _thirteen hours._ No wonder he'd woken up could  _not_ be healthy. Sakura-chan had a medic-nin word for that; she called it 'lethargy'. Sounded like a bad word.

His second thought was that Kakashi-sensei looked strangely worried when he was sleeping. His angular jaw was slightly clenched, and the hints of a silver shadow were just beginning to appear along it. His mouth was set into a small frown, and his hair fell over the closed Sharingan eye. It was strange, because people usually looked more peaceful when they were sleeping. But sensei looked peaceful and lazy when he was awake, so this seemed fitting.

It was a really nice face, when he thought about it. It wasn't as 'manly' as Gai-sensei's or as 'pretty' as Sasuke's, but it was a kind face, one that girls would call 'handsome'. And anyway, it seemed convenient to be able to look like a killer at one point and a librarian at another. He wondered what else his sensei could look like, if he wanted to.

So far, he'd only seen his unmasked face when he was exasperated, serious, or lazy. What did he look like when he laughed? What did he look like when he was really sad? Did he look at Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme with a different expression? What did he look like when his hand was sliding over his-

Naruto quickly pushed the perverted thoughts from his mind. If he thought about that again, he'd eventually think about Miyu-chan from Icha Icha, and even thinking furiously about dead kittens wouldn't bring that arousal down. Ero-Sennin's talent was quickly becoming undeniable.

The sheets moved down slightly as he stretched out one arm, giving him a view of Kakashi's chest. For some reason, he had the sudden urge to reach out and run his hand over those smooth, lean muscles. The arm that was stretching came down, and he slowly reached out, wanting simply to feel. But before he could actually make contact, some section of logic kicked in, and he figured it probably wouldn't be a good idea to touch his sensei in his sleep.

It was already bad enough that he'd seen Kakashi's erection, even if it was blurry thought the stream of water and it was hard to see thought the small hole in the wall and he wished he could see that naked form when there was no water in the way-

Naruto shook his head violently. Pervy thoughts. Those were pervy thoughts. And they didn't even involve Miyu, who it was ok to occasionally be pervy about.

It  _wasn't_  ok to have pervy thoughts about his sensei, of all people. Kakashi-sensei was another man, and he was almost thirteen years older. What would he do if he ever found out about what had happened in the shower? He was one of the nicest shinobi ever, but when he was angry, he was a force to be feared. Then again, he was always lax about things. Would he get really angry, or would he laugh it off? Naruto decided that he didn't want to risk finding out.

He turned onto his back to stare up at the ceiling so that he didn't need to look at his sensei's shirtless form. The Icha Icha book was on the other bed. It was tempting to sneak out and read it, but Kakashi would wake up the moment he tried. It was still slightly cold, anyway. His extremities didn't feel like getting up and leaving the thin sheets.

"You're awake early."

He almost leapt up at the sudden sound, but managed to somehow turn his head slowly to see Kakashi looking out at him tiredly through one eye. It figured he would wake up at the slightest movement. The worried look was gone, and he was lazy Kakashi-sensei once again.

"I slept for  _thirteen hours,_ " Naruto groaned, "who  _does_ that?"

"You've slept for longer."

"Only when I was unconscious and in the hospital!"

Kakashi paused, "yes, that's right. I suppose it  _is_ an unnaturally long time to sleep." He was lying on his side, facing his student while one hand rested on the pillow between them.

Naruto grinned suddenly, "sensei, you actually started a conversation. Could it be that you're getting bored of Icha Icha and actually want to talk?"

The jonin gave him a patronizing look, and then turned onto his back, placing one hand behind his head. They stared at the ceiling for a while quietly, because Naruto was still a little too much in the world of sleep to think of something to say. Luckily, Kakashi broke the silence first.

"Did you know I have a good sense of smell?" He asked lightly.

"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei. You're a tracker, I know," Naruto muttered.

"A  _very_ good sense of smell," he clarified.

"You don't need to boast."

"I'm serious, Naruto. I can smell blood from over a hundred meters."

"Hah! I can smell ramen from half a kilometer away!" He paused, "it only works with ramen, though."

"My sense of smell works with  _anything._  Anything at all." Kakashi went on. "Anything, I'm serious."

Naruto turned his head to look at him, "I get it, you have a good nose." Why on earth was he bringing that up at a time like this?

"Just wanted to make sure that was known," his sensei's eye crinkled into a slight smile, but there was something beyond that expression. Something unreadable.

"Yeah, the Great Kakashi-sensei can smell stuff," Naruto deadpanned, "that's so interesting. What are we supposed to do until the guard gets here? I'm cold."

"Go back to sleep," was his sensei's only suggestion, "and keep radiating warmth". His voice sounded slightly irritated, because he was probably twice as cold.

"After thirteen hours of it? No way. We can just talk about stuff, right? Cause you're too cold to get up and find your book and I'm too awake to go back to sleep? Great! What's your favorite color, sensei? I hope it's not something boring like brown or grey. Is it blue? You always wear blue. But then again, that's standard-issue jonin stuff-"

Kakashi sighed.

* * *

 

"Sakura-san, I believe I have been saying this many times recently, but  _is this wise_?"

Haruno Sakura stood at the base of a tall stucco building. Around them was the endless empty desert, and the scorching midday sun bore down on their heavy brown desert cloaks. They were standing at the  _back_ of the building, and looking up at the various barred windows above.

"This is our only choice, Sai," she told him, her voice filled with determination, "sensei's in there and he doesn't have his mask. I can't believe I lost to Naruto on who would see it first, but I'm  _not_ going to lose to Sasuke too."

"I doubt Sasuke-san is very interested in his former sensei's face at this moment," Sai said blankly, "I think he would be rather distracted by the life of a missing-nin."

"Shut up, Sai," she glared, "we'll bring him back one day, and then our only troubles in life will be keeping him from murdering you." She could already imagine Sai calling him 'ugly'.

"Sounds interesting," he smiled, "I already have a nickname picked out for him, actually. Ever since I saw the picture of him that you showed me."

Sakura turned to give him a curious look.  _Is it 'ugly'?_ Inner Sakura squealed,  _because then we'd have to exact revenge, right? Because he can't insult Sasuke-kun and get away with it!_

"I'll call him…Handsome," Sai finished, "because he is incredibly attractive."

For a while, there was silence in the wide desert, and Sakura leaned forward to bump her forehead against the stucco wall of the Suna prison. She didn't know if that was better or worse than 'ugly'. The  _last_ thing she needed was  _more_ competition.

"We should continue with our goal," Sai reminded her, fiddling with the hood of his cloak, "but I do not understand how you could know which one of these windows belongs to our teammates." He looked up at the back of the building, and the hundreds of rows of windows covering it.

 _Cha!_ Inner Sakura cheered,  _show him our brilliance! We aren't called one of the smartest shinobi of our generation for nothing!_ Sakura grinned at him, and tapped a finger against her pink head, "I remember the way he took us, and exactly how far up we went," she explained airily, "and I can see how large the building is. There's only one window which corresponds to both observations, and that's where they'll be. "

"Oh," Sai looked completely unimpressed as usual, "that is fascinating, Sakura-san. Which window is it?"

She looked slightly peeved at his nonchalance. If he had been Naruto, or Kiba, or even Kankuro, he would've been awestruck. "Just follow me," she scoffed, "and make sure you're not in the line of sight of any other windows."

"Of course, Sakura-san," he nodded.

With that, they both stepped onto the back of the prison wall and began to climb.

* * *

 

Uzumaki Naruto glared across the room. This was really getting ridiculous, how many times could a person read one damn book? His sensei could've probably memorized it by now! But there he was, sitting as nonchalantly as ever on the other bed with the annoying thing in his hand.

He looked down to the grains of sand he was organizing and swept them away, watching as they poured off the side of the bed.

"Sensei?"

"No, my favorite color is not blue," Kakashi sighed, "neither is it black, or brown, or grey. Do some cloud watching, that's always interesting." His eyes turned back down to the book, ignoring the fact that there wasn't a single puff of cloud in the sky. Being too close to the blond boy for long periods of time wasn't good at all, for his sanity if nothing else.

He glared, "I just wanted to ask something."

"What is it?"

"When do you think Tsunade baa-chan will let us go on another mission to get Sasuke back?" He asked seriously, sitting up in the sheets and swinging his legs off the side of the bed, "it's been almost two months since we saw him. What's she waiting for?"

Kakashi remained quiet for a while, regarding his student carefully. Finally, he set the book down beside him, "Tsunade-sama is the Hokage, Naruto. Sasuke may have been our teammate, but to her he was just another shinobi. She would dedicate just as much time to him as to Genma or Raido, if they became missing-nin."

"But…he's my friend!" Naruto protested, "that has to count for something!"

"In the shinobi world, relationships and emotions are dangerous," the jonin spoke, knowing that particular rule all too well.

"Sakura-chan's emotions are dangerous too. Except, they're dangerous to  _other_ people." His student deadpanned, "if you've ever seen her in a fight, you'll know what I mean."

At this, Kakashi smiled just slightly, "well, our Sakura is a force of nature," he amended, "but the point stands. If you want to succeed in this, you have to approach it subtly" he sighed, "but I understand that you've probably never formulated a plan before…"

"Oi!" Naruto spoke up, waving his fist at the older man, "I  _do_ have a plan! I'll find Sasuke and tell him why's he's such a bastard and what he can do to stop being a bastard. It'll take a while, but he'll eventually get it into his skull that Konoha is his home." He paused, "and if that doesn't work, I'll bring in Sakura-chan. She'll cry on him for a bit and then kick his butt."

His sensei almost laughed. Almost. "Somehow, that might just work," he admitted, "you  _are_ the Number One Unpredictable Ninja, after all."

The blond boy grinned widely, "believe it, sensei! I'll drag him back somehow, and I'll start as soon as we get out of this stupid prison," he looked around at the stucco walls as if they had personally offended him.

Right then, they both heard a strange scratching sound. It was quiet and uneven, and sounded vaguely like footsteps. Except it didn't come from the corridor outside their cell. It came from outside the window.

Naruto slowly got up off the bed and shuffled across the sandy ground, headed for the bars that separated them from the outside. Kakashi was still lounging on the other bed, but he was on his guard as well. The scratching outside continued, and after a few more seconds, he relaxed, raising the book to cover his face.

"Naruto," he called, watching as the boy held onto the window bars tightly and strained to see outside, "no need to worry. It's only Sakura and Sai."

"What?!" His student turned to give him an incredulous look, "how do you know that?"

Kakashi tapped his nose, "they're both sweating, you know. It's even hotter outside."

"Oh," Naruto stepped back from the window, "they're climbing up the side of the building, then."

"Seems that way."

"Why?" He tilted his head to one side, "why not just visit? I thought she was pretending to be your wife, or something."

His sensei shrugged loosely, "maybe she's having problems getting in. Either way, your stomach should be thankful," his book was now completely shielding his face, allowing only his usable eye and his closed Sharingan eye to be seen over the cover.

Naruto brightened at the thought of food, but he sagged when he realized something else. He turned about to give Kakashi a mournful look, "she won't know which one we are," he lamented, "There are hundreds of windows…"

"You'd be surprised," came the jonin's only reply.

When the top of a pink head appeared at the window a few moments later, Naruto's eyes widened. How had she found the right one? He watched as Sakura-chan pulled herself up, balancing with her hands gripping the bars. Her eyes immediately scanned the cell, and then landed on Kakashi.

When she saw him, and the book that casually covered his face, she lost her grip.

"Careful, Sakura-san," another voice advised from below her, "I thought you were said to have excellent chakra control?"

"Yes, and if you don't get your hands off my butt I'll show you why."

"Ah. I'm sorry. I was simply attempting to save you from a painful death."

Naruto watched, confused, as Sai appeared behind her, climbing up to stand beside her and peer in through the bars. Why on earth did Sakura-chan loose chakra control for a second? And she was looking rather worse for wear, too. She wore the thick brown cloak that Suna citizens all swore by, but that didn't hide the sweaty hair and tired look.

"Problems?" Kakashi asked cheerfully, hiding his face behind the book and watching his second student's frustrated glare.

"Not at all," Sakura replied between gritted teeth, "just thought I'd come to visit my  _wonderful_ sensei andteammate." Her fingers around the bars of the window were rather white, "why don't you have a shirt on, anyway?" She looked on uninterestedly at Kakashi's bare chest, simply noting that he was incredibly in shape. She was a shinobi medic; it was nothing she hadn't seen before.

"Long story," the jonin replied, "not relevant, though. Interesting how you momentarily failed the most basic of chakra exercises. Were you expecting something?"

"She's still suffering from her hangover," Sai explained with a bland smile, "so she isn't too agreeable today. It's almost as bad as when she is on her-"

Sakura reached over with one carefully balanced foot to not-too-discreetly kick him in the back of the knee. Sai adopted his blank expression of pain once again and his head disappeared from above the window, presumably to nurse his leg in peace.

Kakashi had picked up on one particular term. He stood up and walked over to the window, where Naruto was standing. Then he went slightly closer to the bars until his face was mere inches from Sakura's. He sniffed slightly. "You've been drinking," he noted disapprovingly, "I thought we all agreed that you wouldn't drink sake after the Lee Incident?"

Sakura had the sense to redden, and she looked away to avoid his eye, "It wasn't sake," she replied stiffly.

Kakashi waited patiently.

"It was shochu," she admitted, hanging her head.

"What?!" Naruto exclaimed, looking scandalized, "Sakura-chan can't turn into a drunk! I bet this is all Tsunade baa-chan's fault," he crossed his arms over his chest, "when we get back to Konoha, I'll have to talk to her about this."

"It's fascinating that you think she'll listen," his sensei observed.

"And what's the 'Lee Incident' anyway?" He went on, "why does no one ever tell me anything?" Naruto glared around at his teammates, slightly annoyed. When did Sakura-chan ever drink sake? Or  _shochu,_ which was  _worse_? What happened between her and Lee? Why was his stupid sensei being so secretive and keeping his distance?

"Maa, it's something that happened on her date with Lee," Kakashi explained, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, "the waiter thought they were adorable together and decided to bring them some sake on the house. With Lee's Drunken Fist and Sakura's natural light-weightiness, they ended up fighting and it did not end well."

Naruto gave him a brief glare before turning back to Sakura and Sai, whose face had just reappeared behind the bars. At least nothing  _else_ had happened. After Kakashi and Kankuro, he was ready to beat the life out of the next guy who put a claim to her. "So?" He asked expectantly, "didn't you bring us any food?"

There was silence for a moment as their two teammates considered that question. They looked at each other with equally accusing looks, and then turned to look at Kakashi and Naruto guiltily.

"What?" The blond boy burst out, "you came all this way and forgot to bring us something to eat? We're starving!"

"Sorry," Sai apologized, "Sakura-san was focused on other things." He moved to the side, and his face, along with Sakura's, barely fit into the view of the small window.

Sakura gave a long and suffering sigh while Kakashi looked on in amusement, knowing exactly what the 'other things' were, "we can get back here later," she amended, "maybe we'll come back after dinner."

"We want ramen!" Naruto demanded.

" _He_ wants ramen," his sensei clarified, raising a hand, "I'd like rice and eggs. Preferably with some soy sauce on the side."

"This isn't an ordering service!" She yelled back at them, gripping the window-bars, "you'll get whatever I can find!"

"B-But Sakura-chan," Naruto's lower lip quivered, "we're stuck without food in this horrible place! The least you can do is bring me some ramen so that I don't go crazy with just Kakashi-sensei to talk to!"

Sakura sighed in exasperation, "it's good for you," she decided, "it's a good experience?"

"How, Sakura-san?" Sai asked.

"It'll…um…teach you values!" She stuttered.

"The value of our dignity?" Naruto asked mournfully.

"The value of our clothes?" Kakashi tried.

"The value of money!" She retorted, "because Naruto spends his every ryo on ramen, and sensei never saves any money for emergencies."

"Oi! Ramen is worth it!"

"Any emergency situation I would think of involved me being dead, in which case money would be the last thing I needed," Kakashi pointed out. He lowered the book slightly, giving her an infuriatingly quick view of his nose before raising it again. She ground her teeth when she realized that he was just playing around with her.

At that moment, the outer door of the cell swung open, and there was no time for any of them to move.

* * *

 

"Gaara, you asked to see me?"

The young Kazekage looked up from his desk as his older brother came into the room, free of his usual black clothing. He hadn't been wearing those black hooded cloaks for a while now. It probably had something to do with Sakura.

"And me, too?"

The two brothers turned to see another figure entering through the window. Temari sat on the ledge, swinging her legs. She had just come back from her mission, and was still wearing her kunoichi outfit, with her large fan in its holster. She looked at her brothers curiously, "is this some sort of family meeting? It's been a while since the last one," she observed.

"That's because you're always away on missions!" Kankuro accused, pointing a finger, "you haven't spoken ten words to me in days!" He had always been the glue that held his small family together, and that tended to be a stressful job with a busy jonin sister and a busier Kazekage brother.

Temari shrugged, "sorry. I'll make up for it by taking you to a really good curry place for dinner. How does today evening sound? Maybe we can even take Gaara along, if we book the whole place for us." She slipped off the window-ledge and walked over to ruffle her younger brother's hair while he glared back at her.

"That is partially why I have called you both here," Gaara spoke up, leaning his chin on steepled fingers, "Kankuro is no longer interested in going to dinner with us. He instead wishes to go to these places with Haruno Sakura. As a 'date'."

Temari's mouth dropped open, and her hand stilled on Kankuro's head. She turned to slowly look at her youngest brother, "he wants…to  _date_ someone?!"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Kankuro grumbled, "I'm sixteen, you know." It irked him that his sister was under the impression that he was still ten.

"No!" She yelled, turning to him with her hands on her hips, "not until you're thirty!"

"That's  _too_ late!"

"Early enough for you, kid!"

"I'm not a kid, I'm only a year younger than you!"

"You're a kid until I say otherwise! Mother wouldn't have let you and I won't either," she crossed her arms over her chest.

Gaara briefly wondered if this 'thirty' rule applied to him as well. But Temari was much better at dealing with these things, which was why he had called her in. He stood up from behind his desk and slipped the Kazekage's hat off his head, walking over to stand in front of his siblings.

"He has already had a 'date' with Sakura," he reported slowly, "it did not end well. Sai has informed me that she became incoherent after ordering shochu."

"What?!" Temari exclaimed, "Sakura's a alcoholic? She seemed like a nice girl…but I can't accept this!" She banged one fist down on the Kazekage's desk as emphasis, "she'll be a bad influence for our brother! She and that other Konoha nin don't need to be here during Naruto and Kakashi-san's sentence. Send them back to Konoha, I'll accompany them there."

"She just wants to go see that smart Konoha guy she likes," Kankuro mumbled, trying to fix his ruffled hair, "I bet  _she'll_ go on dates with  _him._ "

At that, Temari took offense, and the two began their first sibling fight in around five years.

Gaara frowned further at this new revelation, crossing his arms over his red robes as he watched the two go for each other's necks. Were both his siblings victims to this infatuation that came with their young adult age? Temari was almost eighteen, but as a kunoichi, she had never shown any particular indication towards taking a lover. Kankuro had shown zero interest in the opposite sex until Sakura had come in to valiantly rescue him from a certain death after his battle with Sasori.

For some reason, the thought of his brother or sister dating someone else and doing things like holding hands and kissing made him cringe on the inside. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. He decided that it would be better if both his siblings remained loyal,  _single_ members of his council well into their old age.

"I have made a decision," he spoke up, "I think it would be best if the two of you refrained from engaging in these dating habits. As Kazekage, I believe these things are affecting your abilities to function properly as my advisors."

Temari's fingers released Kankuro's ear, and Kankuro drew back his fist from his sister's shoulder. They slowly turned to look at their youngest brother with mirrored horror.

"No! It's perfectly fine, Gaara," she said quickly, "Kankuro can date Sakura. It'll…um…teach him things! Values, and social etiquette, and other stuff! And maybe he'll be good for her and they'll be one less young alcoholic in the world!"

"And that Shikamaru guy is kinda cool!" Kankuro rushed to add, "I wouldn't mind having him for a brother-in-law, you know? He could teach me how to play Shougi, or something! It'll be cool, Gaara. It would be nice to have more family!"

Gaara winced at the thought of having any  _more_ family. Two was more than enough for him.

"Please don't give us that order as Kazekage," Temari pleaded, "we'll be discreet, we promise!"

Their youngest brother frowned, "are these things truly so important to you both?"

They both nodded vigorously.

"Then…I am forced to reconsider," he relented, "but I think we should return to the original purpose of this meeting. What must we do about Kankuro and Sakura?"

Temari considered this in silence, straightening and running a hand through her loose blond hair, "um…is there a reason you're determined to get involved in this?" She shot a sideways glance at Kankuro, "I mean, it's his business, after all."

"You didn't think so before," the puppet-user muttered, "it's fascinating what bringing up Shikamaru can do to your attitude."

His sister raised a hand in warning and Kankuro quieted.

"I have heard that such things are family matters first and foremost," Gaara told them, "and, as Kazekage, I am responsible for the well-being of my people. I cannot see to everyone, but my family, at least, is accessible."

At this, his older siblings softened. As a young Jinchuuriki, Gaara didn't have much experience with social matters, and was confused by all the young kunoichi who stuttered around him. It happened rather often, since he happened to be the young, powerful, and rather good-looking Kazekage. But he did his best to play the role of a brother, and they both knew that he loved them dearly, however strangely he chose to show it.

In an almost daring move, Temari reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, and smiled, "you know, Gaara, some other countries have experienced kage who've been shinobi for decades. But I wouldn't prefer anyone but you, because you fill the role so well."

Gaara simply nodded to acknowledge the praise.

"But if you really want to help me," Kankuro spoke up, "I think I have some ideas on how you could do that…"

* * *

 

"What exactly is happening here?"

Sakura and Sai both froze, since their heads were in clear view outside the window. Kakashi and Naruto quickly made to move in front of them and shield them from view, but paused when they saw familiar dark, cropped hair.

Naruto's eyes widened at the figure who emerged from the outer door. The guard made his way over to the bars with two bowls and grey cloth draped over his arm, eyeing the figures outside the window suspiciously.

"Oji-san!" He yelled, running over press his face against the bars, "you're back! We missed you! Come just a little closer so that I can hug you!"

Taji looked vaguely disturbed. He quickly set down the bowls and took a step away. His eyes, however, did not leave the window, "so you two decided to break the law by illegally contacting the prisoners? You can't have been  _that_ eager to see your husband after a few  _days_!" He glared at Sakura, crossing his arms over his jonin flak jacket.

"Actually, I  _was_ pretty desperate to see him…" Sakura trailed, completely truthfully, albeit with a different definition of 'see'. She groaned slightly, "great. We risked our legal records to make it here on the one day we could've just walked back in the proper way."

"Such things seems to happen to you often, Sakura-san," Sai observed.

"Shut up, Sai," she deadpanned, "this just isn't my day. Or week. Or year, really." With that, she leaned forward to bang her head against the window bars, "my mom always said that everyone has the same amount of luck in their lives. Since I've been having  _none_ so far, I'll probably be the luckiest old lady in all the Five Countries."

"Is this the same person who thinks it's scandalous that you're showing your knees?" her sensei deadpanned, recalling vague memories of occasionally bumping into Haruno Mebuki while she was out with her daughter. Those had been awkward indeed, since she had taken one look at Icha Icha in his hand and, well, if eyes could kill he would've gladly leapt back into Itachi's Tsukiyomi.

"Yup. The very same," she sighed.

The cell quieted, and the four members of Team Kakashi turned to look guiltily at the guard, who was standing with his arms crossed. He raised an eyebrow, "you know, you broke the law. I'm required to report you."

Sakura turned to look at Kakashi expectantly.

Their sensei sighed at the fact that somewhere inside her head, his student still somehow thought he could solve anything. He turned to the guard with a sheepish look, lowering his book from his face while giving Sakura a clear view of the  _back_  of his head, "you can keep this silent, can't you, Taji-san? More importantly, is that my shirt?" He eyed the grey cloth on Taji's arm.

"Yeah," the man drawled, handing him the shirt through the bars, "picked it up on the way here." The other jonin almost ran over to take it.

Naruto watched in slight disappointment as the bland grey cloth covered up Kakashi's perfect form. He had really liked looking. It was…motivation. To train harder. That was it.  _This_ had nothing to do with the pervy stuff. Nothing at all.

He settled down on the bed with his bowl of food, shoveling it into his mouth. After pausing for a moment to swallow enough to speak, he looked up, "so why haven't you been around, oji-san?" He asked, "we really missed you, you know. The other guard was  _really_ mean."

Taji scratched his head, "got dragged back in here after using up my vacation days," he grunted, "left cause of some silly reasons, but this guy who's a friend of my old teammate's convinced me that I shouldn't pay attention to these things," he gave Sakura and Sai  _looks,_ warning them not to say anything, "Kuroda can be a real bastard sometimes, but he gives some damn good advice."

"Kuroda?" Sai questioned, "who is he? That name sounds somewhat familiar…"

But before the guard could answer, Naruto leapt up, discarding his now-empty bowl as he rushed back to the bars, "so you won't tell on Sakura-chan and Sai, right? We can keep this a secret, right? Right, oji-san? Right?"

Taji groaned at the thought of breaking the rules to cover up for the idiots from Konoha.


	9. Worse than Usual

**Chapter 9 – Worse than Usual**

"Kakashi-sensei, do you get the feeling they were worse than usual today?" Naruto spoke up as they returned to their cells after dinner. He sat back down on the bed, feeling full for the first time in days. They'd served curry again. It may have had something to do with the extra serving he'd had, courtesy of one formerly masked jonin.

"Get used to it, Naruto," his sensei sighed from his position on the other bed, "you can't blame them." He picked up Icha Icha Violence again and flipped to his favorite page; the rather sappy part where Katsue first invited Jio to her room. It was such a peaceful scene, with Katsue's shy glances and Jio's understandable excitement. Inviting a man into such a personal space…Jiraiya had ways of making things exciting even when characters still had their clothes on.

Naruto frowned, "then whose fault is it?"

"It's no one's fault," he explained, "not everything has someone to blame, it's because of the circumstances."

"That's not fair! There's no one to beat up!"

Kakashi gave him a tired glance over the top of his book, "you have a one track mind, Naruto," with that, he set Icha Icha down beside him, "what do you want to do until nightfall? There's still two hours left, I think."

There was momentary silence in the room. Then, before he could move, a flash of blond appeared in front of him, blue eyes side with excitement. "You're not going to read anymore, sensei?" His student asked, voice high, "you're actually going to stop ignoring me and letting me die of boredom?"

The jonin cringed slightly, remembering days in the past where he really  _had_ ignored the boy. It was entirely his fault, though the memories still rose up sometimes…he cleared his throat, "I wasn't being  _that_  unfair-"

"It doesn't matter!" Naruto yelled, punching the air with one fist, "because I don't need to count grains of sand anymore! I can talk instead!" He moved to sit down right next to the older man, "why did you change your mind, anyway?"

Kakashi shifted slightly, "it's because I don't want to ruin my book by reading it too much," he explained, "I have to take a break so that I can forget the lines. If I don't, I might memorize them." So until then, he would have to put up with Naruto's form pressed up against his side…

"That's a weird reason, sensei, but I'm not complaining," his student went on, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, "but it's fine. We can talk about lots of things. I mean, I've always had loads of questions I wanted to ask."

At this, the jonin raised an eyebrow, "really?"

"Yeah! I mean, why do you always wear that mask?"

There was silence in the cell again, and Kakashi sighed, "even after everything that's happened in the past few days, you still can't figure that out?"

Naruto shook his head.

"I started the academy in the middle of the war," his sensei explained again, "and no one could mistake me for anything else but the White Fang's son. So my father gave me a mask, just to wear to the academy until the war was over," he paused, absently running a hand over his cheek, "but I became used to it, and decided to keep it." Well no, he'd decided to keep it because it was the last thing he had of his father since he had carelessly broken his tanto. But this explanation sounded better.

"Oh," Naruto said bluntly, turning to look across the cell, "Sakura-chan and Sasuke and I used to make up all sorts of theories."

"Like what?" He was genuinely curious, although his voice didn't show it.

"Sakura-chan thought you had big teeth. Sasuke thought you had a skin condition." he paused, "I was kind of torn between the two. I mean, large teeth would show under the mask, but no one has a skin condition  _just_ on the bottom half of their face…"

Kakashi chuckled slightly, "creative. I didn't think anyone else wondered apart from Gai. He still sometimes laments about how he missed his chance."

"You can't be serious, sensei!" Naruto burst out, "it's the most hotly contested mystery in all of Konoha!" Something akin to excitement bubbled up inside him at the fact that his sensei's attention was now focused on him.

"Is it?" The jonin tilted his head to one side, "people are interested in the strangest of things sometimes."

Naruto couldn't help but agree. Especially since he was still mourning the loss of his view since Kakashi had gotten his shirt back. He took a moment to ponder it.

 _Why_ did he feel slightly disappointed when his sensei wasn't half-naked anymore? Wasn't that a  _good_ thing?  _Why_ did he feel hurt when Kakashi carefully avoided looking at him, or kept his distance when they slept in the same bed? Were those pervy thoughts? Was it normal to have those kinds of pervy thoughts? Nope, definitely not.

Travelling with the self-proclaimed super-pervert had its advantages; he'd learned about the world of men earlier than most. He knew that most people had pervy thoughts sometimes. He was fine with it; things like that made it more exciting when he discovered self-pleasure. Some thought about cute girls, and others thought about older women with large chests. Some thought about other boys their age, but they were usually quiet about it because they were few and far in between.

No one he knew of thought about their  _sensei_  like that. Young jonin-sensei were supposed to be like older siblings to the genin they trained, just like Kakashi-sensei was to Sakura-chan. They were supposed to spar together and talk about shinobi stuff and treat each other to lunch. They weren't supposed to watch each other during their most private times-

He shook his head slightly, jarring the thoughts. But with a sinking feeling, he realized that it really  _did_ hurt that his sensei was keeping his distance. He knew that Hatake Kakashi was a private man who liked to be by himself, but still…

Was it because sensei was a man, and still thought of him as a kid? No, that couldn't be true. Kakashi-sensei had recognized him as a man the moment he'd come back to Konoha from his trip. Even Sakura-chan had said he had a different 'look' that went beyond the new clothes Ero-Sennin had bought for him. He bit his lip absentmindedly as he thought about it, and then finally decided that being in prison was not good for his brain.

"Naruto," a long-fingered hand waved in front of his face, breaking him out of his momentary train of thought. He looked sideways to see Kakashi watching him curiously.

"What exactly are you thinking about?" His sensei asked dryly, "that's the most concentration I've ever seen on your face."

Naruto reddened just slightly and looked pointedly away. "Nothing," he mumbled, pushing the weird thoughts from his mind.

* * *

 

When Naruto woke up in the middle of the night, he glanced out the window at the high moon and realized that he'd barely been able to string two hours of sleep together. He figured it was probably because of all the rest he'd had the night before.

He groaned as he stared up at the ceiling, feeling not an inch of tiredness in his body. The pillow was thin and barely existent behind his head, and the blankets seemed to be pooled over a spot on his leg. This was going to be a long night.

Kakashi's sleeping face was beside him, closer than it had been before. Maybe he had stopped trying to keep his distance? He could tell the jonin was in a deep sleep; his breathing was slow and soft. But this time, the worried look wasn't on his face. Instead, he looked perfectly blank.

Naruto found himself watching it again, noting the fine features and the thin scar that ran across his sensei's eye. Then he looked up again, shaking his head to get rid of the weirder thoughts that threatened to show up. It was weird to think like that. Really weird. He didn't think Sakura-chan ever felt the urge to stare at their sensei's face. And he was pretty damn sure Sasuke never had.

The only thing he could do was try to go back to sleep. But it was hard to sleep when he was lying on his back; gravity was pulling his eyes open. He made to turn, and then froze as he realized the slight weight on his leg was  _not_ the blankets. It was too heavy to be that. It was Kakashi-sensei's hand.

Naruto paused when he realized his movement had made it slide slightly higher, so that it was now resting almost on the inside of his thigh. The sound of the shuffling blankets also seemed to shake Kakashi out of his deep sleep, and into a much lighter one where he was able to shift his hand without waking up.

It was fine. Sensei was asleep. He didn't know what he was doing. It was perfectly fine that his hand had moved much higher, and was surprisingly heavy over the grey cloth of his pants.

At that moment, Naruto realized with horror that he was stirring in his pants.

Those long fingers were right beside his own slowly hardening length and he didn't know why he was getting aroused and it was too confusing and it would be nice if things started making sense again.

He hadn't thought about Miyu, or made up any fantasies, or had any interesting dreams in the few hours his brain had managed to shut itself down. In fact, all he remembered was a vague dream of ordering ramen.

Was this it? Had ramen finally turned him on?

He shook the thoughts from his head. That was silly, it couldn't have been the ramen dream. It must have been a different dream…and sensei's hand was close to brushing against where he was beginning to strain against the loose material of his pants.

Maybe it was a good thing. Doing  _that_ always made him kind of warm and sleepy when he was done, after all. At least the sleeplessness would go away.

Naruto made to slowly push himself up onto his elbows, but he realized that things would be too weird if Kakashi woke up and realized where his hand had been. So with once quick move, he sat up straight, jarring his sensei's hand off his leg.

Kakashi's eyes snapped open immediately just as he sat up. He looked up curiously through slightly bleary eyes.

"Naruto?" He muttered, "where are you going?" His voice was deeper, reminding Naruto of the first night he had caught his sensei in a similar position. He gulped as he felt himself twitch again for some reason.

"To the washroom," he reported. The clearness of his voice probably relayed his sleeplessness better than anything else.

Kakashi paused for a moment, staying still as if he was listening to the silence outside. Then he nodded and ran a hand over his face, tuning to fall back asleep. Naruto waited until the slow rise and fall of his shoulders had gone back to normal before creeping across the floor.

It was cold, and the cold wasn't helping. He wished it would help, but it was only making him harder. The moonlight cast his shadow across the cell as he shut the door of the small washroom behind him and went to stand by the sink. There was no mirror above it, sharp things weren't allowed in the cells.

Just as his hand reached to slip under the waistband of his pants, he remembered something and froze. Sensei would hear.  _He_ had heard, and he wasn't  _nearly_ as silent as Kakashi had been. How on earth was he supposed to fix that?

But Naruto prided himself on his unique ability to save every speck of intellect for emergency situations, and this was definitely an emergency. With a small grin, he turned on the running water of the tap, satisfied at the continuous splashing noise it made against the clay basin. There was no way he would be heard over that.

When he slipped his hand in his pants and found himself just as aroused as he had been in the shower, he groaned. Why did this have to happen so often in the two weeks where it would be most awkward? Why couldn't it wait until he was back in Konoha, and could maybe borrow Kiba's civilian magazines in peace? Why was his hand moving so slowly when all he wanted to do was finish quickly and get out?

This was not the time for pleasure, dammit! This was the time for quick release so that he could go back to sleep! He would figure out the rest of that pleasure stuff after a girl agreed to go out with him!

It was all Kakashi-sensei's fault. If he hadn't made that washroom visit at first, the notion would have never come up. If he hadn't unknowingly hinted at how good he could feel, none of this would have happened.

Naruto bit his lip to stop a slight mew from escaping when his fingers brushed a particularly sensitive spot at his tip, and found that he was leaking heavily already. He didn't ever remember being turned on  _this_ quickly before. Great, he was becoming an early-person, like the ones the older girls made fun of.

And Sakura-chan thought  _she_ was unlucky…

* * *

 

The next day, the other two members of Team Kakashi were in Sakura's hotel room while the early-morning Sunagakure sun was barely visible over the horizon. Sai stood in front of the bed wearing full brown desert robes over his shinobi outfit, watching the pink-haired girl who was still curled into a ball under the blankets. Unlike him, she was a late-riser, which was something he frowned upon.

"Sakura-san. You're supposed to be awake," he noted, wondering if it would be wise to come back with a bucket of water. Apparently that woke people up nicely.

"Shh…" She muttered, "if the sun's not up then I don't have any right to be." The lump under the blankets turned.

"It's almost seven o'clock. The day has started."

"Go away."

"As the next highest of rank in our team besides Kakashi-san, it is your responsibility to write our weekly mission report. The last report was due yesterday night."

Sakura groaned at that realization. "Fine," she mumbled, "just wait a moment."

The figure under the blankets shifted. Sai squinted, "Sakura-san, what exactly are you doing under there?"

"Stretching," came the muffled response.

"If you like, I could show you the various pre-training exercises we learned in the anbu-"

"This is  _my_ version of stretching. It's called early-morning-attempt-to-delay-getting-out-of-bed stretching" After a few more seconds of shifting, Sakura's pink, ruffled head emerged from under the blankets. She threw them off, revealing the set of loose white pajamas the hotel had provided.

Sai held up the letter they had been brought the previous night, "Sakura-san, I think we should go," he advised, "it is better if we do."

Haruno Sakura sighed and sat up from the bed, eyeing the letter wearily. She reached over to grab a clip off the dresser and used it to push the messy pink hair out of her face before looking up at her teammate, "Sai, you know this isn't a vacation.

But he wanted to go. The pale boy shuffled through all his memories of his books before arriving at the one tactic that worked on any girl. Flattery. "I would like to point out that you look incredibly beautiful, Sakura-san," he stated.

Sakura glared out from underneath her messy hair, "you say I'm ugly when I'm dressed up and now you think I'm pretty when my hair's a mess and I probably have bags under my eyes? Yeah, right," she scoffed.

Sai tilted his head to one side, "I did call you ugly," he informed her, "but that was because I was advised that girls don't like to hear what I actually think, and that I must always say the opposite."

She vaguely remembered his 'beautiful' comment towards Ino, and was momentarily touched. "So you think I'm beautiful?" She asked coyly, pushing the messy pink strands away from her face. Compliments were always nice, no matter who they came from.

Her teammate considered it for a while. "You vaguely conform to the societal standards of attractiveness," Sai reported, "however, I find that you lack symmetry." Now that his strategy was out, truthfulness seemed to be the only other option. He figured that he might as well deliver his artistic analysis of her form.

"Well I'm sorry for not being 'symmetrical' enough," Sakura grumbled.

Sai pointed to the letter again.

"If we go to this, then we won't be able to visit Naruto and Kakashi-sensei today," she pointed out.

"But that is fine," he said blankly, "they have their cooperative guard back, and will not starve."

"After seeing that prison food, I beg to differ," she deadpanned. The bare essentials of nutrients, no flavor, not many vitamins…her medic-nin senses had stood on end upon seeing the stuff.

"But they will remain alive," Sai pointed out, "and we should not fail to attend this. We have been issued a formal invite by the Kazekage himself, and are now representing Konoha at this event." He frowned slightly, trying to use his knowledge of emotional expression to show that it was important for them to go. The small section of enthusiasm he reserved only for art was making its way up in his mind.

Sakura sighed again, "is this art show really so important?" She asked, "I don't really care about the Kazekage's invite. If this were some kind of emergency, Gaara would have asked us to see him personally. But I'll go if you really want to." It was incredibly hard to coax any sort of feeling out of the emotionless boy, and the last thing he needed was discouragement. Art was really the only thing he showed actual interest in, and she and Kakashi and Yamato-taicho had already decided that it was best to start there in helping him slowly re-develop his emotions.

"I…wish to go," Sai told her stiffly, averting his eyes.

There were a few seconds of silence in the room as Sakura processed that. Finally, she nodded. "Fine. The stands opens at noon," she brushed off her pajamas, wincing at the ever-present grains of sand that fell out. "I'll go take a shower first and clean up. I'm absolutely filthy from yesterday's weather. And there is sand in places sand should not be."

"Indeed. Truthfully, you look much worse than usual."

"Shut up, Sai."

* * *

 

When Naruto woke up the next morning, it was the slow, gradual sort of wakening that allowed him to keep his eyes closed for a while and luxuriate in the morning warmth. He opened them slightly, and started when he saw Kakashi watching him.

His sensei was sitting on the other bed, having woken up earlier. Icha Icha Violence was lying on the sheets next to him, but Naruto knew that he didn't need his book to occupy himself. He could probably go hours just looking out the window, thinking complicated Kakashi-sensei-thoughts.

But he wasn't looking out the window. He was looking at him, and there was a strange look on his face. Naruto didn't know what to make of it. But difficult things like that confused him, and he opened his eyes fully and sat up in bed, stretching out his arms so high that the bottom of his shirt lifted to reveal a tanned stomach.

Kakashi seemed to avert his eyes immediately, turning to look out the window. "Good morning." He briefly looked like he wanted to say something else, but refrained.

"G' Moring'," Naruto mumbled, slipping out of the sheets, "how come you wake up so early, sensei?" he yawned, "it's like you have an alarm clock in your head."

The jonin smiled slightly, "something like that."

His student stood up and walked over to where he was sitting, collapsing down beside him on his back and staring up at the ceiling, "when will oji-san be here?"

"Twenty minutes," Kakashi replied, taking one glance at the sun. Then he turned back to look at the boy laying beside him, "are you sleeping well, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded, "I slept for fourteen hours, remember? I mean, there's always legarthy-"

"Lethargy."

"-but I'll be fine. Why, sensei? Am I snoring too loud?"

The jonin looked down at him, "I've gotten used to the snoring. You aren't nearby as bad as Gai, actually."

"Oh good," Naruto grinned. But Kakashi-sensei's look lingered for a while before he turned away.

The weird feeling in his stomach was back, the one that he'd first gotten around Sakura-chan in the academy. But that  _couldn't_ be right. It was just because sensei finally took off his mask, and seemed to have a really nice face. Iruka-sensei had told them about that back in those academy sex-ed classes, about silly little crushes that people had on people they weren't suppose to like  _that_ way.

Not that  _he_ did, of course. His brain just needed to shut up and stay quiet, just for a few more days. He had already come to the conclusion that the prison was making it function strangely.

Because thinking like that was not right. It wasn't even normal-pervy. It was  _weird_ -pervy. Sensei was almost  _fourteen_ years older; he was probably interested in experienced  _women._ Of course, Ero-Sennin liked girls who were far younger than him, but he only wanted to leer at them.

He didn't want to spend long amounts of times with them. He wasn't slightly hurt when they ignored him – which they did most of the time. He didn't get the urge to be closer to them, or to know everything about their past, or to read their ecchi books so that they would have something to talk about-

Naruto shook his head to get the thoughts out. This was Kakashi he was thinking about, his awesome jonin-sensei who had been the second person to protect him. Kakashi-sensei, who was deadly at times and strangely kind at other times and could beat S-rank shinobi and rival Sakura-chan and Shikamaru in brains and had a nose sharper than an Inuzuka's-

A nose sharper than…

Naruto's eyed widened when the realization hit, and he shot up from the bed.

"Something wrong?" Kakashi asked curiously, watching his student's stunned look. After a few more seconds, he understood what Naruto had figured out.

"Um," Naruto spoke up in a slightly strangled voice, "I'm going to go count grains of sand." He stood up and stumbled over to the other side of the room as fast as he could.

* * *

 

Many hours later, two Konoha nin were standing in one of the smaller streets of Suna, which had been closed off for the purpose of the art show. Crowds of civilians and shinobi alike filled the place, and stands of artwork lines the sides. Even under the glaring sun, people were milling about happily, wearing only their cloaks to protect them from the heat. Sai and Sakura both wore their hoods down to reveal the hitai-ite that declared them as foreign shinobi, purely for diplomatic purposes.

Unfortunately, that seemed to draw the attention of the artists selling their work. Konoha was one of the more prosperous hidden villages of the Five Countries, after all, unlike Suna, which was relatively small.

When Sai paused at a stand nearby to examine a delicately painted bowl in his pale fingers, the cloaked stand-owner approached him immediately, rubbing his hands with glee.

"That is one of my favorites too!" He exclaimed, "those deep blues paints are ground from a precious stone found only in River Country, which we have imported specially to make these pieces. Those delicate leaf designs would surely appeal to your taste? Only twenty thousand ryo!"

"It is very aesthetically pleasing," Sai ran one finger over a painted blue flower inside the bowl, marveling at the shining translucency. Konoha never had paints like these, which was why he tended to remain with black ink.

Sakura quickly took the bowl from his hands and set it back down on the display stand, turning to give the seller an apologetic look. "Sorry, oji-san," she told him, "we're not here to buy anything. We're just looking around."

The man seemed slightly disappointed, but nodded and turned to tend to other potential customers. Sai gave the painted bowl a mournful look and turned to raise an eyebrow at her.

"They think we're rich, or something. Just because we're from Konoha!" She huffed, "they're trying to get us to buy stuff! Like we don't have money problems of our own…"

Sai nodded, "I was not planning to buy the piece, Sakura-san."

"Oh, good."

"That imported paint color, however-"

"No," she crossed her arms over the cloak, "neither of us has any money to spend."

He frowned, "I remember that you made sixty thousand through arm wrestling a few days ago." At least some of it was his, considering that he was responsible for helping her make it outside the place without losing every ryo on the way.

She groaned at the thought, "yes, and if we don't make enough to help Naruto and sensei, then I'll convert it to Fire Country ryo and treat you all to the most expensive dinner I can find once we get back to Konoha. Just to celebrate having survived this experience."

Sai looked vaguely disappointed, but he nodded, "that sounds fine, Sakura-san." He looked around, noting the stalls where the crowds milled most densely and the soft, Suna-style music emanating from down the street. He began to walk towards another stall, and Sakura followed him, smiling slightly at the festivity.

They walked down the street, slipping between small crowds of Suna citizens. Sai glanced around at the art stands while Sakura watched the people curiously, noting the many families, and the occasional shinobi here and there. It was actually rather nice, she was glad they had come. The smiling faces and celebration of Suna's small but rich culture almost reminded her of Tanabata back in Konoha. She felt some inklings of pity for her two other teammates who were stuck indoors, but it wasn't enough to keep the smile off her face.

"What do you think of this one, Sakura-san?" Sai asked from behind her. She turned quickly to see him holding a larger painting, and squinted at the blobs of color.

"Um…they're very nice looking vegetables," Sakura tried, "I like the…uh…green color." She'd never claimed to be an artist.

Sai gave her a dry look, "these are trees," he stated, "Vegetables don't have branches."

She simply huffed and crossed her arms, "if I couldn't tell, then maybe the artist wasn't good enough. Geez, realism or abstract. He should really make a choice."

He shrugged slightly and set the painting down. The brown-robed woman running the stand came over to try to sell it to him, but he simply gave her a bland smile and waved her off. He turned back and looked further down the street, "let's go further down, Sakura-san. I think there are some more interesting stands down there," he pointed.

Sakura turned to look where he was pointing, and saw a larger area at the end of the street. It was a sort of Square, with tall buildings on all sides and various stands set up in the centre. "Sure," she nodded.

They set off towards it, wading through the people all around. When they arrived at the centre square, Sai's eyes were looking around, absorbing the beautiful works of art on display. The crowd was getting thicker as they went, and soon Sakura had to make a constant effort to keep her teammate in sight.

Suddenly, she felt a hand slip into hers. She looked down to see that it was Sai's, and that he was pulling her towards a display stand nearby. He looked back and gave her a smile that was just the tiniest bit more expressive than usual.

"There are sketches over there," he explained, tugging at her hand, "all the way across, through the sculpture displays," he turned to point through the crowd.

Sakura looked up to see the stucco sculptures he spoke of. Behind them was a rather small display of ink sketches, and a young Suna girl was standing near them, smiling warmly while showing off her work. She nodded and followed him, sneaking occasional glances at where he had quite a strong grip on her hand.

Sai was interesting when he tried. He'd come a long way from the  _completely_ emotionless anbu they'd first met. He showed small hints of actual warmth sometimes, and his passion for art made his smiles slightly less bland. Sometimes, Sakura could see why Ino had taken a liking to him. The  _last_ thing she needed was  _another_ romantic rivalry, but Sai really could be a nice friend now and then.

"Sakura-san, please walk faster. You're too heavy to drag."

All right, scratch that. She hated him.

When they stopped by the small stand, Sai didn't really understand why his teammate was glaring at him. But he shrugged it off as another instance of incompressible human behavior and walked up to the young artist who owned the display.

She smiled when she saw them. "Good morning, shinobi-san, kunoichi-san."

"Good morning," Sakura nodded back.

Sai skipped the greetings and went to look at a sketch that was sitting on the very back of the table, almost out of view. It was a figure of a girl who looked remarkably like the artist. "What brushes did you use for this?" He asked absently, "it's different than the others. The ink is of a higher quality and the strokes are much wider. It's also a complete work, and not a sketch"

At that, the girl who owned the display reddened slightly and pulled the painting back, "this one's not for sale," she told him, "it's the present Kazuya-kun gave me when he asked me to be his date for the festival."

Sai tilted his head to one side, "festival? Could this be the celebration of the establishment of Suna?" He vaguely remembered Kankuro mentioning it during his 'date' with Sakura.

The girl nodded, "some people make a really big deal out of asking their dates, but I like Kazuya-kun's way. He painted me while I sat still," her cheeks went slightly pinker, "he doesn't paint often, but he's really talented."

"That's so sweet!" Sakura exclaimed, leaning over the table to convey the full extent of her jealousy, "it's adorable! Take notes, Sai!"

The pale boy simply ignored the statement, and turned to look at the other works. He pointed to a painting of a sparrow balanced on a branch, "what did you use for that one?"

Seeing that he was in his artist mode once again, Sakura left him to talk with the display owner and turned around, watching the crowd. The overhangs of the buildings above had been emptied for the event, and she looked up, squinting against the glaring sun that shone between the rungs.

That was when she felt something soft land on her shoulder.

Shinobi senses on full alert, she slapped her hands onto her shoulder and grabbed whatever had fallen. When she brought the thing in front of her eyes, she tilted her head, confused.

It was a sakura blossom. What on earth was a sakura blossom doing in Suna? Something was definitely wrong.

She narrowed her eyes and glanced up, only to see more pink blossoms gently drifting down, landing lightly on the sandy ground. All around her, the Suna people were whispering in excitement, although she had no idea why. She turned around to see that Sai was standing there looking just as confused.

"Sakura!"

She spat out a sakura blossom that had landed in her gaping mouth and turned quickly at the voice. When she saw who it was, Inner Sakura began to protest.

"Kankuro…" Sakura gave him a watery smile, trying to ignore the blossom that had slipped down the back of her shirt and was now lodged rather awkwardly.

The other chunin walked towards her, and this time his kabuki paint was minimal. Instead of the black hoods he used to wear, he had a brown cloak draped over his shoulders.

"I see you've taken my advice in coming to the festival," he remarked, smiling widely, "how are you liking it?"

She was rather disturbed at the fact that  _everyone nearby_ was watching them. But Kankuro was probably used to it, being the son of the previous Kazekage. "Um…it's nice," she stuttered, "why are there…um…" she pointed up at the pink blossoms drifting down from the sky.

"Because they were the only things that could rival your looks, Sakura," Kankuro told her while Inner Sakura screamed of cliché, "I thought they might set a nice background."

"Ah…they're very nice…" she tried, still standing rather awkwardly in the cleared circle, beyond which Suna civilian eyes were watching in interest.

"Haruno Sakura, would you be my date for the Shodai's festival next week?" Kankuro asked, holding out a hand.

The people all around burst into happy cheers, and behind her even Sai – who she had made up her mind to throttle later – was clapping politely. Sakura groaned.

* * *

 

On the overhands above, the Yondaime Kazekage was holding a large basket. He watched in interest as his sister took a handful of sakura blossoms from the basket and dropped them below.

"Was this really necessary?" She grumbled, "I can't believe he convinced us to help him…" Kankuro had given them _those_ eyes, and  _those_ eyes somehow happened to be as cute and effective as they had been when he was five.

"These imported flowers were expensive," Gaara commented, "my question is, was it necessary to order them at high-speed delivery?"

"No," Temari sighed, grabbing more petals, "no it wasn't."

* * *

 

_Shizune-san,_

_I am writing this report in lieu of Kakashi-sensei, because he and Naruto are in prison for two weeks. Don't ask why, and if shishou is there, tell her to stop laughing. It's not funny, seriously. Our mission has been finished to Kazekage-sama's satisfaction, and we are simply waiting here for our teammates to be released. When that happens, we will run back quickly enough to put Gai-sensei and Lee to shame._

_-Haruno Sakura_

_PS: if you by some miracle happen to have fifteen million ryo on hand, I will do anything for it_. Anything.

 


	10. I Like You

**Chapter 10 – I Like You**

"Maa, come eat lunch. You can't sleep forever."

Naruto remained under the sheets in firm and utter denial.

"It's some kind of curry, I think. At this point even my stomach has grown used to it."

He didn't move a limb. Kakashi-sensei  _knew._  Somehow, this felt worse than having Sasuke walk in on him. Because his head was saying something about Kakashi-sensei that he  _really_ didn't want to think about.

After another few minutes in which the sound of chewing filled the room and Naruto realized his stomach was protesting like mad, he slowly peeked out of the sheets. He saw Kakashi sitting on the other bed, spooning brown rice into his mouth. Brown rice was icky. He was perfectly aware that no one could grow good rice in the desert, but Rice Country existed for a reason. Maybe Gaara was just too cheap to import.

Naruto walked across the cell to pick up his bowl, which had been left on the small stand outside the bars as usual. He returned carefully to his bed and began eating in silence.

Was Kakashi-sensei feeling just as weird and awkward? Was Kakashi-sensei thinking pervy-thoughts too? Did Kakashi-sensei feel like running all the way to Konoha and hiding under a rock?

For one, short, vindictive moment, Naruto wondered what his sensei would say if he told him about that time in the showers, just to even them out.

No. No way. He shook his head vigorously, ignoring the fact that Kakashi was now looking at him strangely. But…what was he supposed to do if he had a  _problem_ again? He couldn't deal with it. His stupid sensei had a stupidly good nose. Was he just supposed to wait for it to go away? Wouldn't that show under the material of his pants? It certainly  _had_ shown the previous night. How long did that take? What if he thought about dead cats, would that speed it up?

He looked up to observe the other man, watching his expression as he ate. Did sensei think he was a pervert? No, he couldn't think that. Not after he had been in such pleasure at the same time. But then again, Kakashi read ecchi for hours on end…

Naruto finished his food and stood up to leave the bowl outside, where Taji would come take it later on. Kakashi's bowl was already there, and he was leaning back against his bed, Icha Icha in hand.

"Kakashi-sensei?" He asked warily, "I though you were trying not to read because you didn't want to memorize the book?"

The jonin gave him a dead look, "yes, I thought I could occupy myself with my cute student, but he seems to be ignoring me." With that, his one open eye returned to the pages.

So they were going to play 'I'll forget if you will'. Fine. That was good. Naruto slowly went over to sit by him, keeping a certain weird-and-pervy part of his brain firmly pushed to the corner. Kakashi-sensei called Sakura-chan and Sasuke cute too, after all. "You can put the book away now. If you want."

"Oh, good. I knew Konoha's Number one Unpredictable Ninja couldn't remain embarrassed for too long," he put the book down, smiling. The smile was slightly strained.

Naruto reddened. What happened to 'I'll forget if you will?'...No. He was a man, now. He didn't have to make a big deal out of it. "I didn't think your nose was  _that_ good," he replied stiffly.

"Well, it was either you or the guard outside. And he didn't seem like the type."

Naruto winced, wondering how on earth his sensei was able to speak about that so evenly. "What do we do until Sakura-chan arrives?" He asked, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

Kakashi turned to look out the barred window. "I find that cloud watching is a particularly good way to occupy time."

"But that's what boring people like Shikamaru do," he stuck out his tongue, "sitting around watching clouds all day is  _boring._ "

"Shikamaru happens to be one of the smartest shinobi of your generation," his sensei pointed out, still glancing lazily out the window.

Naruto noted it again. Kakashi-sensei seemed to be avoiding looking at him for too long. His sensei had no problem with eye contact; he had glared Gai into defeat during many a challenge. But now his one open eye was always careful not to look at him for too long, flitting around the room instead. Naruto found that it made him feel strange inside, and not in the pleasant way.

"There aren't any clouds!" He yelled, trying to be extra loud to regain the attention of that grey eye.

Kakashi turned back to give him a brief smile before looking back out to the clear blue sky above the desert. "Cloud watching is a task for the imagination," he explained, "the less cloud there is, the more of one's imagination is stimulated."

Naruto knew that tone. "This is one of your bullshit 'pearls of wisdom', isn't it?" He grumbled, shifting closer to his sensei's side, "the ones that sound really deep and meaningful but actually don't mean anything?"

"The very same, yes." Kakashi had stiffened slightly at the contact. Just another way he was trying to keep his distance. Naruto gritted his teeth in agitation.

"And it's always  _me_ that falls for them!" He burst out, "Sakura-chan knew all along that they weren't deep cause she's smart, but she never told me! I mean, I pondered that 'underneath the underneath' stuff for days because you said that it would help me be a better shinobi. If you're looking underneath the underneath, wouldn't you just be looking at the top of it?"

"Yes, yes you would," the jonin replied, settling back against the wall, "now that you're a better shinobi, you finally understand it."

Naruto gave him a dry look, but paused. The compliment had been hidden somewhere, but there had definitely been one. Sensei usually made it very clear when he was making fun of someone He grinned widely, "you still haven't answered the question, Kakashi-sensei. What are we going to do for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Cloud watching, of course."

Naruto groaned.

* * *

 

Five hours later, three shinobi stood outside their cellblock. Taji leaned back against the stucco door, observing the two Konoha nin in front of him. "Huh. You're late."

The pink-haired girl gave him the most pitiful look she could manage. The pale boy looked to his right, noted her expression, and unsuccessfully tried to copy it. They were both slightly disheveled; their hair was sweaty as if they had been out all day, and the hems of their brown cloaks were covered in sand and mud. The girl in particular had some pink flower petals stuck in her hair.

"Visiting hours are over."

The two pairs of eyes remained focused on him.

The guard sighed and ran a hand through his cropped hair, "the things I do for you idiots…" He turned around and unlocked the door to the cellblock, wondering about his next raise.

Haruno Sakura sighed in relief. "Thank you so much," she breathed, "I could kiss you right now."

Taji turned around and waited, tapping his foot.

"…I  _could_ ," she clarified, waving a hand in dismissal, "but I'd like to wait for the right guy, you know?"

"That's a funny thing for a married girl to say," he observed dryly, turning back to the door.

"She's still in denial," Sai explained, "Sometimes she likes to think she's available. Kakashi-san doesn't really mind."

Taji whistled as he led them down the corridor, "a man with good looks, freedom,  _and_ size. At first I was wondering what the hell you were doing, but what more can a girl want, eh?"

"Uh…yeah," Sakura laughed nervously while shooting Sai a glare. She briefly contemplated stepping on his foot again, but her inner medic reminded her that she was going to break his foot one of these days if she kept it up. Sai didn't deserve  _that._ He was still a fairly nice person in general…if she looked hard enough…precisely enough…maybe with a pair of  _really_ strong glasses…

When the guard swung open the door to the cell, Sakura and Sai both peered in to see a strange sight. Both of their teammates were on the bed to the right, but Naruto had his head buried in the pillow while their sensei was lying on his back and looking out at the clear blue sky through the window. The sheets were pooled beneath his neck, angling his face completely out of their sight.

"I find that one especially interesting," Kakashi commented, looking out lazily at the sky, "it resembles a strawberry, if you look hard enough."

"You're  _worse_ than Shikamaru," Naruto grumbled into the pillow, "there isn't a single cloud up there. Not a speck."

"You have to look hard enough, Naruto. Remember what I said? Look underneath the underneath. And look, my wife seems to have arrived."

At that, Naruto leapt up, noting that Taji and Sakura and Sai were standing in the doorway. He stumbled off the bed, stepping over Kakashi's middle in the process, and ran over to the bars with a wide grin.

"Sakura-chan!" He yelled, "I'm so glad you're here! Sensei's even more boring than the sand, when he tries!" Well, that wasn't true. His brain was in the process of  _thinking_ of some rather interesting Kakashi-sensei thoughts that he was attempting to repress.

Sakura had her eyes eagerly locked on the back of their sensei's head, hoping for a brief glimpse as he got up. Unfortunately, his hand reached out for his book first, and he used it to completely cover his face before moving. By the time he made it over to the bars, she was giving him a thoroughly annoyed look. Behind them, Taji closed the door and left.

"Good evening, Sakura, Sai," Kakashi nodded at them, "you both look…tired. And…why do you smell like pollen?" His voice came slightly muffled from behind the book.

"Kankuro bought her flowers and asked her to the Shodai's festival," Sai explained promptly, ignoring Naruto's horrified look, "more importantly, Suna's cultural art is quite good. I would like to come by sometime after our mission is over."

Sakura bumped her head against the bars, ignoring Naruto's expression. At this point, she was beginning to feel rather sorry for Kankuro. No one should have to deal with her teammate as a protective barrier. Naruto was a force of nature.

Kakashi looked on calmly, "I'm glad you like it, Sai. This is a good step forward in regaining your emotions. All you need to do is to apply those feelings to other people instead of inanimate objects."

Sai frowned, "but I feel those things precisely because they are inanimate objects, and therefore have less of the inferior qualities I notice in humans. The drawings are just as aesthetically pleasing as Sakura-san occasionally is-"

Sakura momentarily brightened.

"-but I receive much less pain around them. And they have more symmetry."

Her head met with the bars again.

Their sensei sighed and ran one hand through his hair, "you have a long way to go…"

"Can we get to the more  _important_ issue?" Naruto demanded, looking around at the three of them with a stunned expression, "can we figure out how we're going to deal with Kankuro? I mean, poor Sakura-chan has to reject him all by herself, that's not fair!"

Sakura cleared her throat, "actually, I…uh…accepted," she said quietly, wincing at their sensei's amused look.

"What?" Naruto burst out, "you can't go out with him! Just tell him off!"

"In her defense, she couldn't refuse," Sai pointed out, "he asked her in front of a large crowd. Saying no would have been a grave insult." He watched his teammate's face curiously. Yamato-taicho had always said that Naruto was a good person for emotional observation, and he understood why. Kakashi simply watched his students in silent humor.

"It won't be an  _actual_ date," she rushed to add, "it'll just be the two of us at a festival, going to stands and watching performers and stuff. Just like how went together for Tanabata that year! I hear the festival has great puppet shows!" Sakura laughed. It was a strained laugh.

"Maa, have fun," Kakashi told her, "maybe this one will go better than the one with Lee. You really have no luck in these things."

"I should just give up," she agreed, "but I have to go. And the festival is during the late evening, so I can't just throw a cloak on over my pajamas or something. I have to  _dress up,_ " she said the term as if it was something horrifying. Back in Konoha, picking out something fancy to wear was a treat, but right now it was starting to look like a burden.

"I'll offer my assistance," Sai declared, "you have no eye for color, Sakura-chan. That pink one did not suit you. You were just pink from head to toe."

"…I thought that actually matched pretty well," she muttered dejectedly.

At that moment, the door to the outer cell swung open, and Taji peered in. "Time's up, pinky. Get out."

"Can't they have a little while longer?" Naruto whined, "she's about to make a big mistake and we have to stop her. Cause we're her teammates."

"And husband," Kakashi added, though at this point it was clear that Taji was dull enough for it not to matter.

The guard stepped in and leaned against the doorframe with crossed arms, "listen, you only get ten minutes of visiting time, and you already came in late. I only let you in because you won't be able to visit tomorrow."

Naruto looked horrified, "why can't they visit?!"

"He needs them to maintain his sanity," Kakashi explained. Naruto couldn't help but agree. His brain was taking some strange turns.

"A friend of my teammate's is coming over tomorrow," Taji drawled, "he's considering working here as a guard, and he got me to agree to show him around before he made a decision. I think he just wants to talk to the prisoners and stuff to see if he can handle them. I won't be here to bring you any visitors and none of the other guards are actually qualified handle the high riskers."

Sakura gave him a coy smile, "is this the same friend who convinced you to come bac-"

"Yeah," the guard grunted, "that guy. Now shut up and get out, kid."

The two visitors reluctantly walked out of the cell. Sakura looked behind mournfully as she went, "you just have one more week in here, Naruto. You can last one more week…"

"Keep going, you know the way by now," Taji told them, "right down the corridor, and then turn right. Close the door behind you, don't come back tomorrow. I've got to take your troublesome teammates to the food hall and you've already made me late," he yelled down the corridor, watching as Sakura's pink head disappeared around the corner. Then he turned back to the cell and walked over to unlock the inner door.

Kakashi lowered the book, revealing a blank expression. "Sakura's not a kid," he said evenly.

Taji slipped the keys back into the pocket of his flak jacket and pulled the door open, "she's a kid, and I know it. It's not about how grown-up she is, it's the look in her eyes," he grunted, "she's got the look of someone who thinks that anything's possible, and that's the look of a kid if I've ever seen one."

"Anything  _is_ possible!" Naruto protested, "Sakura-chan is awesome, because she can get anything done if she sets her mind to it!" He stomped out of the cell, giving the guard a peeved look. His sensei followed behind silently, and Taji turned to him again.

"Am I reminding you of how much younger your wife is?" He drawled, "some men would be proud of that, you know. I know I would be. But I guess not everyone can have a pretty face."

At that, Kakashi remained silent.

* * *

 

When they returned from dinner, Naruto had a look on utter concentration on his face. He walked over to sit on the bed and crossed his arms, "they  _were_ worse than usual," he stressed, "they didn't  _do_ anything."

"Some would think that was a good thing," Kakashi replied, sitting down beside him and picking up his book, "the guards must have spoken to them."

"I  _know_ that look, sensei," Naruto said, "it's the 'I'm going to wait and laugh' look. They did something."

There were various types of  _looks_ that he had learned to recognize. First was the normal  _look,_ the one that most of the civilians still gave him when he walked down the streets of Konoha. That was one was harmless; it looked really scary, but that was only because they knew they couldn't do anything. Then there was the open  _look,_ the one the academy kids would sometimes give him before they tried to beat him up. That one was harmless too because he would beat up them right back.

The silent  _look_ was different. It was found in the eyes of people like Mizuki-sensei, who hated him and had the power to harm him and wasn't afraid to do it. Mizuki-sensei had started giving him that look weeks before the academy graduation exam; he looked on with the silent 'I'm waiting' look that Naruto had quickly grown to feel nervous around.

"I'll keep an eye out, if you want," Kakashi told him, noting his student's serious tone, "if there's any real danger, I won't hesitate to break the no-chakra rule, Naruto."

Naruto grinned, worry washing away. If Kakashi-sensei said he would keep an eye out, then nothing would be missed. He still hadn't seen his sensei lose a single battle in all the years he'd known him. He leaned back against the wall and folded his legs beneath him, "if we break the no chakra rule and go back to Konoha, won't we start problems?"

"Of course," Kakashi replied evenly, "we'll have to find somewhere else to go. There's always your idea of running away to Kumo."

He frowned, "will we  _really_ have to do that?"

His sensei smiled slightly, "of course not. Gaara will listen to Tsunade-sama, and if his council protests she'll come and deal with them herself. And probably with her little finger, too. The only reason she hasn't intervened so far is because she probably finds all of this terribly funny," he paused, "I really hope Sakura wrote our report for me. She's the fukutaicho of our squad, after all…"

"No fair, why can't I be fukutaicho?" Naruto whined.

"Because you're still a genin," Kakashi reminded him, "and besides,  _someone_ needs to help Sai carry the tents."

His student simply turned over the sheets and placed his hands behind his hand, looking out the window. "Poor Sakura-chan. If Kankuro annoys her too much, I'll have to deal with him."

"Only if she doesn't punch him to Iwa first."

Naruto turned his head to watch his sensei's back, noting that he could look at guard even though he was slouched over. The weird feeling was back, and he realized with a sinking feeling that he couldn't push it away anymore.

* * *

 

"Green, Sai? Really?"

Haruno Sakura stood in the small clothing store, watching her reflection in a full-length mirror. Outside, the evening sun was just beginning to set, and its faint rays were streaming in.

Some part of her admitted that the kimono the owner of the place had helped her into was actually quite nice. It was a simple, patterned green, with a wide sash of the same color in a darker shade around her middle. But…green? She was always very careful not to wear green, because of how it stood out from her hair.

"It is complementary to pink," Sai explained from where he was sitting on an empty rack nearby. He looked rather bored, which was understandable since they had been there for three hours and the lady who owned the place was giving them the 'pay or get out' look.

"But it clashes!" Sakura protested, "and the pattern isn't that fashionable…" Ino would have her slipping into something of a deep blue or a brighter pink, maybe with silver-threaded embellishments. This kimono was more traditional, like something Hinata would wear to her clan events. But it suited her so well…

"I have no interest in fashion," her teammate replied, "but as an artist I am fairly confident in my ability to choose things that are aesthetically pleasing. Besides, this fabric is much less stiff than the others. Maybe if you wear it tightly it will look like you have curves. That's 'fashionable', isn't it?"

The civilian lady behind the counter laughed heartily and asked if she needed help wearing it tighter. Sakura gritted her teeth, and nodded stiffly, trying not to meet the eyes of the boy she was going to throttle later on.

* * *

 

"Sensei, do you think I'm a kid?"

The question was abrupt and sudden, especially since they had just gotten into bed to sleep. They had started sleeping early, since there was only so much of sand-counting and non-existent cloud-watching one could do before feeling the boredom seep in. But Naruto was the farthest thing from bored, and he felt like he had to ask.

Kakashi shifted in the sheets so that he was facing him, but his back remained firmly pressed against the wall behind the bed. He was still slightly paranoid of ending up in the same position they had found themselves in after the second night in the cell. "If I think Sakura is an adult, then so are you," he relied evenly, "why the sudden curiosity?"

Naruto bit his lip. Could he tell him that it was because his stupid brain had been imagining his sensei in all sorts of states of undress, and he felt like a silly kid whose crush was going to laugh at him? Not that he had an actual  _crush,_ or anything. That was just weird. He thought of an answer, but he blurted out something before he could finish thinking.

"Then why don't you let me read Icha Icha Violence with you? I'm a really slow reader, sensei. That would keep me occupied and not-bored for days."

Why had he said that? Naruto felt like kicking himself. He would willingly admit to being a fool any day, but was he  _that_ idiotic? Did he  _want_ to be stuck with an arousal that he couldn't do anything about? Because it was obvious that Miyu's character was to blame. She was skewing his thoughts. It was because he'd imagined her licking Kakashi-sensei. That was why he felt a weird feeling in his stomach whenever he looked at him.

"It would also make Sakura come after me with a kunai," Kakashi pointed out, seemingly torn between amusement and other problems, "although Sai would be rather amused, I think. I believe he tried to buy Icha Icha books once after seeing me with them, thinking that I read for the same reason he did."

Silly Sai, Kakashi-sensei didn't need any social etiquette books.  _Other_ people needed books to interact with  _him,_ because he was stupidly complicated and not simple like everyone else. "Fine," he mumbled, "but we still have a week left."

"I'm sure we can finds things to do."

Naruto reddened slightly at the weird interpretations his brain was making. Pervy ones. "Like what, make sandcastles?"

"Only if you convince Taji-san to bring us lots of water," Kakashi muttered. With that, he closed his eyes and turned onto his back to sleep, leaving his scarred eye out of reach. It was another weird thing that Kakashi-sensei did. He always slept on his back, and he never left his Sharingan eye unguarded.

That was it. He was running out of reasons to explain it away. There was no more denying it; he had a…a  _crush_ on Kakashi-sensei. Naruto stayed on his side, eyes slightly open to watch that usually masked profile. It was clear that he wasn't going to get much sleep that night.

It wasn't the same as it had been with Sakura-chan. He'd liked Sakura-chan from the moment he saw her, because she was pretty. Not pretty like the  _really_ pretty girls, but she was pretty on the inside too and that made up for more. That crush had started high and gone down, and not because he'd stopped liking her. He liked her  _more_ now, but just…differently. He liked her in a way that involved holding hands, but not kissing. Spending time together, but not doing ecchi things.

Kakashi-sensei was different. First, he was just a really cool jonin. Then he was an amazing sensei. But the slightly weird feeling had started when they'd begun training in his futon nature, and now it was too hard to deny.

Did this mean he liked…guys?

Naruto winced. There weren't many men who liked other men in Konoha, and they usually kept quiet about it. How did men sleep with other men, anyway? His brain was putting things together from sheer intuition, fantasies of having sensei's lips on his and his hands gliding over him and his body pressed up against him, but he'd never been in a relationship before. Apart from his occasional observing of civilian couples, he really didn't know what having a lover was like. What was Kakashi-sensei like? Naruto couldn't think of him being shy or romantic, but he was serious and kind and he could be sensual and…

He didn't know the first thing about what it was like to like another man. There weren't many who did, after all.

But that was ok, because there were  _some._ A few, here and there. And some of the memorable shinobi of history had been known to take lovers of the same gender, which was revealed after their deaths if they were well-known enough. Many shinobi remained single, after all, and they had much more freedom than the civilians when it came to lovers.

But Kakashi was his  _sensei._ Relationships like that weren't  _forbidden,_ but they just never  _happened,_ even if Kakashi-sensei was younger than most jonin-sensei. Well, Kiba had had a crush on Kurenai-sensei at first, and she was even older. But Kurenai-sensei had just smiled about it and thought he was cute, because she had Asuma-sensei at her place almost every night and, well, Kiba had a good nose too. And he didn't take it badly, because it was just a crush and he'd gotten over it and now he was making Hinata stutter more than ever while rejecting him.

Naruto didn't know how he would act if Kakashi-sensei had someone at his place every night, but it would not be fun. Besides, Kakashi-sensei didn't have a lover, he'd made that clear. He didn't take lovers. Every kunoichi in Konoha knew that Hatake Kakashi wouldn't hesitate to say no if a girl asked him out.

Would he hesitate for a guy?...

Naruto paused. He didn't know. Kakashi-sensei was kind of a private person…

Yeah, and Sunagakure was a little sandy.

Right, he was a  _very_ private person. Even when they had met, all he had revealed was his name. The  _only_ thing any of them had known about his background was that he had a best friend who died, and that the person's name was on the memorial he visited. Apart from that…well now Naruto knew a little about his father, who was some great shinobi who had fallen hard and left his son to deal with the rest. He knew that Kakashi-sensei was the student of he Yondaime, and that he's forgotten about his third teammate.

Sakura-chan probably knew more. She'd been on his team while Naruto had been away, and now he was starting to wonder just how much he'd missed during those years. How much did Yamato-taicho know? What about Gai-sensei, or the other jonin-sensei?

Naruto shook his head into his pillow, averting his eyes from his sensei's form beside him. Those weren't pervy thoughts, but they were somehow  _worse._ It was one thing to want to feel his sensei's lips on his and his hands stroking his cock in that practiced motion…

It was another thing completely to want to  _know_ about him. That wasn't Ero-Sennin's pervy stuff. That was… _relationship_ stuff, like…the stuff  _Ino_ talked about when it came to Sasuke.

What in the Five Countries was he supposed to do now?

Well, it had been pretty straightforward with Sakura-chan. He'd gone ahead and told her that he liked her, and then she'd made herself clear, and that was ok because it meant she respected him enough not to deal out any pity.

And then there was Miyu. When Miyu found that she had gotten…wet from thinking about Jio, she'd gone ahead and told him about it. Well, she hadn't exactly said that she liked him. She'd  _actually_ told him that she was wet for him and asked him to come to her room so that she could show him. Same thing, really. This was Ero-Sennin's book.

Naruto winced slightly at the fact that he was looking up to a character from a pervy book to make decisions, but he had to admit that Ero-Sennin put a lot of through into his characters. Miyu was like him, or like Tsunade baa-chan; she wasn't afraid to tell the world what she thought. That was always the best thing to do.

And he wasn't getting any sleep, anyway.

He reached out and nudged his sensei's arm. Kakashi woke, opening his eyes slowly and blinking a few times. By now the cell had long gone dark with night, and only some dim streaks from the moon were shining in, although none of them fell on his face.

"Naruto?" Kakashi asked sleepily. His voice was slightly husky, and Naruto shivered from hearing it. It sounded far too much like the quiet, throaty breathing he'd emitted before.

"Kakashi-sensei, I like you."

There. It was out. There were a few minutes of silence in the cell, before Kakashi's slowly turned to look at him, eyes still slightly glazed over with sleep.

"Well I'd be worried if you  _dis_ likedme," he yawned, "after all we've been through I'd like to think that much would be obvious."

Well that hadn't happened before. Sakura-chan had hit him, and when he'd been in his Sasuke-henge she'd leaned forward and looked at him with an exhilarating look. He didn't expect Kakashi to hit him, but it would've been nice if he'd actually understood.

He'd expected either a calm and thoroughly explained rejection that would have hopefully beat up the pervy part of his brain. Or – if there was any chance – he'd expected Kakashi to maybe lean forward and kiss him and show him that what he'd done with Sasuke really didn't count. But that was just the pervy thoughts talking again.

Stupid sensei. Was he being thick on purpose? Naruto searched his face, but it was too carefully calm to be read. Or maybe Kakashi-sensei was just really tired. They'd been lying around all day, why the hell was he tired?

Naruto opened his mouth to clarify, but the jonin had already turned back towards the ceiling, and his chest reverted into the slow up-down motions of rest. His face was still in the shadow, just out of reach of the moonlight that fell onto his silver hair.

Fine. Maybe it was just the lethargy-stuff making his brain weird. Maybe it would be gone by morning, and he could tell Ero-Sennin about the weird pervy thoughts he'd had and they could laugh about it together. Naruto rolled over in the blankets, taking a fair amount of them with him as he turned.

Long after he'd fallen asleep, Hatake Kakashi woke up and found that he couldn't.


	11. Lovers Without Dates

**Chapter 11 – Lovers Without Dates**

When Sakura left the shop with a deep green kimono folded into a paper-wrapped bundle tucked under her arm and a deep red blush of embarrassment on her face, the sky was already turning dim. She hugged the brown cloak closer over her shoulders – now for the cold instead of the heat – and determinedly ignored the boy walking beside her.

"Have I done something that offends you, Sakura-san?" Sai asked as they walked down the dim sandy streets of Suna, "you have to tell me, you know. I've already made it clear that I'm not good at reading your actions. It seems like a lifelong project, these days."

"Why does everyone call me flat-chested?" Sakura mumbled, hugging the cloak closer, "I'm perfectly normal, anatomically. So what if I'm an A-cup? So what if I'm not like Ino and Hinata and shishou? Shizune is almost my size and  _she's_  pretty."

"She is also single at the age of thirty."

"She's spent her life taking care of shishou!" Sakura snapped, shivering a little at a chill that passed by, "that didn't exactly provide opportunities for romance, you know."

Sai turned to watch her with a bland smile, "so you do not like being referred to as flat-chested, Sakura-san?"

"I've made that clear!"

"But it is the truth. And Kankuro-san doesn't seem to mind-"

"Shut up, Sai."

"-and I don't see the problem, either," Sai went on as they passed another store shutting down for the day, "my anbu conditioning dealt with most of my inborn emotions, so I am not exactly sure if my gender naturally prefers these things, but I can assure you that your figure is fine."

Sakura stopped in her step, looking at her teammate with surprise. That…was the most he'd ever said about her looks. He was regaining his emotions slowly…could he  _like_ her? She didn't like him in the same way (she hadn't liked anyone the same way since Sasuke) but it was flattering. He was an artist, after all, and had an eye for beauty.

"Thanks, Sai," she smiled, "sometimes you really know how to bring a person's spirits up. I mean, Iknow my figure is normal, and I'm perfectly comfortable with it."  _Yeah!_ Inner Sakura added,  _we're awesome!_

"Exactly," Sai nodded, smiling, "the problem with your looks isn't with your chest but with your lack of symmetry-"

Sakura groaned and clutched the cloak tighter, continuing to walk with a slight drag in her step. Thinking that maybe life would throw her a bone was just silly at this point.

They walked for a while in silence through the darkening streets, watching the shops on either side turns their lights off and hang 'closed' signs on their doors. By the next day, this entire place would be closed off for the festival, and there would be bright lanterns and music and the puppets that Sunagakure was known for.

"Maybe it'll be fun," she said out loud, "the festival, I mean. It's a festival, after all. I don't need to act like I'm going to my funeral. I'll just have to humor Kankuro for a while until I find a good time to cut it off. No more being nice, that didn't work." Ino would've had him off her in seconds. Sakura could only dream for that sort of romantic tact and wail over her complete lack of experience.

"Indeed," Sai nodded, "maybe you and Kankuro will end up making a good couple. He certainly seems willing." He gave her another bland smile, and his pale face was clear even in the dim lights.

Sakura huffed, holding the wrapped kimono close, "no," she said, "I don't want to date him. I don't want to date anyone."

"You wanted to date Sasuke," her teammate pointed out, "dickless told me many interesting stories about that. You seemed more persistent than Kankuro, actually."

"Sasuke was different, he's the only exception," she said firmly, " _when_ we get him back, I'll never give up, even if he keeps rejecting me until we're old and gray, even if we'll only ever be friends. I'm just not interested in anyone else," she paused, "maybe I'll be like Anko-sensei, a fun bachelorette with lots of freedom. But until then, I'm going to focus on becoming the best medic I can and being part of Team Seven."

Sai looked impressed and slightly disappointed at the same time. Maybe he was cheering for Kankuro.

After a few more minutes, the sight of their hotel appeared in the distance. The sun had almost set, and there was no one on the streets apart from another brown-cloaked figure walking the opposite way, hood drawn up. Thoroughly exhausted from walking all the way to the prison and back, Sakura and Sai both went past the figure without looking.

"Oi! You're just going to ignore me?"

The playful tone echoed loudly through the empty streets, and both Konoha nin turned sharply. Sakura's eyes widened in recognition when the other figure pulled down the hood of her cloak, revealing a plain face surrounded by long dark hair.

"Yora-san from the tea house," Sai noted, "the woman who was with Taji-san."

"Yora-san!" Sakura greeted, "sorry, we didn't recognize you. We're a little tired…"

The Suna kunoichi gave them an amused look tinged with pity, "I can tell. You poor things, you look like you've been out all day. That's not wise here in the desert."

Sakura nodded mournfully, "my skin feels like it's been fried," she looked at her teammate, "I don't even want to know how Sai feels right now. He's at least five shades lighter than me."

"…If I could, I would not like to feel how I feel right now either," Sai agreed, "this is not fun." He touched a hand to pale neck and winced.

Yora watched them sympathetically. "I hope I'm not keeping you from anything-"

"No, no you're not," Sakura sighed, "we don't have anything better to do." And besides, with all the people trying to sell them things, the prison guards, Naruto's jealousy, Sai's lack of tact, and the mean lady in the clothing store who had teased her about her figure, Yora was the only nice person she'd seen that day.

"How are your friends?" Yora went on, "is the younger Hatake still alright? Only a week left, right? I suppose you're all excited to be getting back to Konoha."

Sakura remembered the Godaime Hokage's response to her last report – which was roughly 'hahahahakidifIhadfifteenmillionryoyouknowexactlyw hatIwoulddo. TellNarutotohavefun', scrawled across the page in her messy script – and winced. "Naruto and Kakashi-sensei are fine," she told her with a strained smile, "they're bored out of their mind, but I think they can last the week. Then…we will run."

"Ah, good," Yora chuckled, "I think you'll like tomorrow, we have a festival happening here in Suna to celebrate the anniversary of our village's founding."

Sai nodded and gestured to the wrapped package under Sakura's arm, "we are going. Sakura-san has been asked to go by Kankuro of the Suna council."

"Lucky girl," Yora looked at her approvingly, "caught the eye of a young council member? You've got a future here in Suna," she tapped one finger against her chin, "Kankuro…the puppet master, isn't he? Brother of Kazekage-sama himself. Good choice."

"Wasn't my choice," Sakura muttered under her breath.

"Anyway, you probably want to get to your hotel and clean up. Maybe I'll see you around sometime," she gave them a small wave and then turned to leave, walking towards the empty, dark streets.

After she left, Sakura and Sai continued on their way to the hotel, and when they reached Sakura's hotel room she ran in and collapsed face-first onto the bed, tossing the kimono and her cloak onto the floor and digging her face into wonderfully soft pillows.

Sai followed her in, "Sakura-san, how did that kunoichi know the length of their sentence?" He asked, placing his cloak on the hanger by the door.

"Huh," Sakura looked up from the pillow and shrugged, "Maybe Taji-san told her."

* * *

 

The pervy-thoughts hadn't gone away by morning. The thin sheets remained firmly positioned over his head.

"Naruto, is there a reason you're pretending to sleep?" Kakashi sighed, sitting at the foot of the bed, "wake up, you'll get bedsores."

Silence.

"Your muscles will atrophy."

"Sakura-chan will fix it," came from the mumble from under the blankets. He couldn't look out. Looking out would bring the thoughts back in  _hoards._ Especially since Kakashi-sensei's hair was wonderfully ruffled in the mornings, and…well…

"Come watch clouds with me."

Naruto remained in bed. No. There was no way he was getting out unless he had to. He could pretend he'd fallen sick, or something. But no, Kakashi-sensei would know he was lying because Kyuubi made sure he never fell sick. He heard shifting where the other man was probably reaching over for Icha Icha, temporarily giving up on his stubborn student.

After a few more minutes, the door to the cell was opened, and Taji strolled in, hands in the pockets of his flak jacket. He was looking slightly brighter than usual. He walked over to the inner door and unlocked the bars.

"Come on, you two. You're showering a little early today because I have to go meet with Kuroda later on. I see you under those sheets kid, get up and get out."

Naruto reluctantly parted himself from the blankets, avoiding Kakashi's gaze as he slipped out of the bed and hurriedly followed Taji out of the cell. Looking at his face wouldn't help the thoughts. He almost stepped on the guard's heels as they were led down the corridor.

"Taji-san, if you're going to be busy, who will bring us our meals?" Kakashi questioned, "when you left last time, you forgot to assign that task."

"Yeah, yeah," Taji grumbled, "even if I had tried, I wouldn't have found anyone. No one would willingly walk all the way to the outer cells for two prisoners, and there's that issue with you looking like your old man too. I'll come by with food later on, I guess. But I won't have time to get you to dinner. You two can survive."

Kakashi nodded in satisfaction and continued to follow him silently through the large mess hall and into the empty central area. Since they had come earlier than usual, the faint scent of bodies still lingered in the air, and he had no doubt the showers would be especially wet.

"Alright," Taji stated, "I'm going to go take breakfast to some other prisoners while you're in here. Try to escape and I'll drag you back, I don't care how high-risk you are."

"We won't try anything, you know it," Kakashi nodded, pushing open the door. Naruto followed him in silently, watching as his sensei picked a towel off the rack and slipped into the nearest stall.

For a long moment, Naruto was frozen by the towel rack. That was…the same stall. The stall he had gone into on  _that_ day. Kakashi picked stalls at random, and this was the first time since. That was the stall with the hole in the side…

If he entered the stall to the right, he would be able to see again.

Naruto shook his head firmly, but the thought had already gotten hooked. He pulled a towel off the rack and firmly stomped over to the stall on the  _left._ He wasn't supposed to like Kakashi-sensei that way, and it was clear from what he'd said that Kakashi didn't like him back either. Well, in  _that_ way, at least.

He turned the water on and stood under the spray, feeling the warm water wash over him. The water in Kakashi's stall was already turned on, and the uneven way it sounded was the only indication of Kakashi's body. It did strange things for his imagination.

No. Weird thoughts.

Naruto wondered what it would be like to have Kakashi-sensei's hand trailing down his front and tangling themselves in the dark blond curls below…

Weird thoughts.

He wondered what it would be like to sit back and have that erection press against him…

 _Weird_ thoughts.

Or maybe slip down and take Miyu's place in his imagination…

_Weird thoughts._

Naruto shook his head vigorously, but it was too late. He could already feel himself stirring and when he looked down, it was to see his own arousal under the spray of the water. His hands itched to reach down and take care of it, but he reminded himself of Kakashi-sensei's nose.

He shut his eyes firmly and thought of dead kittens. The deadest dead kittens that had ever died to death. He thought vigorously. His erection remained just as vigorous.

The water in the stall beside him splashed a little more on one side, indicating that maybe Kakashi-sensei had turned around for even water-distribution. Naruto felt his own cock twitch slightly, just from imagining Kakashi's naked form under the shower. He slipped out of the spray and leaned back against the wall of the shower stall, looking down at where he was hard and throbbing.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn't pretend it wasn't there – it would show! And even if he tried to employ the universal trick of tucking into his waistband…the waistband of the uniform pants were loose and stretchy! It wouldn't hold! And he kind of…grew. It wouldn't hold-and the person he had a silly little crush on was right in the next stall-and soon he was going to start leaking-and Kakashi-sensei would smell it anyway-

The throbbing pleasure was too much to hold back. Naruto reached down with a sinking feeling, and the slightest touch of his hand sent shivers up his body. He sagged slightly against the wall, placing his other hand against it for support. Looking down, he realized that his tip was already glistening – and not from the droplets of water from the shower – and realized that there was no point resisting.

It wasn't like he'd ever placed a lot of importance on self-control, anyway.

His hand didn't glide over like it had before – he was too  _ready_ for that. Instead it slid over his arousal in rough jerks that had him arching his back and gaping soundlessly. Maybe the wet slicks could be heard. The thought of Kakashi-sensei listening made him shudder with even more pleasure.

Maybe he was a reverse-voyeur too. Did those exist?

If they did, Miyu would be one. From the bits he had been able to read, it was clear that she loved inviting Jio in by stripping in the bright light and letting him see every inch of her.

Kakashi-sensei's was large too. Not as large as Shino, but pretty large. Larger than Naruto. (Larger than Gai-sensei too, going by a few glimpses at the onsen. Gai-sensei  _wasn't_ a very private man.)

Naruto mewed openly, and then quickly pressed a hand to his mouth. It was the hand that had been holding himself up against the wall. Unsupported, he slid down further. But the hand that was covering his open mouth had a more important job because it was blocking all the moans he really couldn't hold down.

The stream of warm water kept pouring nonchalantly before him, and the stucco wall was cold and grainy against his back.

This was bad, very bad. Jerking off was fine, jerking off thinking pervy thoughts about Kakashi-sensei for the  _second_ time was  _not._ Kakashi-sensei was definitely going to think that he had a mini-Ero-Sennin for a student, but Naruto realized that the hand sliding against his cock didn't seem to care. And he was pushing into his hand too, as if he wasn't already shuddering with more pleasure than he'd ever felt before.

At a moment's hesitance, he slid his hand  _off._ Maybe now that he'd brought himself  _almost_ there, it would go away…what kind of logic was that? His hand was frozen in the air and he was looking down at his heavily leaking, twitching cock wondering if he was really going to embarrass himself again.

The hand returned. When he got out, he would just have to continue the 'sensei is not here right now' game.

* * *

 

"Sakura-san, are you going to make a habit of sleeping in late?" Sai closed the window behind him and stepping into the room. He would've gone through the door, but ten straight minutes of knocking had been met with no response.

Sakura grunted inaudibly.

"It's almost noon. We didn't come back  _that_ late last night," he went on, looking around the room. He frowned at the clothes that were strewn everywhere. Sakura-san sure was messy. The brown cloak was hanging off the side of the bed while her red cheongsam was slung over the dresser. Beside the mirror…

"You were serious," he observed, walking over to the dresser and picking up the light blue piece of cloth, "you really  _are_ an A-cup."

Sakura's pink head slowly emerged from under the blankets, and she looked prepared for cold murder. Sai turned around and carefully dropped her bra back onto the dresser. "Anyway, you must hurry. The festival starts in six hours."

Sakura glared, "and  _why_ must I hurry?"

"Yamato-taicho once told me that girls take ridiculous amounts of time to dress up for occasions," Sai reported, "I thought that maybe you wouldn't want to be rushed."

"I'm not one of those girls anymore," she moaned, slipping out of bed with her white hotel-issue pajamas slightly twisted around her middle, "you could've just woken me up an hour before," she tried to finger-comb her hair, "it would've worked just fine."

"I wasn't aware of that."

"There's a lot of things that I want right now," Sakura stated, walking over to pick her cloak off the floor, "I want Kankuro to stop liking me. I want Naruto to not kill him. I want you to learn tact. I want to go back to Konoha.  _I want to see Kakashi-sensei's face,_ " she wailed.

"Ah, too bad none of that is possible," her teammate replied, "you have a date to prepare for."

"What are  _you_ going to do during the festival anyway?" She questioned, "are you going to stay at the hotel?"

"No," Sai sat at the edge of the bed, "I'll be there. I'll stay discreet, you don't need to worry."

She narrowed her eyes, "you're…just coming to laugh at my situation, aren't you."

"Maybe, Sakura-san. Maybe."

* * *

 

Naruto was able to last around three hours after lunch. He was actually quite proud of that. Self-control had never exactly been a strong point.

His sensei was sitting on the other bed with Icha Icha Violence while Naruto sorted grains of sand in silence. Occasionally, he shot him curious looks. Konoha's Unpredictable Ninja was not known for silence. At first his student had been red with embarrassment, but as someone of the male gender he wasn't sure why.

But now…he had been quietly  _thinking._ When on earth did Uzumaki Naruto  _think_?

He really wasn't good at staying quiet, though. Eventually the small sand structure collapsed and Naruto stood up in the cell, brushing the grains off his pants. Then he went directly over to where Kakashi was lounging with his back to the wall behind the bed, and sat in front of him.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi lowered the book, revealing a slightly guarded expression, "is something wrong, Naruto? You've never been quiet for that long. Maybe being in here addled your mind. I'm sure Sakura will fix it once we're out." He looked back down towards the book. But now that his mask was off, he wasn't so good at hiding his emotions and Naruto could see a flash of something that spurred him on.

He leaned forward, stepping over his sensei's leg, until he was looking directly at him. Miyu-chan wouldn't be nervous at all, and neither was he. This seemed like the fastest and simplest way forward, so he would take it. And hopefully Kakashi-sensei would do something about the pervy thoughts…whichever way it ended up. And the pervy thoughts were coming back because if he just leaned forward a little more he would be straddling…

"Do you actually remember what I said last night? After I woke you up?" Naruto questioned.

"I believe you told me you liked me," Kakashi replied evenly. Icha Icha was mostly discarded beside his leg.

"Yeah, well, I do like you," Naruto said matter-of-factly.

"I like you too, Naruto. You're a very promising shinobi, and I actually think your unpredictability can be seen as an advantage," the jonin brought the book back up, seemingly finished with the conversation. The green cover almost covered all of his face. He didn't want to think of how close his student's legs were.

In a rather bold move considering this was the Copy-Nin in front of him, Naruto reached forward and pulled the book away quickly, dropping it to the side. He could tell that Kakashi hadn't been expecting it.

It was because although his face morphed back into that calm expression, there had been a brief hint of something else. And while Naruto knew  _looks_ of hate well, he also knew how to recognize the opposite. It was the perfect opportunity to back away and laugh about it, but he didn't want to. Thinking was for smart people, and he had already told Ero-Sennin that he was content to be a fool. He didn't really know what he was doing, but he said it anyway.

"I like you  _that_ way."

There were a few seconds of silence in the cell. It wasn't a heavy silence like the past few hours had been. It was a light silence, one that waited in pushing anticipation to see what would happen. Naruto's eyes remained fixed on Kakashi's, and he was sure that his face alone conveyed enough wanting and…something  _else_ to make his words clearer than they had been the night before.

Kakashi sighed, and a new look of barely contained  _something_ flashed across his face, "I'm not sure how many more chances I can give you, Naruto."

Naruto tilted his head to one side, confused. "Chances?"

"To forget. To decide not to. It's not fair for you." Kakashi averted his eyes, and even his red Sharingan eye was slightly open because it took constant effort to keep it shut, and his effort was too busy focused on restraint. His back was pressed against the wall, as far back as he could go from the blond boy sitting on front of him.

"What do you mean by that?" Naruto demanded, still confused. He went ahead and shuffled forward until he was fully straddling the other man, with one knee on either side of his legs. His sensei made no move to either respond or push him off but he stiffened just slightly. "Is it because we're both guys?" He asked in a less demanding voice.

"No," his sensei rushed to tell him, "that's not a problem. That's normal, Naruto."

"Then what's the problem?" Now he was more confused. Some vague part of his brain realized that Kakashi-sensei had admitted to being the same, but he was more focused on the problem of how to get his stupid sensei to explain things properly.

Was this a rejection? If it was, he should just say it properly. Naruto knew that he would probably go after Kakashi just as much as he had with Sakura since the pervy thoughts weren't exactly going away. But it would be nice to know where they stood, first.

"Why did you tell me about your sense of smell?" Naruto demanded. Why did he? Didn't that just make everything more awkward? Surely he smelt the release of every other male who'd done  _that_ somewhere nearby? He didn't tell  _them_ he knew.

Kakashi stayed silent, eyes still focused on the opposite wall.

"I'm not embarrassed," he went on, "because I can hear it when you do it. You may have a good sense of smell, but I have good ear, sensei."

The other man's eyes widened imperceptibly, but he didn't react. "You never said."

"And it's not because of Icha Icha, is it? You go around with that book all the time. Something  _else_ made you hard." He knew he was getting at something. If only his stupid sensei would give him a hint…

"It's not. But…I'm much older than you," the jonin explained in what seemed like exasperation, "I'm not willing at all to participate in the casual dating you expect. I would prefer other things." His hands were slowly clenching into the sheets.

Something inside Naruto's stomach twisted in pleasure at the thought of 'other things'. "You could pass for twenty, sensei," he said, voice slightly higher than usual, "and I don't really care about that anyway. I'm an adult in shinobi years."

"You barely pass the drinking age limit…" Kakashi trailed, eyebrows furrowed.

"Tsunade baa-chan says that if I'm old enough to kill someone, I'm old enough to drink sake," his student deadpanned, "and besides, Sakura-chan's only a few months older than me and she's turning into a right drunk already."

"Yes but this is Tsunade-sama…"

"And it's great that you don't want to go on dates. I wouldn't really know what to do with all that dinner-and-chocolates-and-flowers stuff anyway," he went on, "we can just go for ramen. Every day."

Kakashi groaned slightly at that, but there was still too much hesitation in his expression. His hands were starting to match the off-white of the bed sheets.

Naruto leaned closer, placing his hands on his sensei's upper thighs. Kakashi wanted him, it was clear. Somehow, his silly crush was turning into something else. He wanted him in that exhilaratingly sensual way. "And I want other things too."

"You have no idea-"

"I want to try things like the stuff Ero-Sennin writes about," Naruto clarified, "but you'll have to teach me how guys can do it. That's fine, right? You're good at teaching me stuff." He couldn't really think properly. Kakashi's face was so close and there was no mask between them and he really wanted to-

"I'm your sensei," Kakashi said evenly, glancing back at him and then turning to stare at the corner of the ceiling, "we're not supposed to do this."

Naruto leaned back with a disappointed look.

That gray eye turned back to him, "I already confessed to you, didn't I? Not seriously, of course, but just to see. You didn't seem very interested back then."

"You never told me! I would remember something like that!"

"I did. That day you finally completed rasen-shuriken," Kakashi went on, "I told you that I was falling for you."

Naruto paused, and then his eyes widened in realization. He pointed an accusing finger, "that didn't count! You were joking. You have to say it properly!"

Kakashi was torn between smiling and sighing, "it doesn't change the fact that I'm your sensei," he said dryly. Naruto was far too close, and it was almost time when Taji would usually come to take them to dinner. But he wouldn't be coming today, and thankfully he wouldn't see Naruto straddling him…

"I'll take the next chunin exams, and you know I'll pass," his student informed him, "then I'll be a chunin like Sakura-chan, and you won't be my sensei anymore. And there's no official rule for it, anyway, is there?"

"No, but-"

"I don't get it," Naruto leaned forward again, glaring, "are you just going to let me suffer, or something? Because I don't give up. That's my nindo, and it applies to everything.  _Everything_."

Kakashi smiled wryly, "maa, I know exactly how persistent you are…" The hands which had been curled into the sheets rose up to grip his student's knees, unsure of whether to push them away or draw them closer. "But you know, there are other things to consider. Like-"

Naruto leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Kakashi's. Just to shut him up. Stupid sensei and all his stupid excuses.

* * *

 

That evening, Haruno Sakura stood rather awkwardly at the door of the hotel while Kankuro stood in front of her, wearing a plain but elegant blue kimono.

"You look...amazing," he breathed, taking in the green patterned fabric which matched her eyes perfectly, and the pink hair swirled on top of her head in a long pin.

"Er…thanks," Sakura stuttered, stepping out of the building and into the warm Suna breeze, "you look…nice too."

Maybe this would be a good experience. After all, every single date before this had crashed and burned horribly, and experience always made things better. She fell into step beside him as they walked down the sandy streets where people were just beginning to filter into. Sai had left the hotel earlier, and she had no idea where he was. He was probably observing and laughing from somewhere, the emotionless jerk.

"I know some great puppet shows we can visit," Kankuro was saying, "Suna is known for them, where shinobi puppet-users show off the elegance of their performance puppets."

"Are you going to participate too, Kankuro?" She asked, slightly curious. He was one of their best puppet-users, after all. It would be interesting to see his skill.

"No," he turned to smiled at her as they walked, "my puppets are only for battle, while these are made for beauty. You'll see the difference when we get there."

She frowned, "oh. I would have liked to see puppets in battle, actually."

"Oh there are those, too," he nodded, "those are mainly competitions to test the puppet-user's skill. They are given stock puppets, and must control them to fight others. But…they aren't exactly very beautiful."

Sakura frowned again in disappointment. But…watching puppets kill each other would be so fun…no. She had to play along.

Thirty minutes of light chatter later, they reached the large centre square where the main festival was taking place. Sakura's mouth dropped.

It was different than the art show had been. The sky was starting to dim with the very beginnings of an early sunset, but there were lanterns strung all across on intercrossing red threads, replacing the harsh desert sun with warm red light. People went around in crowds, and stalls were set up selling finger-foods and drinks to the Suna citizens passing by.

She looked across in awe, trying to pinpoint the sound of the gentle Suna music wafting through the area, but found that she couldn't. They were expertly positioned; to be heard but not seen.

She and Kankuro weren't the only couple, either. It seemed to be some sort of tradition for Suna boys to ask out their first crushes on this day, and there were many other girls in elaborate dress, smiling and nodding at their beaming new lovers. Here and there, she saw the occasional forehead protector, indicating that maybe the shinobi were given leave on the day just to enjoy themselves. It was…nice.

"Wow…" Sakura stated, looking around.

Kankuro beamed. "I'm so glad you like it, Sakura. Come, on, let's go see the puppet displays. I'm sure you'll find them beautiful." He reached down to take her hand, and pulled her along. His hand wasn't soft like Sai's, or rough like Naruto's. It was firm and…also rather nice, actually.

Sakura found herself being drawn along through the crowd, towards the small stages in the centre. They stopped in front of one, and Kankuro spoke in excited tones as the puppets were led onto stage.

"Those are the creations of Daichi-san," he told her, "he was my shishou for a while once, before he retired. Now he makes puppets for shows like this. It's a treasured art form in Sunagakure." Something hinted to her that Kankuro was picking his words carefully. While he was usually sort of brash and upfront, he sounded almost lyrical. She couldn't help thinking that Ino, with all her romantic experience, would shake her finger and comment on the 'things guys did to impress their dates'.

Her eyes followed to where he was pointing and widened when she saw the wooden structures walking onto the stage. They weren't painted, but the woodwork alone was amazing, like real people with their fluid movement.

"They're…very nice," Sakura said, fingering the fringe of her sleeve and feeling distinctly uncomfortable, "what are they doing?" She watched as one of the male-puppets stood at the edge of the stage with chakra threads in his fingers, and another – a beautiful female-puppet with hair made of silk threads and dressed in elaborate costume – walked by.

"They are telling the love story of the Shodai Kazekage," he explained, "I guess my father's predecessors have all had some interesting relationships. My father himself apparently created a small scandal."

"Really?" Sakura followed him to one of the observer benches and sat down beside him, "what happened?"

Kankuro scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "well, I got all of this from Temari cause I was too young. Apparently our mother was a frail civilian girl who was a lot younger than him. But she was kind, and our father turned really strict when she died. Maybe one day in the far future, they'll tell his story," he winced, "I don't want to be here for that, though. Watching that would be kind of weird."

Sakura smiled, "will your brother continue the pattern?" The show went on before them, and more people were gathering in the benches around them. This Daichi-san was apparently very well known.

Kankuro shuddered and his hand tightened on hers, "for the sake of our country I hope not. He may have a lot of girls mooning after him these days, but Gaara is just  _not_ interested. And that's a good thing. Because any girl who gets too close to my brother is going to have to deal with Karasu."

It was sweet how much he cared for his family. She found a wide smile on her face and wondered how it had gotten there.

"We can go to eat later," Kankuro was saying, "if we eat early it won't be as crowded. And then if you like, we can browse through the stalls." Thoughts of which beautifully decorated hair pins would look best in Sakura's stunning hair color were already running through his mind.

Sakura nodded absently, eyes still fixed on the stage. While the puppets moved in almost dance-like grace, a voice narrated the story behind it. The Shodai Kazekage had been someone from relatively low standing, unlike the Shodai Hokage or Raikage, who were from great clans. But he had fallen in love with the daughter of a nearby daimyo. It was a touching story. The other people on the benches beside them were caught in rapt attention.

Kankuro's hand was still in hers, and he was whispering to her some other facts about the story, ones that he knew only because of his position as council member. They revealed that the story wasn't nearly as picturesque as it looked.

"So she ended up dying of a fever?" Sakura frowned at his commentary, "but the puppet-show says the enemy-nin killed her."

"Yeah, I guess that sounds more romantic," he shrugged, "it's entertainment, not history. People like to see the more dramatic things."

Ten minutes later, the show was finished and the people sitting on the stands were talking in excited tones, getting up for a break before the other plays began. Sakura stood up to stretch out her legs, and looked around at the festival cheer.

"Where are those people going?" She asked, watching a line of shinobi file into one of the stucco buildings nearby.

"Those are the puppet battles," Kankuro explained, "I guess they're very popular this year because the prizes are better."

"Hm?" She turned to raise an eyebrow at him, "what kind of prizes?"

"Money prizes, mostly," he replied, running a hand through his brown hair, "I think this year, first place wins two million ryo, actually."

Sakura froze. Two…million ryo? But…

If she had that much money, they would be able to head back to Konoha in a day. The surprisingly nice ambience of the festival melted away, and she felt a feral grin spread onto her fact as she regarded her date.

"Kankuro?" She asked, "just  _how_ good are you at using those puppets?..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone notice the three-word chapter titles? I like pattern. ouo b.


	12. Still his Sensei

**Chapter 12 – Still his Sensei**

"Your name is Sai, right? What are you doing up here?" Temari approached the lone figure standing at the edge of the building's roof, looking down over the crowds of people attending the festival below.

"Observing," he said, having sensed her presence she moment she'd climbed up there.

"It's much more fun if you're actually attending it," she pointed out, loosening her fan and sitting down to swing her legs over the side of the building. The air was slightly colder up on top of the roof. The view was a lot better too. Kankuro's blue clothing wasn't too hard to spot.

"I don't like crowds," he said, "they are perfect for assassinations" He stood rather uncomfortably beside where she was sitting, wondering why she was there and when she was going to go away.

There was silence as she considered that. Kankuro hadn't known about his conditioning, but Temari was much more knowledgeable about such things. "You're watching them too, right?" She asked, "well you don't need to. Sakura will deal with any danger herself. And besides, no Suna citizen would lead an attack during the festival."

"Then why are you here?" Sai questioned, keeping an eye on where Sakura and Kankuro were seated in the stands far below, watching the puppets dance on stage.

"Because my brother is down there," she muttered, "and he's not supposed to be interested in girls."

Sai frowned, "you wish for him to be interested in those of the same gender, then?"

"No, that's not it!" She sighed, scratching her head as she regarded the two figures, "he's not supposed to be interested in dating at all! I mean, it's not like I want to have any children, so maybe he can marry when he's thirty just so that I can have some kids to spoil…" She trailed. Finally, she turned to give him an apprehensive look, "so why are you observing?"

Sai wondered at how to phrase it, but nothing came up. "I think I'm experiencing the same emotion as you Temari-san, about Sakura-san. Although I don't know how to explain it."

"You want to drag her home and make her swear celibacy?" She asked dryly.

"No," that was definitely not it, "I think it's simply a general feeling of discomfort."

"Yeah, I get you," she grumbled. "Discomfort pretty much sums it up-hey where are they heading? Are those the puppet competitions? Damn Kankuro, he's not supposed to take his date to see fights!" She shook a fist at the figures walking in the festival below, before pausing, "oh, wait, this is good. Maybe she'll break up with him…wait a damn minute, no one breaks up with my brother! I swear if she dares hurt him she will meet her match…"

But Sai was slightly more worried because that was probably exactly the type of thing Sakura-san liked. In some way, Sakura-san's jadedness was comforting, almost reassuring. She was like the cool touch of real-life whenever things became too complicated for him to understand. If she became like most of the others – lost in the emotions that were alien to him – it would only throw him into more confusion.

"What does he see in her, anyway?" Temari huffed, crossing her arms again, "she's not _that_ pretty. I mean, she's smart, but she doesn't act like it. Our father would have never approved of her."

"Well, she did save his life," Sai pointed out, reluctantly moving to the edge to sit down beside the older kunoichi. It seemed that she was not going to leave any time soon, and this building had the best view of the people below.

"Yeah, well so did a lot of other people," she went on, "and you don't see him ordering  _them_ anysakura petals on express delivery."

"Maybe he prefers A-cups." He suggested. Some of his books mentioned that people had certain likings when it came to the opposite gender. Chest size had been the first thing mentioned, along with hair color and build.

Temari turned to stare at him, scandalized. "How…do you know  _that_?"

Sai shrugged, "I noted it when I visited her this morning." Indeed the simple blue bra had possessed a tag on one side indicating its size and the laundry instructions.

He wasn't exactly sure why Temari's mouth dropped open.

* * *

 

Kakashi's lips were warm against his own.

They were slightly dry but so were Naruto's and the abrasiveness felt simply amazing. Naruto couldn't help but lean forward and try to deepen it, to do  _something_ to make the firm hands on his knees pull him closer instead of hesitating so much. He couldn't deny it any longer. He wanted Kakashi to be impossibly close against his body. He wanted to feel Kakashi's hands over him. He wanted Kakashi to open his stupid mouth and kiss him like Jio kissed Miyu.

If kissing Sasuke had been this exhilarating, he would have wondered about his sanity.

"Naruto," Kakashi sat back slightly, parting their lips, "listen, you don't know what-"

"Sure I know!" Naruto exclaimed, "I'm not a kid anymore, sensei. I can decide these things for myself."

"But until you're a chunin, I'm still your sen-"

"I could beat most of the chunin in Konoha!" He declared, "you know that."

There was a long moment of silence, before Kakashi sighed and ran a hand through his grey hair. His eye came back to look at his (former) student, and there was a barely contained  _something_ that thrilled him. "No," he said, "no…you're not a kid. But this doesn't mean we can-"

When warm lips were pressed against his mouth again, he groaned quietly into them, "when I said 'look underneath the underneath', this isn't what I meant…"

"It's all up to the interpretation," Naruto mouth upturned into a small smile when Kakashi's hands let go of his knees and instead came to rest at the back of his neck, slowly angling him – teaching him – so that their mouths fitted together more naturally. He was seconds from finding his own hardness pressed against the jonin's stomach, but that was fine. The thought of Kakashi-sensei  _doing_ something about it lit sparks of excitement in the small room.

When Kakashi's mouth began to open slightly, relenting, Naruto was too drawn in to notice that the outer door of their cell had swung open.

"Oi! There are sexual harassment charges-" The man standing at the door paused, seeing the smaller of the two prisoners on top of the other, "um…who's harassing who?"

It was a new guard; they'd never seen this one before. Kind of young, tall, light-haired, with the look of a complete idiot. At this point, all they cared about was that he didn't react when he saw Kakashi's face. Maybe Taji had been nice enough to find another guard who didn't have…problems.

Naruto wanted to forget about the stupid guard, but Kakashi had drawn away, and his hand was firmly held against Naruto's chest. "No charges are needed. He happened to fall. On me." He was looking pointedly away and his voice held a tinge of exasperation.

His student frowned, but the guard was coming to unlock the inner bars while giving them strange looks, and he recognized the need to slide off Kakashi's form and walk over.

"Hey, why're you here?" He asked, hesitating before stepping outside the cell, "dinner's over, right?"

"Yeah, well we're having a late dinner today," the guard said, "don't ask me, I got no idea. You over there, hurry up. I'm late as it is." He mumbled under his breath about having to walk all the way to the outer cells.

Kakashi stood up stiffly and followed him down the corridor, trying to keep his gaze away from the person walking beside him. Naruto was shooting him curious looks; he could feel them burning into his side.

"Why are we having dinner so late?" The boy demanded.

"Beats me," the guard said, keys clanging in his pocket as he stepped down the empty hall. Their footsteps echoed loudly. To Naruto, Kakashi's silence was somehow louder.

They reached the mess hall a few minutes later, and the guard roughly pushed the door open, indicating for the two prisoners to follow him.

He took two steps in, and suddenly his body was a heap on the floor.

* * *

 

Kankuro was in heaven.

Mostly because Sakura's hand was grasped in his, and her face was flushed with joy, and he  _really_ should've known that a strong kunoichi like her would prefer seeing puppets beaten to death over dancing.

"That was…amazing!" Sakura exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight. To be fair, she wasn't exactly delighted at  _him_ so much as the small box he had been given earlier, and was now clutching in his other hand.

They were still inside the small arena where the competition had taken place, and the second-place-winner's puppet was a heap of wooden splinters in the centre of the stage. Kankuro's puppet was lying nearby, scratched but still in one piece. Around them, the people from the stands were cheering madly.

"Glad you think so," he grinned, reaching up to wipe the sweat off his forehead, "I'm one of Suna's best puppeteers after all". His hands were terribly sweaty from using the chakra threads, but from the way she held on tightly he didn't think she minded.

She was just happy he had given up on that lyrical way of speaking that made her uncomfortable. Now he was just plain Kankuro again, and this was much, much better for her sanity. Sakura took his arm and dragged him out of the building, and back into the slightly colder desert evening. He stumbled after her with the grin still plastered on his face.

"My present to you, Sakura," Kankuro said when they found a small section of free space. He held out the box filled with thousand-ryo notes, "here. You want it to bail your teammates out, right?"

"Yeah," she took the box. Usually there would be formalities. There would be 'oh, you shouldn't have!' and 'aww that's so sweet of you' but right now she was too tired for pleasantries. She tucked it into the sash of her kimono and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek, just like she did for Naruto whenever he was slightly less frustrating than usual.

From the way his face turned beet red, it seemed that he took it for something more. Ah well, she'd just have to clear that up later on. She leaned back and looked out at the rest of the festival, feeling its contagious cheer light up inside her again.

"It's wonderful," she said in earnest, "I'm glad you brought me here, Kankuro. If you ever come by Konoha during Tanabata, I'll show you around." As friends, of course.

He laughed, "when is this festival of yours? I'll be there a month early!"

"Um…that's not needed," she winced, "I'll send you a letter, or something. Now I have to go find Sai and tell Naruto and Kakashi the good news."

He looked slightly disappointed, "you won't stay? The festival goes well into the night, you know," he put an arm around her waist and turned her around, pointing into the centre, "over there, we can get honeyed fruits and candy-"

"Um, I'm on a diet…"

"And that's a drawing stall, where they'll draw you in perfect realism-"

"I have an artist willing to draw me if I refrained from punching him long enough…"

"Oh, well if you don't like that, there's this amazing curry place I know," he beamed, "you people from Konoha usually can't stand spicy things, so they'll make it especially bland for you. But curry is Suna's national food, and we make it better than anywhere else."

Sakura wanted to stay, she really did. Oh, who was she kidding? She wanted to store this evening as a keepsake memory and head off to Konoha. She gave him an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, Kankuro. But this has been an exhausting week, and I'd really just like to get back and rest. Maybe next year?"

His disappointment seemed like it would grow, but it abated instead. He nodded, "well, it was nice spending this time with you." Damn it, there were the lyrical words again, it was in the way he suddenly stiffened, just like Sai did when copying out of his books.

Sakura didn't like the lyrical words. She was perfectly aware that as the Kazekage's son, Kankuro was trained in these things just as Hinata and Neji were, but she wasn't. She'd come from a perfectly average civilian family, and if anyone asked her she was damn proud of it. After all, many people underestimated the strength it took to escape mediocrity.

She slowly stepped away, "yeah…it was nice," she gulped, "I'll…um…see you later?"

Kankuro nodded, "I'll tell Gaara that Naruto and Kakashi-san are to be released. Have a safe trip, Sakura."

Sakura felt the discomfort slowly grow. He was pausing. He was pausing, damn it! Why was he standing there looking at her like that? Did he want?…She gulped.

NO. No way. She didn't care if it was 'traditional' after a date; she was  _not_ doing this. Haruno Sakura had done a lot of things she wasn't entirely sure to count as experience. She had drooled over someone, hugged people a little too tightly, she  _might_ have kissed Lee, and she was pretty sure she'd stuck her hand down Sai's pants. But sake – shochu – had always been involved. It didn't count.

This was something she clung onto with childlike stubbornness. She didn't care if anyone called her a kid for it, because Haruno Sakura's first kiss was going to be with someone she was  _head over heels_  for and she didn't care if that meant she would be single until thirty.

She backed away quickly, not willing to wait until he tried something. With an awkward wave, she turned and rushed away, leaving a rather confused Kankuro behind.

Once in the midst of the crowd, she peered over dozens of heads until she found one of the streets that led into the centre. A map of Suna was already registered in her brain from where she had seen it on the Kazekage's office wall. Once. But Haruno Sakura was genius and no one would say otherwise.

She nudged her way out of the groups of people, sighing when she was finally free of the centre. In front of her was the darkening street that led east, towards the prisons. Travelling fast, it would be a thirty-minute trip.

"Sakura-san!" A voice yelled from behind her. Sakura turned and smiled when she saw Sai making his way out of the crowd. He finally gave up and shunshined in front of her.

"Sakura-san, where are you going?" He asked, adjusting his brown cloak.

She gave him a wide grin, patting the small box under her sash, "to Konoha!"

He frowned, "that's a long way. I would suggest cleaning up and collecting our things, first."

"No," she shook her head, showing him the box, "Kankuro helped me find the funds to bail out Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. We're going home, Sai!" She threw her arms around her teammate in pure joy.

He stood stiffly until she let go, having gotten used to her hugs. Sakura-san could be rather expressive sometimes. "And where are we going…now?" He asked, "the hotel is in the opposite direction."

"To the Suna national correction facility, of course," she clutched his sleeve and dragged him along, even though walking quickly in a kimono took ridiculous amounts of effort, "we have to tell them. Maybe we can stop Naruto from losing his sanity."

"I think that is a lost cause, Sakura-san," Sai replied truthfully, "neither he nor you have ever corresponded to the description of sanity in my books."

Instead of punching him like usual, she burst into tingling laughter while they walked through the dim streets. Sai brightened slightly, fascinated at having made her produce this new emotion. Most of the emotions she revealed around him were listed in his book as 'negative', so this was a pleasant surprise. But at this point she was so ridiculously happy that she'd probably laugh at anything.

"Home," she sighed, "Konoha. With it's nice bathtubs and hair products and  _weather,_ oh the  _weather_ and Sai pass me a kunai I need to cut this stupid thing so that I can walk quickly." She held a hand out.

Sai dutifully reached into his pouch and handed her a blade, looking on curiously as she stopped and bent over.

"It's not like I'll ever wear it again," she decided, holding the edge to the side of her leg and starting to slice at it, "I mean, it's pretty but Ino will end up forcing me to buy another when the next event comes by anyway." She neatly cut a line down the side, from ankle to knee. Then she straightened and looked down at her handiwork, "much better."

Sai took the kunai back, "you should choose that color, though," he advised, "Ino-san is not very good at matching. Purple clashes horribly with her skin."

Sakura grinned and decided that Sai was rising higher and higher on her list of favorite people. She continued down the dim street with a badly concealed skip in her step.

* * *

 

Kakashi and Naruto looked on as over a hundred pairs of eyes watched them with glee. The large mess hall was silent but for the loud, sadistic joy of former shinobi.

Naruto kicked the limp body of the guard in front of him, "um…oji-san? You might want to wake up and threaten them with those 'inner cells' you were talking about. They don't look that nice right now…"

The body didn't move. Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder and drew him back, making to turn and leave before anything started. But when he turned around, another figure was standing in the doorway, smirking.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes, "you…"

"Hey!" Naruto beat him to it, pointing at the man in the doorway, "it's you! You were one of those bastards that tried to kidnap Kakashi-sensei!"

"It's nice to be recognized," Kuroda stated. He stepped into the room and slowly closed the door behind him. The dim lights glinted off his cropped hair, "huh. The resemblance is fascinating." He analyzed Kakashi with an almost critical eye, "facial structure is the same…hair is slightly darker, but still barely noticeable…normal eye is the same color…yeah. That's the son of the White Fang."

The other prisoners that filled the room bristled with anger.

"Gotta thank you for giving us the opportunity," one of the men grunted, "this'll be a real joy."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes, "what are you after?"

Kuroda shrugged, "you killed a whole bunch of my teammates."

"They were plotting against Gaara!" Naruto protested, shaking a fist at him, "they asked for it!"

"Yeah, well, seventy-five million ryo doesn't hurt," he went on, "and I know some people who would pay a fortune for that eye. I noticed it when I let you let me capture you, Hatake-san."

" _Let you…_ you knew that was a clone?" At this point, the skepticism was leaking into Kakashi's voice. There was no way he could have known, and still gone along with it. He'd dealt with this type before, the know it all type.

"Of course," Kuroda said smoothly, running a hand through his cropped hair, "I knew that it would eventually lead into a situation where I could take you without Yora around, because she would probably want fifty percent."

"He's lying," Naruto deadpanned, "he's lying, isn't he, Kakashi-sensei?"

"…yes, yes he is."

Brief anger flashed in Kuroda's eyes, but he quickly calmed himself down and turned to the group of prisoners. "Remember," he informed them, leaning back against the stucco wall, "prisoners are only allowed to break the no-chakra rule if  _attacked by chakra._ "

Kakashi groaned inwardly, turning to his student. "Naruto, leave this to me," he whispered, "I  _can_ take care of this, and I'm not afraid of breaking the rule and resorting to Tsunade-sama's diplomacy." Prison brawls were inevitable, but they were counting on making it escalate. It was probably also why Kuroda was holding back; he would have charges made for attacking an 'unarmed' prisoner.

"Tsunade baa-chan  _has_ no diplomacy," Naruto said loudly, making some of the crowd snort, "I'm staying here with you."

Kakashi sighed, "it's not going to work as smoothly as you think," he said quietly, "between us, I mean."

"And why's that?" His former student asked, ignoring the confused looks of the prisoners.

"For one, I don't like ramen." It was a valid point if there had ever been one, and he watched in satisfaction as Naruto struggled to think of a rebuttal.

"Well, I'll  _make_ you like it," he finally yelled out, "by the time I'm done with you, you'll realize that ramen is the greatest food in existence!"

"Oi! What's this 'ramen' he's talking about?" A prisoner grunted. Naruto turned to look at him, scandalized that  _anyone_ couldn't have heard of  _ramen._ In his mind, Suna was quickly becoming the most backward of places.

"Are we gonna just wait until they finish talking, or something?"

"Nah, they said their final words."

"Hatake Sakumo didn't do nothing to me. I'm in this for the fun. And I call the blond one."

Behind them, Kuroda leaned into the doorframe, watching with an amused smile.

"Yeah? Well you can all try!" Naruto yelled, ducking a punch that came his way. Gang fights were something he could handle. He knew how to fight a gang of people. Sometimes, he  _was_ a gang of people.

* * *

 

Thirty minutes after leaving the festival, the two of them were standing outside the prison building, shivering from the evening cold. Right before they could push the door open, it swung out on its own accord and a familiar form stepped out.

"Taji-san!" Sakura exclaimed, "you're here. This is great!"

The tall guard was giving her a tired look, "you're  _hours_ late, girl.  _Hours._ "

"To be fair, we came just in time to catch you after you said you wouldn't be in," Sai informed him, "but if you are here, you can take us to quickly see Kakashi-san and Naruto. We only need to deliver a message."

"From the Kazekage," Sakura added, knowing that it would add weight to her statement. It was  _technically_ true, at least. Gaara would declare their release in a day once Kankuro told him that they were willing the pay for the rest of their sentence.

Taji paused and leaned back against the wall, and there was a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face. "I…don't think you should go in there," he said, eyes averted.

Sakura frowned, "what do you mean?"

"There's…uh…curfew."

"He's lying." Sai's voice rang out, and it wasn't the usual, light tone he always spoke in. It was the tone of an anbu. He leaned forward, examining the tinges of guilt in the guard's eyes.

Sakura looked from him to Taji in confusion. "Lying? There's no curfew?"

Sai's piercing gaze held the guard still.

"Hey, you two are supposed to be real strong, right?" Taji asked hesitantly, hands in the pockets of his flak jacket, "maybe…jonin-level?"

"Suna-jonin level," Sakura replied hesitantly, still confused as she shivered in the lightly breeze, "what does that have to do with anything?"

"Yeah, I thought so," he mumbled, "stupid Konoha and their high standards. That's probably what got us during that war. We thought we were sending jonin to fight jonin, but we sure as hell weren't."

Now she was starting to feel the ominous tinge that Sai had already observed. Her look turned cold as she regarded the taller man.

"Get out of here," he muttered, "even if you are, I wouldn't risk it. You've got nothing to do with it, so stay out."

"Where are Naruto and Kakashi-san?" Sai asked. His voice was steady as calm as always, but somehow that made it frightening.

"Mess hall." He stated plainly.

Sai frowned, "he's not lying."

But Sakura had already picked up on it, and she walked forwards with a murderous look, "what's happened to them?"

Taji coughed, "listen, I don't want to hurt him. He's a friend, you know? He's a good guy, it's just that he's a little-"

"Just tell us."

"Well," he coughed again, "Kuroda wants his bounty. The others…well, I  _think_  they just want his head."

* * *

 

Kakashi moved quickly, Sharingan eye flashing as he delivered a sharp kick to another man's stomach and sending him crashing into three others. By themselves, the prisoners wouldn't be too bad. But there were  _masses_ of them, and that posed a problem. If they all started using chakra…

"Don't do it," he warned, seeing Naruto's fingers itch to come together into the clone seal, "a riot like this will be spotted eventually, all we need to do is last."

"Yeah? Well we'll get you before anyone arrives!" Another man swung at his head, and Kakashi bent over, allowing the hand to pass harmlessly over his head before swinging back with his fist. The Sharingan was useful in these situations; he was able to carefully judge every movement, ever twitch of muscle.

Just as his fist carefully cut into another prisoner's leg, a large creak reverberated through the room, jostling the prisoners off their feet. Kakashi turned quickly to see Naruto lose his stance, and within moments he was right next to him, dragging Naruto back with one arm around his side.

"Oi!" Naruto yelled, straightening himself and looking around, "what was that?"

"Hey, are the guards back?" A man nearby said worriedly, looking to the wall that the creak had come from. Everyone in the room watched as the cracks in the structure began to spread, running up to merge into the barred windows of the mess hall. Their mouths dropped when the entire wall started to crumble.

Kakashi looked back just in time to see Kuroda's narrowed eyebrows, and the way he was now running towards them. So this wasn't part of his plan…when the realization hit, his lips turned up into a small smile and he grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged him out of the way.

"Wha-" Naruto stumbled after him as he went for the crumbling wall, "hey! That's gonna collapse, we need to get away!" He watched in confusion as Kakashi ran for the wall, which was starting to let hints of evening light pass through its giant missing pieces. His eyebrows disappeared under his yellow hairline when the entire wall was down, and two figures were revealed to be standing outside.

One of the figures had her arm extended, and hand fisted. Without her gloves her knuckles were chafed, but the relieved look on her face indicated that she didn't care.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, "nice kimono!"

Kakashi sighed, "is  _that_ the first thing you notice?"

"I'm glad that you like my selection, dickless," Sai said cheerfully.

" _What_  is going on?" One of the prisoners behind them shouted, "Who're they?"

Kuroda had stepped forward with a look of minor annoyance. He raised his arm, pointing at the four members of Team Kakashi, "take the two," he told the men, "leave the new ones to me. I like that girl, she's a strong one."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, sorting through her memories of arrogant jerks and trying to find a match. Finally giving up, she turned to Naruto and Kakashi. "So, Kakashi-sensei. He's a jonin right? So if I take care of this guy, you'll put me up for promotion?"

"Your promotion is safe in my hands," her sensei nodded.

"Oi! Wait for me, Sakura-chan! I'm not even a chunin yet!" Naruto yelled as Kakashi dragged him out of the pile of rubble that was the prison wall.

They stumbled out of the prison building and into the barren desert outside, which revealed one lone trail leading to the main village. In the dim light, they could barely make out buildings in the distance. Kakashi frowned as he shot a glance backward to see Kuroda standing there with his arms crossed, facing an angry Sakura. He looked…too calm. Far too calm for someone who's targets were escaping. He itched to summon Pakkun and check the area, but something told him things would go more smoothly if they refrained from breaking the no-chakra rule at all times.

"Where are we going, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto whispered, looking at him quizzically, "don't we have to get back to our cell, or something?" He shivered in the thin cloth of the prison uniform.

"Of course not, this is a legitimate reason to leave," Kakashi told him, "we'll go to Gaara and tell him what happened."

"Oh ok," the smile was back, "that's good. I wouldn't let that guy take your head anyway. I kind of need it, now."

Kakashi sighed, "I'd forgotten exactly how persistent you could be."

"Uh huh," Naruto reached out to grab Kakashi by the front of his shirt and tugged him closer, squinting slightly in the dim light. He stayed there for a while, taking in Hatake Kakashi's revealed face as the resigned look that was finally on it. Resigned was good. Resigned meant he could push forward like he always did, and he'd eventually get what he wanted. "Hey, if we're like this then I don't need to call you 'sensei' anymore, right?"

The jonin reached out to slip a hand onto Naruto's waist, drawing him slightly closer, although his grip was still hesitant, as if he was asking himself what in the Five Countries he was doing. "I'd still prefer 'Kakashi-sensei."

"Hmph. Pervert," Naruto wrinkled his nose, "let me guess, that was in Icha Icha too?"

"First book. Jio had a young student to whom he taught calligraphy. He eventually taught her lots of things."

Naruto gave him a dry look.

"Well if you don't like that, 'Kakashi-dono' is fine too…"

"Fine. Sensei it is," he didn't really care so much about that anyway. His priorities were in enjoying the hesitant touch of Kakashi's hand at the back of his neck, and leaning forward to-

"Oh, wow. Didn't expect that."

Both Konoha nin turned sharply at the noise. A Suna kunoichi in a brown cloak was just stepping out from behind the side of the building. She pulled down her hood, revealing an amused grin. Kakashi's eyes narrowed.

"Don't let me stop you," she said, waving a hand, "go on, I'll wait."

He stepped away from Naruto, and automatically looked for escape routes. But apart from the prison building itself, the area was clear.

"Oi!" Naruto pointed, "your that  _other_ shinobi who tried to kidnap Kakashi-sensei! Your stupid jutsu got us in here!"

Kakashi groaned silently.


	13. Just like Miyu

**Chapter 13 – Just like Miyu**

Back in the Kazekage's office, Temari had both hands slammed onto the desk and was giving Gaara a firm look.

"We can't let her date him," she said strictly, "we have to break this off before he figures out that she shares."

Gaara looked at her in confusion. She'd come running into his office at ten, which wasn't exactly a bad thing, except she was usually sleeping at this hour. And she wasn't even in her nightgown. That indicated that she had probably come from the festival…

"Are you even listening?" She asked, "Kankuro is in trouble here!"

"So you are saying," Gaara began, "that Sakura has done relationship-like things with her teammate."

"Yes!"

"And how do you know this?"

"Because he's seen her chest size, and you can probably figure the rest out on your own!"

"No," Gaara said truthfully, "no I can't. What if she simply told him?" He wasn't sure why Temari was throwing such a fuss, and there were treaties with River Country to be read over and signed. He though he'd done his part as a brother when he'd finished sprinkling sakura petals. And now she was suggesting they ruin all their hard work?

"He said he  _noted_ it," Temari stressed, "and her vest is pretty loose. Even I couldn't tell," she paused, "I mean, I'd expected her to be at  _least_ a B-cup under there, actually."

Gaara, who had no interest at all in the things unique to the female form, kept on staring. "And you don't think it wise that she continue with Kankuro, because?..."

Temari gave him an incredulous look, "because Kankuro has no idea what he's getting into! You've seen him, he's a soppy, traditional romantic when he tries! He's going to be heartbroken if he finds out that his crush is already involved. Annoying kid as he is, I'm his sister and I won't stand by!"

"So you are saying that she will hurt Kankuro," he tried, "and as such, we should drag Kankuro away before she has the chance to. But dragging him away will, naturally, hurt him. You are not making any sense, Temari." Which was strange, because Temari was usually a very sensible jonin. Definitely more sensible than Kankuro. Her only weakness, in fact, was her obsession with that Konoha jonin Shikamaru. But his councilors had assured him that it was normal.

She looked like she wanted to break something. Or lots of things. Instead, she slowly counted down from ten in her head. "Gaara," she began, "how would you feel if Matsuri found another sensei, and didn't want to train under you anymore?"

"Relieved, actually," he replied evenly, "she deserves someone who can spend more time training her, and I am too often distracted by my duties as Kazekage."

Temari sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "fine. You don't get it. I'll have to take care of this myself. I'm going to see Sakura." She picked up her fan and slung it onto her back, looking more like she was going to  _kill_ Sakura.

Gaara frowned, "I would wait until morning. She is probably asleep right now."

"No, she's headed to the prisons," Temari said, "I talked to Kankuro on the way back, and he said he won the prize for the puppet competitions for her, so that she could free her teammates. He went to his room, and I said I'd come tell you that they have enough bail money to be freed tomorrow." Without looking to see Gaara's response, she turned and left.

Haruno Sakura was going to regret the day she'd agreed to date Temari's brother.

* * *

 

"Hey, you're going to stop?" The kunoichi, Yora, seemed disappointed, "maybe I shouldn't have stepped out so quickly. That could have been interesting."

Kakashi slowly took a defensive stance. "Calm down, Naruto," that seemed to be turning into his catchphrase these days. "We don't want to anger her."

But his spirited student wasn't someone easily subdued. He glared at the woman with barely concealed anger and one finger still pointed. "It's all your fault that we're like this-" Naruto suddenly stopped speaking, and turned to look interestedly at Kakashi. Thoughts of Kakashi's warm lips on his were suddenly floating in his head. He turned back to Yora with a sheepish look, "hey … uh … thanks. A lot. Really."

She looked utterly confused. "For what?"

"Well, if we hadn't been in a cell together he would've run, or something. And that would've made everything a lot more difficult."

Kakashi gave an exaggerated sigh and rubbed at his face with one hand.

"So," Yora began, deciding to ignore the confusing blond kid, "are you guys gonna put up a fight, or what?" She put her hands together into a seal.

Kakashi looked around, observing the area with keen eyes. The side of the prison building was flat behind them, and the corner was beyond where their opponent stood. Other than that, the desert was flat and plain, without a single structure to hide behind. The only way to run was down the trail, towards the village, but it was in plain sight…

"Move quickly, Naruto," he whispered. "And try not to use chakra until Sakura and Sai can come back out here."

Naruto nodded, eyeing the hand seals that the dark-haired kunoichi was making in rapid succession. He vaguely recognized that same jutsu from before…

"Doton: Doryuuheki!"

It was that troublesome jutsu again, the one that surrounded them back in the teahouse. He groaned inwardly and threw himself out of the way as pieces of rock began to emerge from the ground, making their way up around him. The first walls threatened to bury him but he stumbled out just in time, looking back to see them crash into each other behind him. He turned just in time to avoid being hit by another rock spike. This would be so  _easy_ if he could only make a few clones…

At this point, he was beginning to grow quite a lot of respect for Lee.

Naruto landed roughly on the ground, barely managing to keep his elbows from being scraped. He looked back to see Kakashi standing on top of the rock structure, having leapt up instead of to the side. Smart. He had a long way to go before he reached Kakashi-sensei's quick thinking in battle.

"Wow," the kunoichi was saying, smirking at Kakashi, "you may look like your father, but I don't remember him being nearly as good-looking. Mask is kinda necessary, huh?"

"That man isn't planning on sharing the bounty with you," the jonin replied stiffly, leaping easily to the ground in front of her while Naruto looked on from nearby, "I hope you know that."

"He won't be able to make that decision," she said smoothly, "I can fight him for it."

"He probably won't come out, since our teammate is in there with him," Kakashi said, exasperated. He eyed her hands, which were making rapid signs again. Recalling the technique as one he had once copied, he immediately leapt back, standing near Naruto.

"Good. Then I can take the most of it," she grinned as large spikes of rock began to jut out from the ground, heading in a straight line towards the two Konoha nin, "your head would look even nicer on a bounty centre conveyor belt!"

Naruto threw himself out of the way again, ending up on the ground nearby with a mouth full of sand. He spat it out and sat up, but just as he looked up there was another spike of rock coming towards him.

One second he was looking directly at it, and the next his face was pressed into Kakashi's back. Naruto blinked a few times, and the pushed himself up, realizing that he was somehow thrown over Kakashi's shoulder. How had that?...

"Pay attention, Naruto," his sensei said sharply, "you must be really out of it today." Naruto felt himself being swung off his shoulder and back onto solid ground, where he stumbled slightly before getting a hold of himself.

Well of  _course_ he was out of it! He'd just gotten to taste Hatake Kakashi's lips and he wanted more and  _stupid stupid_ life was getting in the way, damn it! Why couldn't everyone just stay out of the way until he  _wasn't_ half-hard and tormented with pervy thoughts?

"I haven't fought against ninjutsu in over a week!" He yelled into Kakashi's ear as he was pulled away from another rock, "and after that fight in there, all my muscles are sore and I don't know why!"

"Well, I suppose two weeks without fighting  _would_ be quite new to you and your muscles," the jonin muttered. His grip on Naruto's arm was like iron, "just leave her to me, I can take her down with taijutsu. Stay here and try not to get-"

Before he could finish the sentence, they both felt a rumble directly beneath them. They looked down at the same time, and then realized a little too late that it was a mistake. The rock jutted out with frightening speed, and managed to catch Naruto under the chin, making him see stars for a brief second.

Kakashi was somewhere to his right, and his ferocious grip on his arm wasn't loosening. Wasn't he supposed to go fight? What was he doing sitting there?...Naruto slowly opened his eyes and winced at the slightly pain in his jaw. He promptly closed his eyes again, deciding that the inside of his eyelids made for much better viewing than the dozens of rocks that were…flying overhead?

At that moment, he brought his hand up, shielding his face as a powerful gust of wind crashed into them and lifted them off their feet. Naruto felt another form quickly place itself behind him as they crashed into the wall of the prison.

"Naruto, get up. We have to run."

Run? Run where? Naruto managed to slowly open his eyes, realizing that the pain was slowly melting away. Huh. Kyuubi was good for something after all.

The first thing he saw was a silhouetted figure standing at the start of the long, plain trail that led to the village. He waited for his eyes to adjust, and then burst into a smile, feeling all the pain dissipate. From where he was positioned between Naruto and the wall, Kakashi sighed.

"Temari!" Naruto exclaimed, feeling new energy run through him as he stood up.

Temari came closer, her fan outstretched to reveal one purple dot. She glanced between them and the other Suna kunoichi, and her eyebrows raised in recognition. "Hey!" She pointed, "I know you. You're one of the traitors!"

At this point, Yora was looking slightly worried. But she hid the expression with a shrug. "And you're Temari of the Kazekage's council."

Temari narrowed her eyes and ran over to stand in front of Naruto and Kakashi, "what exactly happened?" She growled.

"They attacked us," Kakashi reported, "she's one of them. The other is back in there, Sakura came in time to distract him so that we could leave."

"And where are you two planning on going?" She asked, glancing at the through the corner of her eye.

"Back to the village," he told her, "don't worry about us, we haven't broken the prison rules yet.

Temari's grin was feral, "fine, leave her to me. I'm pretty much ready for murder anyway," she seethed, "a change of target shouldn't hurt too much."

Yora stepped away slightly at her words, "er…" she looked back at the prison worriedly. "It's fine. I didn't need that bounty money anyway. I'll just be going now."

"Get back here, traitor!" Her fan was raised, and Naruto took the time to grab his sensei's hand and run for the trail, stepping around the upturned rocks in their way. He would've felt bad for leaving Temari there by herself … except …

They heard crashing sounds behind them, and began to feel vaguely sorry for poor Yora instead.

* * *

 

"Are you  _sure_ you don't recognize me?" Kuroda asked for the hundredth time, after dodging another punch.

Sakura leapt back and kept her hand fisted, glaring at him and resorting through her memories. So far, nothing had come up. But she'd met a good dozen bastards in her day, and was expecting to recognize this one soon.

Beside her, Sai was looking over the crowd of prisoners backing away from his Choujuu Giga ink animals. He turned to give Sakura a worried look, "Sakura-san, I remember him, I could just tell y-"

"Shh, Sai," She instructed, waving a hand at him, "I'll figure this out. I  _never_ forget a face. Never." She turned back to squint at Kuroda, her face scrunching up comically.

"Oi! He asked us!" One of the prisoners yelled, stepping back from a growing ink lion, "Kuroda planned it, I swear!"

"That's not my problem," Sai gave him a bland smile, "please remain away from my animals. They bite, sometimes. Most times." He released another lion from his scroll with a sign of his hands, watching as it went to stand by the prisoners like a dog herding sheep.

Kuroda was giving Sakura an amused look, "you really  _don't remember me_? I'm hurt, because I remember you real well. I even recall the color of your bra that day. It was marine blue, wasn't it?"

"I believe it was more of a sky blue," Sai corrected helpfully.

 _Huh?_ Inner Sakura yelled.  _Since when do this many people know the color of our bras?_ Sakura reddened, and then groaned as the realization hit. She stood among the uneven floor that had been upturned in her punches, smacking herself on the head, "I was drunk, wasn't I?" She wailed, "wasn't I? Sai, what exactly did I do with this person?" She pointed a crude finger at Kuroda.

"Oh, I believe you met his challenge that day in the gambling house," Sai said pensively, stroking his chin, "although I now see that he must have used chakra to cheat when he turned you. The others there seemed to be rather excited after seeing that. He even offered sixty-thousand ryo for your successful performance. But you failed."

At this point, Sakura wanted to forget about the stupid fight and sink into the floor.  _What_ was Sai saying?

Kuroda seemed to have caught on to Sai's unknowing innuendo, "yeah," he boasted, "you were great. Real strong. It was over kind of quickly, though."

She could have been a statue, with the amount of stillness she exhibited. Some of the other prisoners were whistling even as they kept their distance from Sai's animals.

"Indeed, that was one of the fastest arm-wrestling matches I'd ever witnessed," Sai agreed, "but don't worry, Sakura-san, you could have beaten him easily in sober state."

"Sai!" Sakura exclaimed, torn between hugging him in relief and hitting him for making everything sound so weird, "say things properly!"

Kuroda shrugged, "ah well, that was fun while it lasted," he smirked, "and if you want to know, you also gave away your teammates location. When I heard the rumors of Hatake Sakumo, well, it was fairly easy to get you to spit it out."

The crowd of prisoners was looking on curiously as Haruno Sakura's face turned red, and this time it wasn't from embarrassment. Kuroda's smile only became wider.

"Betrayed a teammate pretty quickly there, eh?"

"Shut up." Not a good day. Not a good week. Not a good decade.

"Then again, you're pretty different with five cups of shochu down.

"Shut up."

"Are you  _really_ legal? You look thirteen."

"SHANNARO!"

* * *

 

It took them thirty minutes to run at full speed down the trail and into the village under the dark Suna sky. The desert night chilled them to their bones and Naruto's previous  _problem_ wasn't such a problem anymore.

Now he had an idea why they'd taken away their underwear.

He shivered and followed Kakashi's shadowy form as they ran down the streets with darkened shop windows on either side. They'd long gone past the prison and were well into the village, but they ran anyway because it kept them from freezing solid in their thin prison clothes. The kazekage's building was just beginning to appear in the distance, a circular stucco structure that was mostly dark. One light, however, was still shining. Gaara never needed to sleep, after all. Naruto paused in confusion when Kakashi made to enter a side alley instead of continuing forward.

"Wait, Kakashi-sensei! Aren't we going to go tell Gaara?"

He shook his head. "It's too far and it's getting darker, we'll catch hypothermia before we get there. Sakura and Sai and Temari probably have things under control by now," he ran down the alley.

Well, that was a good assumption. Those rebel jonin were only chunin level by Konoha's standards, while Temari was a true jonin. Sakura and Sai would probably manage. Naruto followed him, seeing little puffs of frost in front of his face with every breath.

"Where are we going, then?" His unused legs were beginning to grow tired from running. Kakashi was headed for a tourist district with hotels, but they had no money to rent a room. Money had never been so large a problem in Naruto's life before.

"Sakura's hotel room. I know the room number. We can get in through the window."

The alley ended in the backyard of a wide building with various windows scattered across the back, and Naruto vaguely recognized the hotel that they'd once stayed in for vacation. It seemed Sakura had really taken advantage of Suna's willingness to pay for her mission expenses, because this was just pure luxury. It looked amazing after the week in a cramped prison cell.

They climbed up the back wall by hand, using whatever footholds they could find in the crumbly stucco. Since it was dark, the guests were all asleep and no one spotted the two Konoha nin silently creeping up on the outside of their windows. Finally, Kakashi spotted Sakura's room, and deftly unlocked the window using a  _little_ bit of force that  _might_ have ruined the window's lock system. Well, no one would know. The room would just be a little less safe than the others from then on.

He swung his legs inside and offered a hand to Naruto, who used it to pull himself up into the place. It was dark inside, but their eyes were accustomed to seeing things clearly in the dim moonlight.

"Sit by the bed, I need to have a look at that injury," Kakashi instructed once he was inside. Naruto nodded and sat down in the stream of moonlight coming in through the window, lifting his head to display the underside of his chin.

"It's probably gone now," he said. "Kyuubi takes care of this stuff." He'd long stopped feeling the pain from the rock spike. But he felt tentative fingers on his jaw, and resisted the urge to look down at his sensei's face. He wanted to, though. Kakashi-sensei always had this crinkle in his brow whenever he was examining something that seriously. He had an interesting face.

"You're right," Kakashi moved his fingers over the area, "I'm no medic, but it looks like all the bruising is gone. In less than thirty minutes. Impressive."

"Well I'd take the credit for it, but I don't think I can," Naruto scoffed. The hands left his jaw and he looked straight at Kakashi's moonlit face. Without knowing exactly what he was doing, he reached out to run a finger over the scar that fell across his sensei's eye. It was no longer raised, but it contrasted roughly with the smooth skin that had been covered for over twenty years.

Kakashi stayed still, kneeling by the bed and patiently enduring the exploring fingers over his face. His expression was unreadable.

"Are you still going to be stubborn, sensei?"

"Maa, that's my line."

"I'm not stubborn! I just don't give up. That's my Nindo, remember?"

Kakashi's chuckles were deep and throaty, and Naruto swallowed the brilliant sound when he leaned forward to press their mouths together. He still kept getting the wrong angle, but he didn't really care, because Kakashi reached up to lay a hand on the back of his neck and gently tilted his head until they fit together perfectly.

With a small moan, he parted his lips slowly into the kiss and dared to run the tip of his tongue across Kakashi's bottom lip, something he'd once seen at a rather shady place he'd been sent to on a recon mission. The next second, Kakashi's tongue was sliding against his in ways that made his body forget about the cold and he was already throbbing.

The second after that, Kakashi was drawing away, giving him that typically amused look. "Maa, I think I'm going to use the shower. There is sand in strange places." The faint light illuminated only half his face, and fell over the closed eyelid of his Sharingan.

Naruto wrinkled his nose, "ew, sensei, I didn't need to know that. Go take your shower." It was said playfully, but he mourned the lost moment that had seemed so promising. He watched the other man stand up and saunter over to the small bathroom door, disappearing within it.

How long would Kakashi-sensei take to shower? Fast enough to help him deal with his hardness when he got out?

A few seconds later, the muffled sound of running water filled the room. Naruto stood up and looked down at himself, noting for the first time that he was just as scuffed. The prison uniform grey was covered with patches of thinner cloth where he'd skidded. He looked around the dim room, and his eyes settled on a heap of white, fluffy cloth pooled onto the dresser. He walked over to hold it up.

Hotel-issued pajamas. They were white and fluffy and looked like they were made of clouds. So this was what Sakura-chan and Sai were wearing while they suffered in their prison clothes. He gave it a contemplative look.

Sakura-chan wouldn't mind.

* * *

 

Back in the prison mess hall, Sakura had one foot firmly positioned over Kuroda's neck. She grinned a feral grin.

"Help!" Kuroda shouted, the sound muffled by the foot on his windpipe. "She's crazy! One of you bastards, get over here!" All pretense of calmness was gone when he looked up at her expression.

The crowd of prisoners watched nervously, none willingly to brave the circling ink lions to leap to his rescue. Especially not after being referred to as bastards. They looked on at the pink-haired demon who'd upturned almost every square meter of ground with her punches.

"That," Sakura stated. "Was fun. Right, Sai?"

"I suppose this may resemble entertainment to some, yes." Sai smiled blandly. Some of the prisoners backed away further at the complete lack of emotion in that smile. The pale boy was just as scary.

With that, she reached down and pushed three fingers into Kuroda's neck, watching as he went limp under her foot. Then she straightened and patted off her kimono, which was beyond repair at this point. "We should go find them. Knowing Kakashi-sensei, he's probably gone to my hotel room."

"Not yet, you don't."

They both turned suddenly at the new voice, and then relaxed as a familiar figure materialized in the large section of the wall that had been taken down. Temari stalked towards them, carrying a prone figure in brown robes over one shoulder.

"Temari," Sakura greeted cheerfully, not noticing the killing intent that hung in the air.

"Temari-san," Sai inclined his head. He shot a look at Yora's unconscious form, which she dumped gracelessly onto the floor. "I see you've aided us in taking out those who wished to harm our teammates."

"Ch," Sakura scoffed, "our teammates were in no harm. They could've dealt with these guys in a minute if a certain  _someone_ knew how to spend money on other things apart from sake and gambling."

"Haruno Sakura," Temari hissed, pointing a finger crudely. "I didn't come to rescue your teammates. That was just a little warm-up. I came to deal with  _you_."

At this, some of the crowd looked on appreciatively, wondering if the new arrival would save them. When she took out her fan, cementing her identity as the Temari of the Council, their hopes dropped.

Sakura back away, raising a hand to protect herself, "um…Temari…"

"How interesting," Sai observed, stroking his chin. "I believe this is known as killing intent. I've never seen it on an ally before. Is Temari-san our enemy?"

She slipped her finger's around Sai's arm, drawing him back slowly. "Um … no. She's … not an enemy. She's a friend. Sometimes, we run away from friends too. Especially when we don't know why they're trying to kill us."

"You know exactly why, Haruno Sakura!" The fan went up, "I won't let my brother be corrupted!"

Now she knew what it was about. Sakura gulped, remembering how she had practically  _used_ Kankuro for his … skills. And now his sister was there to take revenge. Great. She gripped Sai's arm harder.

"I'm tired, I can't fight her, and she doesn't look like she's in the mood to talk," she whispered hurriedly, "get one of your ink bird things and let's get out of here."

Sai nodded, and one of the birds circling the group of prisoners came down before them. He quickly pulled her on, and pushed off, and they managed to somehow ride the furious wave of wind that the Kazekage's sister sent their way.

* * *

 

The fluffy white pajamas were heavenly against his skin, like clothing made of cotton balls. Naruto's prison uniform was discarded over the dresser and he spread out over the bed, reveling in the pure softness of it all. It was still a little chilly, but the room was much warmer than the cold outside.

He looked up at the dark ceiling. Kakashi-sensei still had some reservations. That would have to be taken care of. Now that he knew that he had the same kinds of thoughts…

The shower was still going on full, and he was impatient and pushing up against the cloth of the soft pants. And all he could think about was Kakashi and the water that was currently running over his form … without thinking twice, he slipped his hand into the waistband of his pants and gripped himself, stroking roughly.

When exactly had the pervy-thoughts started? Probably not in the prison. It was just escalated once he saw Kakashi's face. Had it been before that?

Naruto moaned slightly, and leaned forward, off the side of the bed while his hand continued. He was facing away from the door to the bathroom, and didn't notice when the water stopped.

Back when they were first made genin? No, that couldn't be it. He'd barely spoken three words a day to Kakashi back then; he'd been too distracted by Sasuke. It was sometimes after he'd come back from training. Sometime in between, the slightly weird feelings had sprung up whenever he'd been around Kakashi…

"Maa, you keep forgetting about my sense of smell."

In the midst of pleasure, Naruto didn't notice the presence behind him. He turned quickly, one hand still around the base of his hardened length. His breathing was heavy, but when he turned around, his eyes swept appreciatively over Kakashi's dripping wet form. The droplets of water leaked onto the bed, staining the sheets, and the warmth of the shower water was slowly dispersing into the room. He wore nothing but a small towel wrapped around his waist.

"Maybe I forgot on purpose," Naruto said cheekily, shifting over in the bed so that he was closer. "We keep getting interrupted, Kakashi." He thought of trying the name out, seeing if it would be natural on his tongue.

"It's still 'Kakashi-sensei', Naruto. Until you pass the exam. Preferably after, too, though."

"Hmph. Pervert."

But their lips met anyway, and it heated the room up even further. He couldn't see very well in the dark, but Naruto could still make out Kakashi's firm chest, and couldn't help running his hands over him. Touching what he'd admired back when he'd stiffly remained in denial.

"What do  _I_  have to do to get like this?"

Kakashi chuckled slightly into his mouth and drew back to answer, "there are some benefits to being Gai's Eternal Rival. Being forced to train whether I want to or not seems to be one of them."

"Will Gai-sensei agree to be my rival too?"

"You could try Lee. He'd be more than willing."

Naruto paused, "but then Sasuke will be jealous when we drag him back."

He caught his sensei's slight laughter again. Suddenly, Kakashi turned him around, parting the kiss. Naruto moaned in protest, and then promptly stopped when he felt warm lips on the side of his neck and a firm chest pressed against his back. He grinned when he felt the hardness through the towel, pressing into the back of his leg. That was good; there was something he wanted to try later on.

"Sensei, I'll be coming to visit Mr Ukki at your apartment when we get back, ok?"

Kakashi smiled as he remembered the plant his genin had gotten him for a previous birthday, the one that sat next to their team picture on his windowsill. So that was going to be Naruto's excuse. "Do you even know where my apartment is?" His fingers easily slipped through every button of the white pajama shirt, pushing it out of the way until there was nothing between them aside from the towel.

"Yeah. Sakura and I tried to find you once when you were really late. We got Kurenai-sensei to tell us where you lived. But you were already gone by the time we got there. I'll be there every evening, though. You better have instant ramen at your place."

"Such stamina …" He continued the trail of kisses up the side of his neck, one hand holding his student against him. Without warning, the other hand went to continue where Naruto's hand had left off, exploring the blond curls before settling firmly around his dripping cock.

"Ah, sensei!"

Naruto pushed into the hand, head tilted upwards in pleasure as it started to stroke down his length. He moaned with every thrust, at the long, slightly calloused hand that treated him so skillfully.

"I … saw you," he gasped, "that day in the … shower. That's what I meant by … my hearing."

"Yes, I can guess that now," Kakashi murmured into his neck. "But I tend to be … distracted."

His fingertips ran over the head of Naruto's cock, brushing across the wetness and spreading it down. Naruto bit his lip as the slicking sound became embarrassingly loud in the quiet room. The slicking sound that Kakashi was making with his …

"Go faster, damn it!" He was at his edge, and needed his release  _now._

"Patience…"

Naruto instinctively pushed back against the hardness behind him, and smiled victoriously as Kakashi's hand jerked around his cock with his moan, creating exhilarating friction. He pushed back again and shifted, feeling the other man's erection against the small of his back. The hand around him paused, unable to focus on both. Underneath them, the wet sheets were starting to crumple.

"Don't you want me to finish you off?" Kakashi said. His tone was low and husky against Naruto's ear, and Naruto nodded vigorously.

It barely took another minute for him to come, spilling over the hand and over his pants, which were gathered around the top of his legs. He sagged back, looking down as Kakashi's fingers swept curiously at his tip, gathering the wetness and making him shudder in one last bout of pleasure.

Then he looked mournfully at the white pants. They were stained with his release. "I think I've ruined Sakura's pajamas…"

Kakashi chuckled, "it's standard-issue. They'll bring her another set." He drew back, but paused as Naruto turned to face him, pushing at his chest. "Hmm?"

"Lean back a little. I want to try something," Naruto instructed. Hopefully this would go well. He'd wanted to do it ever since that day in the shower. In one quick move, he reached down and pushed the towel out of the way, revealing the other man's throbbing hardness.

"Naruto- Hn!" Kakashi held back a gasp when a blond head was suddenly leaning down between his legs. "Are you sure you want to do tha-"

Before he could speak, Naruto's hand was around him, jerking experimentally while his mouth lingered nearby. The moonlight was still faint, but he unashamedly examined the outline of Kakashi's cock, which was – not surprisingly – almost as large as Shino's. His hand ambled languidly around the base while he looked at the droplet of wetness.

"I've never done this before, so you'll teach me, right sensei? Like Miyu in Icha Icha?"

Kakashi almost shivered at his unknowingly erotic words. He watched as Naruto's tongue darted out to lick at his tip, and then smoothed over his length. It was the perfect mixture of roughness and wetness and the fact that it was  _Naruto_ there seemed to make it twice as pleasurable.

"Like this?" He asked, lips moving against his base.

"Sure." Kakashi wasn't certain if he could say anymore in a straight voice.

Naruto grinned, and took him into his mouth, moving slowly at first. He tasted like the warm Suna water that had been pouring over him minutes ago, with an underlying musk. The hand that wasn't propping him up on the bed reached out to stroke where his lips couldn't reach, and went even lower, cupping him. Kakashi let out a quiet groan, and one hand tangled itself within his hair.

He moved faster, and made sure to do it just as loudly as Kakashi had done with his hand, just to embarrass him. His sensei was a really quiet person most of the time, but the sounds he could make with other places than his mouth were even more interesting. He could tell that Kakashi was trying hard not to push himself upwards into his mouth. Well, that was good. He was kind of big, and Naruto wasn't sure he could stop himself from choking.

"Hn … Naruto … you can … use your hand," Kakashi saw, his tone low and unbearably husky. He was on his edge.

Naruto understood. He let go with his mouth, smiling at the slick suctioning sound that echoed through the room. But instead of drawing his head back, he leaned to the side and licked down his length while he stroked with his hand. The sounds he made were just as loud, stroking up and down and licking on the other side.

In fact, he did it so loudly that he didn't hear the footsteps down the hall.

* * *

 

The view from the ink bird was really nice. It was really far down, though.  _Really_ far down.

That was all Sakura could think of while they flew above the village of Sunagakure. Her arms were probably circling Sai tightly enough to constrict his breathing, but she was slightly new to this and he could sense her apprehension.

"We'll be back at the hotel in a few minutes," Sai told her. "Is Sakura-san trying to cut me in half?" He shifted uncomfortably.

"Um … sorry," Sakura stuttered, loosening her grip slightly. She tried not to look down at the pale structures below that reminded her how far up they were. Below her legs, the wings of the ink bird were wide in span and flapped languidly through the cool air. Her teeth clattered in the cold wind.

"Why was Temari-san angry with us?"

She sighed. "Because I dated her brother without liking him that way. I think. Probably."

Sai turned back to give her a curious look. "So you hold no romantic feelings towards Kankuro-san?"

Sakura shook her head and sat back a little, giving him room to turn to face her. "I hold no romantic feelings towards anyone else, Sai."

He frowned slightly, as if trying to decipher her words. "Except for Sasuke-kun?"

"Yeah, except him," she looked pointedly away, into the dark sky. "You know, a lot of people say I'm an idiot for liking him. And maybe I am. He's no romantic, and he only wanted to 'restore his clan'  _before_ he got the Talk. And there's no way  _I'm_ helping him restore his stupid clan. I've seen what my mother went through with me and I can't imagine going through the same."

Sai was still giving her that confused look, and she realized that she would need to break it down for him.

"I mean that relationships are just not for me," she explained. "I don't have the looks to be Ino or the personality to be Hinata, and I'm always just gong to end up intimidating whoever I date."

"Dickless isn't intimidated by you."

"Yeah, well I think Naruto swings the other way," she huffed. "He spent two years training with his 'Ero-Sennin' and came back a virgin. There's something sketchy about that."

"Kankuro-san wasn't intimidated by you."

"He was just awed. That's kind of worse, in a way. I mean, not that I dislike it, but it was pretty weird." She quelled her fear slightly and looked down between the wings of the ink bird. The small buildings below didn't seem as far away anymore. Maybe it was because the faint moonlight wasn't bright enough to highlight them.

"I'm glad."

She turned back and her eyebrows rose when she saw Sai's expression. He was smiling. Smiling  _properly._ Not that usual, emotionless smile that he pasted across his face, but an  _actual_ one. It was a kind of wry smile. His real personality was filtering through, and she was starting to suspect that he was a jerk even underneath all that conditioning. But this smile was a true smile, and she couldn't help smiling back.

"You're glad that I have no luck in my love life?" She laughed.

"Yes. I prefer it when you are … I don't know how to describe it. 'Jaded', maybe. It makes you easier to be around. Simpler. People act too strangely in relationships, and it's hard to read them. Those people are nice, but not in large quantities or for long periods of time. There has to be people like you to balance them out."

She had to cover her mouth to stop the giggles from escaping, "so despite all your complaining than you can't tell what I mean, I'm one of the  _simpler_ people to interact with?"

"Exactly," he smiled that wry smile again, pleased with himself for having conveyed so complex an emotion. "I can remain friends with you more easily."

Did he know what he was saying? Sakura decided not to burst the bubble of the moment by squealing at his breakthrough. "Yeah, Sai. You don't need to try hard to be my friend." She smiled back again. With Ino and Naruto, it wasn't like her standards of friendship were particularly high, anyway.

At that moment, he looked over the side of the bird. "Sakura-san, we're here. That is our hotel," he pointed for the bird to land.

The bird swirled down until it skidded to a stop at the entrance of their hotel, and then promptly disappeared into a cloud of black ink that dissipated into the cold air. It was nighttime, but the lobby of the hotel was still bright, to accommodate the tourists who arrived during the later hours. The man behind the desk watched them over the top of his newspaper while they walked towards the stairs.

"Sakura-san, do you have the key?"

She nodded, patting the side of her sash where the box of money was. Along with it rested her room key, which she took out. They made their way to the third floor, and down the bright hallway to their room. She slipped the key into the door and pushed it open, hoping to lie down on the bed and maybe slip out of her ruined kimono and into the soft white pajamas the hotel provided.

When the door swung open and the hallway lights flooded into the room, there were both met with an interesting sight. Sakura's mouth dropped. The two figures on the bed inside froze.

"I've read about this in a book before," Sai observed, stroking his chin, "is it socially acceptable to interrupt, Sakura-san? Because I'd like to inform Kakashi-san about the money we have attained."

Inside, Kakashi quickly pulled the blanket up, but not before Sakura had gotten a rather interesting glimpse. In fact, he'd only pulled the blankets to his chest, covering most of Naruto – who'd been … interestingly positioned – as well and making himself relatively decent. Her target, however, was still out in the open.

All three teammates waited patiently for her expectedly disastrous reaction.

Instead, Sakura had a winning smile on her face, because unlike before – when she'd been distracted by Kuroda and the prisoners – she had a clear view. Kakashi didn't have his mask on, and the lights of the hallway that filtered in highlighted his face perfectly.

"Hah!" She pointed, "I can see your face, Kakashi-sensei! Naruto may have beat me to it, but at least I'm not the last one!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to make the Kuroda/Yora conflict seem too dangerous, because, after all, this is Kakashi we're talking about. He could take them anyday with his chakra.   
> Also, most of my other fics are KakaNaru, so if you like this, maybe you'll like them?  
> This is as much as I have typed out for ffn (where I began posting this). The rest will follow once I'm finished typing it, I just thought I'd post all the chapters I had so far.  
> Comments would make an overworked student smile (^^'')


	14. AN

This story is finished on my fanfiction.net account, and I'm too lazy to re-upload on here ^^". Please go to https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5132924/Riya3 to read the rest, the title of this story on that site is 'Fifteen Million Ryo'. Thanks for reading ^^!

**Author's Note:**

> Aha, I'm transferring some more of my work here. AO3 has nice formatting. Not as many users, though. Want to comment and add a little more sunshine to my day? (^^)


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